Battling this cancer, my mother is (understandbly) anxious, scared and very emotional. My constant reminders to her of 'staying positive' and 'living life for right now,' just go unheeded and solicit groans. I don't intend to come off as lecturing, but I choose to remain positive with my own actions and statements. My wish is that she would heed this influence, but I see it does not happen and I want to remain on her side (not against her).

How can I respectfully and effectly communicate my positivism to my mother and better yet, transfer that to her?

I have heard about gratitude journals from people, but my mother would not be interested. I would like to create something for her that effectively communicates the same thing, but that she would not have to maintain herself (don't think she would). Of course, my goal is to bring her joy and happiness.

She lives at her home, but generally does not display gifts of home decor from others (she will throw it out or store it away).

Does anyone have any success stories about methods / crafts / things to bring about joy in this way to their depressed loved ones?

Have you tried going through photo albums with your mom? People often take photos at happy times - holidays, vacations, etc and maybe that will be a good method to open up communication. Don't forget - sixty anything is the new "forty anything" and you Mom likely doesn't feel ready to give in/give up.

I know my daughter at age 26 thinks that me - at 54 - is old!! Well I have news for her!

Another suggestion - take her to "Slumdog Millionaire" Great movie and it certainly does remind us to be thankful for our "north american" high standard of living.

Donna

Just my opinion, but if you keep pushing yourself on her, that's good for you and apparently bad for her in terms of annoyances -- Just set an example by maintaining a good attitude and suppress the statements and lectures -- Find someone else to talk to and get it all off your chest (as you are doing here)without adding to her burdens -- Movie sounds like fun. And maybe some tearful chick-flick to flush some of this out of both your systems <g>.

Pictures helped my mom a lot. She spent a lot of time editing them with different programs on the computer and covering our walls with them.
Mom did go through a few periods where she was down. We would just give her space. She would stay in her room and read. We would pop in and out to make sure she knew we were there.
I always tried to be super positive about things too. Sometimes realism is just what my mom needed tho. She didn't like things sugar coated. Hope is one thing but acting like having your tongue and jaw removed isn't a big deal is another thing. This website is what made the biggest turn around for my mom. Maybe you should introduce her to it.

Best of Luck,
Amy