Hi! My name is Sheila & I am 38 years old. My dad was diagnosed with OC back in January & had surgery in February removing part of his tongue, part of his upper palet & part of the back of his throat. The surgery was quite successful however he still required 6 weeks of radiation as well. Now during the past 2 weeks, the Doctors have told us that the cancer is back & is spreading very quickly. He was scheduled for more surgery just this past Friday (Sept 5) to have a good portion of his cheek removed along with part of his jaw bone. Instead, the surgeons called us the night before to inform us that his x-rays showed that the cancer has now spread into his lungs & that they felt the surgery wouldn't do much good. We are now waiting for a call to inform us when his first chemo treatment will be. My mother is a mess, my brother thinks that if he just ignores everything, it will all go away. Then there is me. That leaves me to be strong & pull it all together for everyone. I just don't know where to get the strength to do that. I want to be there for my family & most of all my dad. My dad's biggest concern is how all of this is effecting all of us. What do I do & how do I get that strength that I need for myself & my family? Please help

Hello Sheila,

Sorry you are joining us but please know you are welcome. You have come to the right place for shoulders and venting. Sunday's are a bit slow so a lot of your fellow caretakers and family members may not be on the boards today. I'm not sure how much I could help since I am a patient, but there are people here that will reply with I'm sure helpful answers.

We have as many caretakers and family members (I believe) as we do actual survivors and patients.
We do have a new caretakers section that you might want to visit as your journey proceeds, it has some wonderful, caring and loving people that post who understand your side of cancer. From reading your post it seems that you may have more strength than you realize. Always remember - "one day at a time" and take deep breaths when you feel you are losing control. You will get through this.

I wish you the best.
Dinah

Welcome aboard, Sheila, you`ve come to the right place, we`re all hanging on to the same lifeboat, in one way or another.I`ve been through 6 surgeries with Frank in less than 2 yrs......Currently, we are facing an inoperable tumor, but definitly still fighting. Where do we find the strength and courage to go on ? Beats the hell out of me, but we do. We all have good days and horrid ones. Watching this happen to someone you love is horrid beyond words. But, believe me you aren`t alone, there a great bunch of caring folks here, willing to share their love and prayers with you..........Dee

Dear Sheila, You have my prayers for both you and your family. It is a difflcult thing to have this cancer return. Is it a return or did they not get it all the 1st go around. Good luck on the chemo and please post again as you find out more. Has your dad had his max of radiation or can he receive more? Keep a positive attitude, there are people who survive these 2nd bouts of cancer. Take care, Dan