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#13450 07-31-2002 02:33 PM
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I didn`t ask to be struck with this, but, why not me..........I don`t consider myself better than anyone else nor do I consider myself less. If haden`t been struck with it, then that means someone else would have, and I wouldn`t wish that on my worst enemy. It`s nice that you want to help people, I like helping others to, but I want to be truthful about it too. I was diagnosed with oral cancer ibn 1998, went through the heaviest radiation twice a day for 6 weeks, in the past yr. 2 surgerys. They took my whole lower jaw, my entire tongue, my voice box and lymph nodes, and I`m not sure what else. I haven`t had food in a year. I was a big eater, but at one point was down to 118 lbs, now I`m back to 150 lbs,,,,,I have huge lilac bushes and beautiful roses, none of which I can smell;Hell, I can`t even blow my nose, I have to suction it out..........As far as being a hero, I never thought of myself as a hero, just someone who faced it head on.....I absolutely refuse to become my disease, or let it run my life..........I live my life everyday as i want to, and do the things I want to do. I don`t plan my life around my disease. I know I have cancer and I do what I have to do to deal with it. I don`t pity myself, I do, however, pity and feel sorry for those who pity themselves, for they have become their disease. They can`t enjoy life, and that`s what I call sad..........I still shovel snow and walk my dog. I don`t drive or eat, but I can live without either. I still enjoy a fulfilling sex life.......Life is what we make it..............Packer [email protected]

#13451 08-01-2002 06:03 AM
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Packer66, That was a wonderful a of putting it. I had tongue cancer and had half of my tongue removed, I too enjoy life now, and I'm very glad to have this foundation to write too. Hope all goes well with you?


Cathy

SCCA Stage IV diagnosed 01/90
base of tongue with 1/2 removed.
With neck resection, radiation and chemo
#13452 08-01-2002 07:17 AM
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Packer66,

You have a great attitude. It's very inspiriational for someone like me who's just started back to life after the surgery.

Thanks for posting. I really liked reading what you had to say.


I survived because I kept hope alive!!! Live, laugh, love and keep fighting hard.
Jeanette
Stage 3 oral cancer...over 60% of tongue and all lymph nodes on right side removed...July 2002.
Chemo and Radiation...ended September 2002.
#13453 08-02-2002 01:41 AM
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just a word of thanks to those who replied to my first post. I`m rather new at communicating with others about my problems. i try to express my true feelings and what I believe. I don`t try to convince others to believe as I do. I try only to give them something to think about. I believe that we take control of own destiny. You have to be you, no one in the world can be you better than yourself. That`s what I try to do, just be me, nothing special, no hero or anything like that.I admit, I`ve been through more in the past year than most people will go through in a lifetime, but I will live my life on my own terms.I`m going to face this next surgery as I did the previos ones....scared, I`d be lieing if I said I wasn`t scared, when they knock me out, I`m out of control, but I trust my docs that I`ll be fine........I must tell everyone, though, the biggest part of my strength and my biggest inspiration, and my guardian angel is my wife. She has managed to care for me for the past 4 years, and support and care for 2 elderly neighbors, who wished to die at home, plus somehow find the time to befriend 2 deathrow inmates. She has taught me the true meaning of compassion, of helping me understand that whenever we fall down and pick ourselves up again, we grow. That we are spirit, living in a body. That we are all here to help each other....How Can I Help, seems to be the words she lives by, so that`s really why I`m on this board............not to be a hero, or a disease, but taking my life, and trying to follow her example..........thankyou again to all who responded

#13454 08-02-2002 04:28 AM
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Your wife sounds like an extraordinary woman...I know personally how important it is to have someone like that help you through this process, while I talk a good line, I don't think I could have gone through all this alone without the constant support of my wife. Your own attitude is also to be admired, playing the cards that you've been dealt without anger, or blame is not an easy thing to do. Many of us try to look outside ourselves for the answers, and the strength to endure. But those that are able to work within the confines of their new and constantly changing physical self, frequently with severe limitations, are the ones who inspire me the most. I hope your next surgery goes without a hitch, and we hear back from you soon that all went well.


Brian, stage 4 oral cancer survivor. OCF Founder and Director. The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.
#13455 08-02-2002 12:51 PM
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What would we do without our selfless caretakers when we are going through the worst experience in our lifes? President Bush should declare A National Give Thanks to Caretakers week so we can pay homage to them appropriately. I was fortunate enough to have my in-laws move in with our family for about three months freeing up my husbands time to care for me and be at the hospital when I needed him They took care of our son, and then helped heal me when I was home from the hospital. And without my husbands constant encouragement and "can do" attitude I really don't know where I'd be today. He never missed a beat---never--- and was with me during the worst of times just holding me or giving me words of comfort. Today he remains my biggest cheerleader! So I hear you Packer 66 and I know exactly what you mean when you say your wife is/was your inspiriation, your guardian angel. I guess they took those wedding vows pretty darn seriously and I for one am glad they did! Sincerely, Donna


SCC first time 1989, with a diagnoses of 'cancer in situ' removed lesion, no other treatments.
SCC recurrence 1997 of tongue and floor of the mouth. Stage III /IV Hemmiglossectomy (removed over 60% of tongue/ floor of the mouth), free flap, modified neck, RAD and Chemo(cisplatin, 5fu) simutainously.
Cancer free 6, yes, six, years!
#13456 08-02-2002 03:26 PM
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Posts: 68
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I agree with all of you about having terrific spouses. My husband has really stepped up to the plate with caring for me. He has never experienced anyone ill before in his life, so this has been a tremendous challenge for him.
There were some things that really grossed him out in the beginning, but he was strong enough to overcome that and now he's a great help.

The comment about the wedding vows was right on.....and to think, my husband and I just exchanged them 8 months ago. This has been a real trial for newly weds to go through, but if we get through this the rest of our lives will be cake!!!

Thank God for all of the caregivers....they deserve so much!!


I survived because I kept hope alive!!! Live, laugh, love and keep fighting hard.
Jeanette
Stage 3 oral cancer...over 60% of tongue and all lymph nodes on right side removed...July 2002.
Chemo and Radiation...ended September 2002.
#13457 08-05-2002 03:29 AM
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Hi, You have a great attitute.You have a loving wife, great sex and a good dog , what else do you need,right? After I was home connected to tubes and wires and air machines etc. I saw one of my cats sneaking down the hall, came up to my bed and peeked his head over,I put out my hand rubbed his ears, I got tears in my eyes, I thought this is life, the small comforts we get in everyday living, like rubbing a cats ears.My husband was my caretaker and will be again because I need more surgery, He is great no one gave me the comfort he did in his care. Don"t worry about the smell of the flowers look at the beauty , I am an avid gardner if I did not have that , all of this would have been harder to get through.The weekend before my first operation I went and got about 60 new tulips, I planted them in one shot. I said to my husband I will be here in the spring to see them bloom! I have seen them two years now and I hope more, plus planted a lot more stuff since. gnelson


gnelson, StageIV, cancer free since Nov.9,2000

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