After Treatment - 05-10-2005 10:46 PM
Ok guys, I need yet more advice.
I know this sounds stupid but I have had a sudden realization (actually Harry and I both had it at the same time) that I have been looking at this wrong and it has led to a difficult emotional situation.
We have been so busy just getting through the treatments that we were acting as if once this was done we were through.
Then I asked the doc what comes next and suddenly I felt overwhelmed. I new that they would have to do the scans and the x-rays but it just dawned on me that they could come back showing that he still has the cancer. We both talked about this the other day and we are both struggling with the want to know, don't want to know thing.
We are feeling a lot of anxiety and stress. I brought Harry home from the hospital finally today. He has that damn C-diff infection again which is why they kept him at the hospital an extra 3 days. Because I have become such a good nurse they agreed to let him come home. Otherwise they would have kept him to Thursday.
But we are now in fear of the tests coming at the first of June. And then 3 months after that and 3 months after that and so on for the next 5 years. All this time doing the treatments it just never occured to us that this wouldn't be over when the treatments were done.
I guess that on some level I always knew, but I just didn't think about it until that last bag of 5FU finished its last drop and now we are just waiting. He completed his last treatment Saturday night.
He was doing so well before I took him in for the last treatment. Today when I brought him home he said that he thought he was dying. It was an anxiety attack so I gave him xanax. But it made me think about a lot of other things.
I guess what I am wondering is how do you get through the anxiety that surely comes every 3 months with the check ups and especially the first time?
This is soooo damn hard!
Thanks,
Cindy
I know this sounds stupid but I have had a sudden realization (actually Harry and I both had it at the same time) that I have been looking at this wrong and it has led to a difficult emotional situation.
We have been so busy just getting through the treatments that we were acting as if once this was done we were through.
Then I asked the doc what comes next and suddenly I felt overwhelmed. I new that they would have to do the scans and the x-rays but it just dawned on me that they could come back showing that he still has the cancer. We both talked about this the other day and we are both struggling with the want to know, don't want to know thing.
We are feeling a lot of anxiety and stress. I brought Harry home from the hospital finally today. He has that damn C-diff infection again which is why they kept him at the hospital an extra 3 days. Because I have become such a good nurse they agreed to let him come home. Otherwise they would have kept him to Thursday.
But we are now in fear of the tests coming at the first of June. And then 3 months after that and 3 months after that and so on for the next 5 years. All this time doing the treatments it just never occured to us that this wouldn't be over when the treatments were done.
I guess that on some level I always knew, but I just didn't think about it until that last bag of 5FU finished its last drop and now we are just waiting. He completed his last treatment Saturday night.
He was doing so well before I took him in for the last treatment. Today when I brought him home he said that he thought he was dying. It was an anxiety attack so I gave him xanax. But it made me think about a lot of other things.
I guess what I am wondering is how do you get through the anxiety that surely comes every 3 months with the check ups and especially the first time?
This is soooo damn hard!
Thanks,
Cindy