Tomorrow marks one month since my brother's death. Sometimes it seems like years ago and sometimes it seems like a few days. Just as I thought I was doing better, the overwhelming sadness took hold once again. Sometimes I think it will never stop. I know, I know....He's no longer in pain; Everything happens for a reason; Time heals all wounds; but somedays all the rationalization in the world doesn't ease the pain. Well, I won't ramble on, we each have our own cross to bear. I will just continue dragging mine along. I just wanted to remember David's "anniversary" and let him know I still love him.

Tonya
Time doesn't heal it just takes the rough edges off, but we learn to live and control our grief and later to enjoy the fact that we had those special people to share our lives
Sunshine...love and hugs
Helen

Dear Tonya

David will always be with you in your heart. He is comforted and safe there.

Love from Helen

Tonya: I always followed your posts since I too, am a sister of a brother with oral cancer. Helen said it perfectly: He will always be within in your heart. He is comforted and safe there.

Also, I want to say, you were a good advocate for him, helping him and his family get the very best treatment and information they could. Warm wishes & a hug, Candace

Tonya,
Trust me, David knows you still do and always will love him. You spent all his life showing proving it.
Minnie

Thank you all. Today is a better day. Last night I was reminded of something my niece told me, "Uncle Boo is with Jesus and he doesn't hurt anymore." It reminded me just how grateful I am he is no longer feeling the intense pain he suffered the last 15 months. I would never wish him one more minute of suffering. He is at peace.
Candace, please keep me updated on your brother and know I send him, you and his entire support system my love and compassion.

Tonya, I hope you will continue to support OCF with your knowledge and compassion. It would be a fitting tribute to David. Amy

Dear Tonya,

Take as much time to grieve as you need. There is no time table for this process.
Take comfort in knowing how much you loved and helped him. I don't think David would want you
to grieve too long. I'm sure he loved you as much as you loved him. He is in a better place than we are now.

Love Ya, Danny Boy

Tonya,

It's been 9 months and 6 days since my sister died. I understand the sadness that you feel. Kim was my only sister. People tell me it will get easier with time, but I only feel it getting harder. So many things remind me of her or I see or hear something that I would love to tell her and I get even sadder (if that's even possible.) I am so happy that her suffering is over, but I still want her here with me.

During the past nine months, there have been countless times when I have picked up the phone and almost dialed her number, only to remind myself that she's gone.

This is the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. I feel your pain. The only advice that I can offer to you is to talk to your brother daily and remember him with your family. It might sound silly or crazy, but everyday I tell Kim how much I miss her and that I love her. I know she probably knows, but it feels good to say it out loud. I also spend a lot time remembering her with family and friends. I don't think it will ever get easier...like I said, in nine months it has gotten harder. There are many nights, like tonight, where I cry uncontrollably and my heart aches. I just have to remind myself that it's ok to cry.

I envy your strength in posting about your brother's anniversary. I haven't been able to post about Kim since she died. I pray that God continues to give you and your family all the strength you need. SOrry to ramble on.

God Bless you