Kim welcome to OCF! You have found the best place for info and support to help both you and your husband get thru his treatments and recovery.
As a caregiver you have a very important job. Make sure you also take good care of yourself during everything else thats going on. Take some time at least once a week for just you, even if its only to walk a lap or 2 around the block.
Radiation isnt easy but with some direction your husband will do just fine. We will help you both so stick with us
To prepare, if he hasnt already seen his dentist try to make an appointment right away prior to rads starting. Anyone who undergoes radiation for head and neck cancer should wear fluoride trays on their teeth. This can help prevent major dental issues after rads. Also using a waterpik, having impeccable daily dental maintenance and getting regular (if not more frequent) dental cleanings. Since he just had major surgery, ask his doc if its ok to use a waterpik on his sensitive mouth. You sure dont want him to have any additional problems if he havent heeled enough before using it.
There will be so many things to do before he begins treatments. Make sure to have a full blood workup done including thyroid levels (and for men also get testosterone levels). He could have problems years down the road with his thyroid or any number of things. A blood test now ensures he will know what his regular baseline thyroid levels should be. Taking a pill a day to manage the thyroid isnt a big deal, but getting the baseline level is!
For right now focus on getting him to eat all his favorite foods as much as you can after a major surgery. During and after rads, a patients sense of taste and ability to swallow usually make eating pretty difficult, so he should eat now. You probably will want to begin focusing on your husbands intake right now to help with his recovery from surgery. A diet high in protein helps with healing. Dont worry about your husband gaining a couple pounds, he will probably be like most of us and lose weight during your treatments. When a person has cancer they burn up calories at an increased rate. During treatments and recovery he will want to boost his intake. Even now he needs to help his body recover so he should begin taking in more calories. During rads and for at least the first year afterwards, he needs a minimum of 2500 calories and 48-64 oz of water every single day. More (3500 or even 4000 calories) will only help make rads easier. He may not be able to eat very well right after surgery but definitely try to get him to have all his favorites prior to starting any treatments.
While paying attention to your husbands calories also watch his water intake closely too. His mouth is likely pretty sore so he may not be drinking as much as he should but during rads, he must!!! Every single day he must at the very least take a few sips of water several times throughout the day to keep his swallowing muscles actively working. If he are struggling with water intake, ask his doc to write a prescription to get extra hydration (usually in the chemo lab) a few times a week. A couple bags of fluids will instantly help your husband to feel much better. Its amazing what how much fluids can help!
List of Easy to Eat Foods Another tip for a caregiver is to not think too far ahead. Take it day by day. Nobody can predict how the future will be. Try to avoid worrying about things you have no control over and focus on what is within your grasp... your husbands intake, pain levels, etc. By constantly thinking too far ahead, it only creates more unneeded stress making everything harder than it has to be. I know it isnt easy being a caregiver and watching someone you love go thru so much and at the same time trying to behave in a positive way in front of your husband. Sometimes I think a caregiver has a harder job than the patient. Depression and anxiety are common with OC patients (many of their caregivers too). If you feel the need for anxiety meds, get them! If you see changes in your husband and think he could benefit from talking with a specialist ask at the treatment facility. Just think of it as a temporary tool to get you or your husband thru some hard times.
Ask about seeing a speech pathologist to help your husband with managing eating and talking clearly after his major surgery. The sooner you get him started with this, the easier it will be for him.
If you havent already done so, try to line up several helpers that can drive your husband to and from his treatments. The ACS has a volunteer driver program thats could be a huge help to you both. By lining up a driver for a couple days a week it will help to free you up to do some of the million other things you have on your plate or it will give you a much needed break.
Anyone who offers their assistance, tell them when the time comes you will let them know what they can do to help. Make sure to write everyones name down and contact info for later in case someone else needs to contact them. Make sure your husband also passes along any names and numbers to this list too. There are many small things you need help with during and after rads. Over the years working on the forum, Ive seen most people genuinely want to help but most dont know what they can do so dont be shy if you need some help... ask.
I could go on and on with tiny little tips. But Ive probably already given you way too much to think about. I want you to avoid the pitfalls that many patients and caregivers run into. Read thru posts and also on the main OCF pages to learn about OC. An informed caregiver is a much better advocate for their patient.
Best wishes with everything!!!
