Lori,

I was "outed" by a friend, who told someone, then they told 2 friends, etc. Next thing I knew rumors were flying, and everyone had heard some version of the story, which was much harder to control.

I ended up putting a post on facebook to stem the rumor that I was dying. I actually found it calming to talk about it, as it was then just information, not this overwhelming "thing". Everyone is different though, so you have to do what feels right for you.

The "I have cancer" starts to fade, although it pops up again when you get treatment, check-ups after or think anything is off. I truly believe that your attitude toward this will have a huge effect on how things go. I approached it with the idea that this was a problem to deal with, and I would deal. Then I did. That's not to say there aren't hard times, but I thought about all the other people in the world who have bigger problems than me (ALS, dementia, which can't be fixed - no food or home or job), and remembered that in the bigger scheme of things, I am very lucky.

Lori,

I found it difficult to tell people that I had cancer. I had to inform my boss because of taking time off from work. But he was bound by company policy and I believe also HIPA laws to not say anything to my co-workers. I eventually told some of my co-workers after I returned to work.

I told friends and family also eventually. Since I've been on the cancer journey for a number of years including a recurrence and multiple surgeries, I ended up sending out updates via e-mail to friends and family. It was much easier for me to do it this way then to call everyone separately and answer the same questions over and over. There are also other websites (I believe one is called Care Givers) that you can register on and post updates. I know of number of people have used this as a way to keep friends and family informed. Facebook is also another option.

It is up to you who want to tell and when. But even if you tell friends in confidence, it will probably hit the rumor mills.

If want to spread word of something, true or not, just tell one person, and everyone will know lol.

I agree Paul. And it you tell them it is a secret, the word will spread even faster!!

I did my big share on Facebook, with co-workers, and students' parents this week. I have to admit it has helped by putting it out there. However, it has made it all very REAL. It was real before, but now it's out there.

All my co-workers have been absolutely amazing. I work at a private Christian school, and they are surrounding me and family with prayers. I truly have the best co-workers in the world. I am also thrilled that people are still treating me the same. I am still Lori, not cancer Lori, just good ole Lori.

Anxious for my surgery next week. Thank you all for being there for all of us newbies.

Do yourself a big favor and write down the name and contact info for anyone who has offered to help you. Tell them when the time comes you will let them know what they can do to help.

Best wishes next week!!!

Hi Lori,

I think bringing a thing out into the open strips a lot of the fear away. Whether it's us or others that are uncomfortable talking about it, it will probably bring a sense of peace just being able to openly talk about it.

Be sure they test you for HPV-16. It can dramatically change your treatment options.

Frank

Hi Lori, my case is almost like yours, and even the same age. I was diagnosed 2 months before my 30 birthday. I also had stage 1, no nodes invvolved. I lost 2 x 3 cm of my tongue, pretty normal life just difficult with "R" letter. Different that you I FREAKED out. Proud of you that seems much more calm than me.

I thought I was going to die in weeks, but it�s been one year and four months and here I am, alive, working hard and trying to do things I love. Just came back from an amazing trip in San Francisco and focusing on professional and personal projects.

Cancer sucks but early stage is really good as you mentioned before. If you want to ask anything, feel free to contact me

las3645. Sorry to read that you have the beast, but at least it is treatable and hasn't reached the lymps. I hope all goes well with you next week.

orober, even with lymph node involvement oral cancer can still be successfully treated.