dear friends of my mother,

first of all i want to thank you all for your love, support, precious advice and interest all this hard time. this site is a heaven for people who suffer for this terrible disease, where you can find friends, a shoulder to lean on, the advice of a doctor the strength to carry on. all this time mom has fought really hard to make it and she never complained or gave up. Up to the last minute she was standing still, doing all the housework and she was giving us hope and strength.
but unfortunately on Saturday a vessel on an vein near the carotid broke and leaded to excess bleeding. noone ever told us that this was a very strong possibility sth like that to happen. and she was all alone and when i found her she has already lost a lot of blood. next day a second bleeding when they tried to change the tracheostomy leaded to her loss.
please i didn;t know that a bleeding is very common in that cases, so if you have beloved people that you take care of please don;t leave them alone.
thank you all again for your love, you are all very special people an d i hope to all of you to be the winners and to beat that shitty thing.
god bless you all and never give up hope! and please always take a second opinion, i was never told the whole story!
thank you, sophia;s daughter.

I am so sorry for your loss. I'll be sending prayers for you and your family.

Sue

Dear Sophia,
words can't express my sorrow at your mothers loss and I extend my deepest condolences and prayers for her, you and the rest of your family.

It is always tragic when we lose another member of our community.

Sophia,
Thank you for lettting us know about your mother. My deepest sympathy to your family. Your mother presented a dignified acceptance of the ravages of this horrid affliction. She wrote that the medical situation there is difficult so perhaps that is why you did not know what to expect. Even when one is receiving the best of care the patient, family and friends do not always get the most comprehensive information. Often we just want to get better and don't ask about what is down the road or the doctors only concentrate on doing their particular task at that time.
Malka

Sohpie's daughter,

I am truly sorry that your mother lost her battle with this horrible disease. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

Take care,
Eileen

Hi Sophia's daughter. We communicated several times when she had her last surgery this past summer. I am so sorry to hear of her passing. I am so sorry that she had to endure what she did at the end of her life.She was a very spunky upbeat and incredibly strong woman. I can only imagine what she was like in person.

You were blessed with a wonderful mother in your life and her memory will be with you always. I wish you could have had her with you longer. She is in a better place now without pain or struggle. She is looking out for you.

Much love to you and your family.

Kate

Im very sorry for your loss. Its never easy to lose a parent. May you find comfort in the good memories you shared.

Dear Sophia's Daughter,

Your mother was an amazingly compassionate and strong woman. She was so supportive of others on this board. When She hadn't posted for a while I sent her a private message last month and her reply let me know what a difficult time she was having but that she wasn't giving up hope. I recall reading about others on this board who's loved ones bled at the end so I hope some of them will contact you.

Warmly, Sohpie

Sophie,

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I know that you will miss her. However, I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that she is at peace now.

Les

This is my first night on the forum. I have a dear friend, Becky, who had her third surgery regarding her oc. She had a radical neck sugery to get as much out as they could. I'm not even aware of her stage, but was told it is an aggressive cancer. She had radiation starting in April, but it didn't prevent the cancer from returning. What are some options for her? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

So sad that this cancer is so cruel and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Lucy, it's best that you start a new thread so answers to you aren't mixed with answers to the original thread.

My single piece of advice is to get her case to a Comprehensive Cancer Center designated such by the National Cancer Institute (If she's not already consulting one) where it will be reviewed by all the various cancer-fighting disciplines for the best course of treatment.

Here's a list:

http://www.oralcancerfoundation.org/resources/cancer_centers.htm

thank you all very much for your support.
i just keep wondering all the time how sth like that could happen. i only knew the possibility of mets to another place but not haemorrhage. it is realyy important for me to understand why this happened. Was it due to chemo or because of the disease? and is this the case to happen all of a sudden?please if you have some input i would like to know. she was still fighting, i can't understand what happened.
thank you,
sophia's daughter

Sophia- My husband and I were told about the possibility of hemorrage by his doctor. He also had him sign a DNR in case that happened. It is rare but it happens with head and neck cancer-as you are well aware. The neck had so many veins, blood vessels, and is a very active area. I'm so very sorry this happened to you but there is nothing you could have done. Nobody could have done anything as it happens quickly and without warning. Try to remember you mom with love and happiness. Those of us who communicated with her do.

Sue

Sophia seems like a repeat of what everyone else has said but God bless you for taking care of your mom and being there for her. I am sorry that she lost her battle but at least she won't have to battle anymore...