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Joined: May 2012
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Gerri,

Your moms oncologist should be able to start hospice for her. There is often a hospice service affiliated with the hospital he or she is associated with. When my mom's oncologist called in the order for hospice they called us the very same day.

Your father will most definitely need help caring for her. Hospice will not be there 24 hours a day so that may help him to feel like he is doing the lion share of the caregiving. Do you have any other family that are nearby your parents that could help out?


Amy CG to mom Janet - diag w/ early SCC 8/11-surg w/ rad neck dissect & graft from arm/thigh 9/11-evid in nodes tx 6 wks rads (5/wk) w/cistplatin (1/wk for 6 wks) began 11/11-wk or 2 break 12/11 due to severe side effects-done 1/12- 3/23/12 mets to liver lung bone-hospice 4/7/12-lost fight 4/22/12
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My father is being a very head strong man and feels he can take care of her and please trust me he has done a wonderful job.
I have taken your advice and sent him an email requesting that he address the Hospice assistance now so it will help prepare for the further path ahead of them.

No other family lives near them and it drives me nuts when I suggest he needs help with her and his pride gets in the way. However I am writing him so that he will think about it and perhaps see that these needs should be addressed.

If the doctor feels she can't travel I am prepared to fly up there and work virtual for a week at least just to check on her myself and try to work with him in understanding the grand picture.

Thank you all for your sound advise and strong shoulders for me to lean on. Tomorrow I shall know more.
Gerri


My mom Lymphoma survivor 25 years.
Oral cancer since 11/2008
Chemo/Radiation
Surgery for reoccurence tumor 3/2012
8/2012 new tumor behind 3/2012 tumor
Quality of life is requested.
Passed away in her sleep just as she wished. 9/30/2012
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Gerri,

You are a wonderful and caring daughter and doing all that you can. I had mentioned previously that my mother just passed away from Alzheimer�s (June 2012), but a few years earlier she was the caregiver to my father who also had Alzheimer�s (he was 5 years older than her and he died in 2006 also at 84 years old). She took care of him for about 4 years before he died and that did have an adverse effect on her health. He was in and out of the hospital, nursing home and then back home again. After my father died that is when my mother started to go down hill and showing signs of Alzheimer's.

My parents had other family members in the area (their brothers and sisters) that offered support, but I lived 50 miles away. Being a full time caregiver is a very stressful job. You should also keep an eye on your father to see how he is doing. Hopefully he will be able to get out even if to go for a walk or visit with some friends. Men can be stubborn and headstrong � good luck and keep us posted.


Susan

SCC R-Lateral tongue, T1N0M0
Age 47 at Dx, non-smoker, casual drinker, HPV-
Surgery: June 2005
RT: Feb-Apr 2006
HBOT: 45 in 2008; 30 in 2013; 30 in 2022 -> Total 105!
Recurrence/Surgeries: Jan & Apr 2010
Biopsy 2/2011: Moderate dysplasia
Surgery 4/2011: Mild dysplasia
Dental issues: 2013-2022 (ORN)
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Susan, I'm sorry you have lost both your parents it must be very heart wrenching. I know it's going to be hard that is why I'm trying to grasp the truth and deal with it now so I can help my dad more. We do have family so I'm thinking of getting them on board after tomorrows doctor appointment.

My dad works if you can believe that, he is turning 80 this November and is the county Judge (small town part time job).. He has a lot of stress and keeps saying he is going to retire but I feel it's his outlet which is good... The bad part is... should mom be left alone for 4 hours at a time? I'm not feeling good about that and need to somehow get that through his head without making him feel that we don't appreciate him.

Letting me get all this out sure helps me figure out what I need to do. Not too many people understand the depth and hardship this cancer has on families and I'm very glad you are all here. This board has taught me more than just reading medical internet sites. SO KUDOS TO YOU ALL!
I will let you know what happens tomorrow.
Thanks again... Gerri


My mom Lymphoma survivor 25 years.
Oral cancer since 11/2008
Chemo/Radiation
Surgery for reoccurence tumor 3/2012
8/2012 new tumor behind 3/2012 tumor
Quality of life is requested.
Passed away in her sleep just as she wished. 9/30/2012
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 75
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Posts: 75
Everyone's situation is different but my husband could not be left alone at all for about the last three months. Frequent falls, just out of it so needed help with everything...pain med admin, etc. My insurance would cover some respite care, that might be something to check into. Take care!


