About a year ago, I was very upset about some posts in this forum. Brian Hill emailed me about my concerns, and asked me to call him to discuss it personally with him.
I will never forget that he took the time to try to contact me. I was unable to respond mentally or verbally at the time.
I might be one of the rare ones, as I had clinical depression before the cancer. I welcomed the cancer and embraced death - I came very close to it. I wanted to die of 'natural causes' so my husband would be able to claim my life insurance. He would find a new love and marry again.
This was not to be, as I survived. Much to my surprise. My husband took care of me throughout the whole ordeal.
I'm better now. It's been 2 years and I am still NED. Because of my 'cancer dance' I found out that I am bipolar. It's not an excuse, but it explains a lot of things in my life.
The good part about almost dying is I don't fear death. It was a warm and peaceful feeling.
I never did introduce myself, so that's why I'm posting here.
I miss Charm. xoxo

Welcome back!!!!

Hey - welcome back! so glad you are doing do well two years out... Hugs..

Welcome back, indeed. Very nice intro! I hope your good fortune continues!

Shauneen,

I'm glad to hear that you seem to have found the calm in the storm we call life, and have found your way back to these forums.

Brian always amazes me with his commitment to help others, especially considering the schedule he keeps.

Like you I miss our cantankerous litigator. As the founder of the Frack Fraternity, and someone I considered a brother, there's not a day that goes by that I do not reflect on the time I was blessed with the man. I think it's safe to say that there would be no EricS, without both Brian, and Charm.

The amazing benefit of the written word however means that his wisdom and advice are never but a page view away, and I find myself going back over his posts and old conversations anytime I'm needing a dose of attitude, or a good laugh.

Welcome back to OCF and in the words of our beloved Charm�Keep the faith.

E

Eric are you speechless again??

So-o-o-o nice to hear from you Shauneen and thanks for such a lovely post about your experiences and the NED good news. Glad that Brian reached out to you with the much needed support and that your husband was so loving and caring throughout what was such a difficult time for you. Having very caring people around us, does go a long way in lightening the bad stuff that happens in life but it also intensifies and makes us appreciate the joys that come to us as well. Hope you continue to experiences many many joys and happy stuff!
Thanks for mentioning Charm.
I miss him, too.

Cheryld, as you well know I'm almost never speechless I wrote 2 responses to this thread, which to my disappointment didn't show up for some reason.

What a great post and congratulations on being two years out. I do think that many of us have, through cancer, learned to deal with the inevitable consequence of living, and like you I no longer fear death. That is a huge plus for me as I move forward with the rest of my life.

I am so happy to hear that you are feeling better Shauneen.

Donna
(Winterpeg resident!)

Hi Shauneen, and thank you for coming back. Thank you also for writing frankly about depression. I think it's far more prevalent in general, and especially among oral cancer patients, than anyone realizes. I started an anti-depressant during treatment myself. There is a lot of pressure to act brave, wear a positive attitude, etc. that I think makes it hard for some to even acknowledge the possibility of depression, let alone thier own inner turmoil.

I'm glad that you've found a measure of peace and clarity, even if you had to wrest it from this terrible "cancer dance." And while I never knew Charm, I've stumbled upon his posts and gotten a taste of his wit and character. I sense your wit and character too, and hope you will stick around here and share it with us.

Hugs,
Lynn