I HAVE SAID FROM DAY ONE IF YOU HAVE "C" ONCE AND YOU BEAT IT,,THEN THAT SHOULD BE IT,,YOU WON,,,BUT NO, NO, NO IT HAD TO COME BACK AGAIN AND THEN AGAIN,,,HOW MUCH CAN A BODY TAKE,,WELL I AM FINDING THIS ALL OUT,,NOW..IT HAS BEEN A LONG BATTLE FOR ME,,,BUT FOR 10 YEARS I LIVED AND I LIVED LOVING EVERY MINUTE THAT I HAD,NOW I AM IN THE HOUSE, I LOOK LIKE A CHIPMUNK,,LOL,,I DO,,FROM ALL THE SWELLING,,,,AND I AM ANGRY..THAT I SHOULD HAVE TO GO THRU ANY OF THIS AGAIN,,I AM ANGRY,, YOU BET I AM,,WHO WOULDN'T BE,,BUT I GO ON. I GET UP EVERYDAY AND PUSH MYSELF..THIS IS MY NEW WORD THIS TIME AROUND,,,I AM ANGRY,,,I COULD THINK OF A FEW MORE BUT THIS ONE IS NICER AND CLEANER,,LOL,,,I WOULD LOVE TO SMASH SOMETHING, HOWEVER I DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO THROW OR I SURE AS HELL WOULD...I WATCH MY 28 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER CRY OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE,,AND YES I AM ANGRY, THESE ARE TEARS THAT SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO LET FLOW DOWN HERE FACE AGAIN..SHE SHOULD BE ABLE TO LIVE HER LIFE WITHOUT ALL THIS SADNESS..TOMORROW IS YET ANOTHER DAY, MAYBE THE SWELLING WILL GO DOWN??? AND WE PRAY
Miss Vicki,
I am sorry that you have to experience the pain and suffering of a reoccurance. I think we have all been angry, you are after all griefing your cancer free life. I think it's totally normal. Too bad Dee's out of pocket for awhile (she's relocating)she could tell you about smashing things. I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this, but since you're already there you will have no problem making it. We are having a OCF gathering in Las Vegas in September. Keep that in mind.
Again let me welcome you to the board!
Lynn
Miss Vicki
Look back over the smash things thread.. when we get to Vegas we are going off with machine guns..
we are good at anger and smashing things..Yep Lynn we need Dee back here..
love and Hugs
Helen
Welcome Miss Vicki,
It feels good to vent and let off a little steam.
I am truly sorry you have to go thru this again. It does suck. One thing i've learned about life in general is nothing is fair. You play the hand your dealt. At the end of all your emotions I think we have to accept things we can't control.
As Gary amd many others have said, "Live each day to the fullest, Live in the present. We all never really know when that bus will hit us. I hope you can find some comfort on this forum. There is a ton of experience you can tap into.
Helpful, caring, loving people who are all going through a similer situation. We each react different to similer situations. But we are always here for each other. We are here for you also!!!
Your Friend, Dan
Thanks Dan,, it just gets to me some days more than others, I just don't fell that a person should have to fight all there lives,. I think that is sad. But I will do whatever I have too. To survive, to see my grandbabies grow some more, to love my Honey some more, to boss my 2 children some more.They are grown and they don't mind it now...I thank you for being here for me,,We need all the support we can get, and all the love we can get..
Angry? Yesterday, I thought I had the corner on the market. I guess not, huh! I did smash something , but it didn't break. Thank goodness! One of the many plastic waste baskets I spit into endlessly & it had a lot of spit, paper towels & toilet paper in it! Miss Vicki, I/we feel your pain & all wish we could take it away & would if we could! Please keep yer chin up!
Miss Vicki,
Hell, as I have been reading your posts, I even get angy! I get a bit philosphical at times (as everyone will atest to here
) but I see the world today in all of it's glory, in all of it's suffering. I wonder why each and every one of us has had to endure one, for some, two, for some and beyond for you. I was once told that God never gives us more than we can handle and I ask Him often if He is sure when it comes to me. He finds ways to affirm my faith in Him: the birth of my children, the new flowers blooming in the spring, waking to the sounds of the baby birds on the roof outside of our bedroom window, meeting all of you! I am so sorry you have had to fight this battle so many times now but you have truly been blessed to have been given that opportunity. May God continue to bless you!
Ed
i've been there and i still go there i was diagnosed in 2003 april 8 my BIRTHDAY then i had a recurrance 2004 april 8 agin ....guess what no more dam BIRTHDAYS .......lol iam 30 yrs old
well i now exactly how you feel i watch my fiancee tear up now and again and it feels like theres a hole in my heart that gets bigger and bigger i have so much love for that woman that i can't put it into words if it was not for her i don't know where i would if cancer is the worst thing that happens to me she is definately the best ..believe me angels exist i lay next to one every night
take care god bless hang in there