I am really struggling with this idea of my husband going thru tx again. It brings back all of the terrible memories of tx spring/summer 08. Has anyone gone thru oral cancer tx a 2nd time? How do you handle knowing the pain and illness that awaits? When we went thru this before I was the caretaker for my husband as well as acting as a single parent to our 5 children and I did not seek any help. I know I can not do that again (it resulted in alot of poor decisions and mistakes) so here I am seeking advice and support from those who know. anything you can tell me would be appreciated. Thanks

Diane,

There is another side to this. You can use your experience and wisdom from the first go around to help you through this next phase. Start by lining up friends and family that can help with your children: transportation to and from school, meals, homework help, and time with friends. Most people are happy to help if asked.

Keep posting here to relieve the stress that will inevitably sneak up on you. And, most of all, be kind to yourself. Stay in touch with your friends. Find time to get away from it all even for a hour or two. You'll be better able to deal with everything if you are taking care of yourself.

I am sorry that you have to go through this again. Being the caregiver is so hard, but you can do it. I wish you the best.

Anita

i agree with anita. u know what u are going to need this time around from past experience. u also know how tough it is going to be, so try to prepare yourself mentally.
sorry about the reocurrance. hang in there. keep us posted.

Diane --

There is a section of the forum devoted specifically to recurrence. Start there to get information and to post your fears and concerns -- and you can and will get through this.

thanks for the words of encouragement. I am taking your suggestions and lining up help now so I'm ready for whatever happens next.My hubby and I are taking the time now to talk about how to best manage this next round. We did not have the knowledge to know what to expect before, now that we do we will be ready and more prepared.

As you and your husband have gone through this before, you could give a few pointers to me as I'm still a newbie caregiver. In any new situation mistakes will be made but you learn from those mistakes. You may even teach the drs. a thing or two.

Diane
none of us knows how we will ever get through watching someone we love go through this hell,but you know that you will and this time you have all of us to help.good luck xx

I am a caregiver to my husband. When we went through this early 2007 I did not participate in this website, but I spent hours reading what others had to say. Well I am back again. We are waiting the results of the biopsy, however the ENT has predicted a return of the big C. When we left the ENT's office, my husband looked at me and said "Here we go again."
I have been numb all week, but I know I have to be strong. I am just amazed how friends have been calling me.
My husband and I are business partners, but I have told him his focus for the next year is to get treated and to heal.
I feel like I am just rambling. Please pray for strength for both of us. Thank you for letting me vent. Sally

Sally,

Vent anytime and I wish doctors would stop guessing and just wait for the path results like everyone else. They can only either give false hope or create unnecessary stress. If they ever turn out to be correct it was only a guess.

If you plan on posting more it's really helpful if you create a Signature Line so everyone can respond more informed about where you are in things.

You also may wish to start your own Thread so posts won't get mixed together and become confusing.