HI all,

Rod was put into remission 24/02/2011. He finished treatment end July 2009. Can someone please tell me when the remission date starts from? Is it the day you are told that you are in remission, or the last day of treatment? Bit confused...thanks peoples xoxoxo

Remission means there is no more living cancer not even a cell so that's a hard date to pin. Some of us call it the date after surgery with clear margins and some that didn't have surgery call it the date Tx ends hoping that it killed all the current cancer cells. It's just a date that means something to the patient as it would be technically almost be impossible to determine that exact time when the last cancer cell died so pick whatever date you want. I have never used that term, "in remission". I keep 3 dates in mind; the date I was told I had cancer; the date my Tx began and the date my Tx ended and I refer back to them depending on the conversation.

I also never use the term remission. It implies that it has been beaten back but that in some way that is a temporary thing, "you just don't know", is the inflection that I get from the word remission. Cancer being a genetic disease - is a process that is so small and complex that we can't say cured. Most hospitals and doctors will declare you NED (no evidence of disease) at the end of treatment. That's really a clean slate. Or I say to people that I have been cancer free since XXXX.

As usual, David and Brian's answers are spot on. My first "remission" was indeed temporary. I've been partial to the explanation in one of Brian's older posts (back when he was Member#4)
[quote]There is no cure for cancer. You are just free of it, for a month, a year, a decade, or until that Mac truck with your name on the bumper comes around the corner, and something else gets you. While we all would like to hear the word cure, healthy for now is what we get. This is part of what it means to be a survivor[/quote]
Keep the Faith
Charm

Thanks guys....all makes sense, and now I agree the word 'remission' is a bit negative. I like NED.

I recently decided to call my husband a "survivor" starting from the date he was diagnosed.

My doc told me to count it from the date of diagnosis. She explained that this is the date which you are working towards eliminating the cancer. Im another one who avoids the word remission.

Just found this post as I was just wondering what to say when I go back to work. I know people are going to ask because I used to see most of the same customers weekly and of course, coworkers are always asking how I'm doing. I remember when I was little my grandfather had non hodgkins lymphoma and always said he was in "remission." I first wondered if that term would even apply as my "tumor" and lymphs were removed through surgery and we don't REALLY know what and how much of the radiation killed. I find myself saying "I had cancer" and always wonder if that sounds right...this was the first time I had heard the term NED. Which I don't mind. It is frustrating that people automatically assume you're "cured." I also feel like some (including those closest to me) just expect me to be bouncing around and feeling awesome and "getting back to normal." Like it's SOOOOOO freaking easy. I want to scream "You have NO IDEA what I've been through! My life will never be the same!" You can't just "go back to normal." Ok...sorry...end rant.


Totally didn't mean to Hi-jack the caregiver/co-survivor forum. I found this post through a google search and didn't realize what forum it was in. Sorry!


MissB

Thanks all...Miss B, I know exactly how you would feel, I want to scream sometimes when those questions are asked about my husband. I believe no 2 people are the same, but there is so much ignorance out there it's not funny. So you say 'I have no evidence of disease, or no active cancer', and yep, they think you're cured, but they aren't the ones who have gone through that horrendous treatment with long term side effects. Maybe it's not just my mental problems that prevent me from leaving the house much, but also having to face 'those' questions! I feel for you hon, even though I'm just a carer.....

Being a CPA and a local politician I had/have people in and out of my office all day every day. I got SOOOOOOOO tired of being asked "how are you?" or "you OK now?" that I had to restain myself from screaming. To this day I still have those questions now and again.