CG to sp age 53
4/10 BOT IVb
6/10 Ttl Gloss Lrngectmy L Mndbltmy 5+ Nodes
7/10 Cispl & Rad
1/11 recur lung mets
2/11 Clin Tr Erb Carb 5FU last 5/11
7/11 Tumor growth began wkly Bleo, Taxol, Carbo
10/28/11 Hospice; Passed 11/7/11
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Gerri, my heart & prayers go out to you, your mom & dad. Nothing about cancer is easy or painless. I've been typing responses for past half an hour and keep erasing everything. Best wishes and take care of yourself.


T3 N3 squamous cell carcinoma of the right base of tongue. He was treated with induction chemotherapy followed by definitive chemoradiation, which he completed in December 2010. non-smoker, non-drinker.
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I am just so frustrated perhaps because I want to know the facts and plan life.
My dad called my Brother after the doctor appointment but couldn't discuss much because mom was sitting next
to him in the car. ( Ok my mom is pretty much deaf at this point but nice that he was thinking of her... )
The Dr said that the cancer doesn't appear to be too fast acting of a tumor (Please note that her cheek is now becoming read and swollen after two weeks of finding out that it was cancerous).
Doctor said that he could give her a little chemo to perhaps extend the growing a bit slow things down.
Ok sounds good but my problem is: she didn't handle it well 3 years ago and was pretty sick, And wasn't that what triggered the dementia.
So is this going to move her faster into Alztimers. I'm very confused and will hear the whole story from Dad in the morning. Dr said that she can travel and to come on down.
I just don't want her to suffer with the chemo if it's just going to make her suffer in another way.
I know this is a no win situation and I truly want to be excited that we will have more time but is the Doctor doing the right thing? I have no clue.
Thanks for my venting session... your all so wonderful.
Gerri


My mom Lymphoma survivor 25 years.
Oral cancer since 11/2008
Chemo/Radiation
Surgery for reoccurence tumor 3/2012
8/2012 new tumor behind 3/2012 tumor
Quality of life is requested.
Passed away in her sleep just as she wished. 9/30/2012
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 9
Member
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 9
What is
induction chemotherapy followed by definitive chemoradiation?


My mom Lymphoma survivor 25 years.
Oral cancer since 11/2008
Chemo/Radiation
Surgery for reoccurence tumor 3/2012
8/2012 new tumor behind 3/2012 tumor
Quality of life is requested.
Passed away in her sleep just as she wished. 9/30/2012
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10,507
Likes: 6
Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services
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Gerri, I am so sorry for everything you are facing. It must be so difficult for you not being right there with your mother during this.

Your mother's doctor has her best interests in mind when he makes recommendations. He has her full medical history and years of training. Here on OCF, we are not doctors but patients and caregivers who have lived thru oral cancer. We do have more extensive knowledge than the average patient. But, we cant second guess your mother's doctor when it comes to the chemo helping her more than doing her harming. I wish I could help you with your question but it would only be a good guess. The hardest decisions are the ones you and your family will have to sit down and discuss. We are here for you no matter what the treatment decision is.

I think induction chemo is where the patient has a pump and gets chemo for a few weeks to shrink the tumors. Chemoradiation is when a patient gets chemo along with doing the radiation treatments. It could be 3 large doses or 6 smaller ones over the 6 weeks of radiation treatments. There are only a few here who have had the induction chemo.

Make the most of your mothers visit!!! Best wishes!!!!


Christine
SCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44
2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07
-65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr
Clear PET 1/08
4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I
surg 4/16/08 clr marg
215 HBO dives
3/09 teeth out, trismus
7/2/09 recur, Stg IV
8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy
3wks medicly inducd coma
2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit
PICC line IV antibx 8 mo
10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg
OC 3x in 3 years
very happy to be alive smile
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induction chemotherapy followed by definitive chemoradiation= in my husband's case was 4 - 8 hour IV chemo treatments every 3 weeks, followed by 35 daily radiation treatments with 1 hour chemo IVs every Friday. they said because he was so young they were going to throw everything at him but the kitchen sink. ...and they did! Hang in there and hang on to each other!

Last edited by defeatingin2010; 08-17-2012 03:52 PM.

T3 N3 squamous cell carcinoma of the right base of tongue. He was treated with induction chemotherapy followed by definitive chemoradiation, which he completed in December 2010. non-smoker, non-drinker.
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