Hi Y'all! So am posting here in hopes I chose the correct place. My apologies if it should go elsewhere. So, my husband JUST got his diagnosis and we don't know much. After reading on here and getting some wonderful replies from y'all (you're great, by the way!) and my sister came over (she is a cancer survivor, too!) I am managing my anxiety much better than ANYONE could have hoped. Let me explain...I have super severe anxiety. Baffles docs all around the world at how severe it is. I keep it well controlled thanks to YEARS of therapy and some help from xanax when necessary and am considered 'highly functioning'! I fought tooth and nail not to lose it when we got his diagnosis. After my sister going thru cancer and having lost my Dad to cancer just a few weeks ago, well, I have to thank y'all, again and again. I feel blessed to have found this forum and hope you all know how much you have already helped me! I hope that at sometime in the future I can offer someone the incredible outpouring of support I have already received! Now I am trying to convince my husband to come on here and 'meet' y'all, but he's scared. He said he doesn't know what to say or how to talk with strangers. I am asking him to trust me and give it a chance as I know he could really use the support I see here. Any advice on anything I could tell him to help assuage those concerns? He's seen how being on here has settled me down-considerably-and that has him happy! He is still in, I think we both are, that stage of, 'Is this for real?' We know it is, but we don't KNOW it is. Did that make sense? On Monday morning we are going to find out if we can indeed go to MD Anderson rather than BAMC. So In the meantime I am going to keep gently suggesting he at least come read some forums and try to peak his interest enough to get him to engage on here! Thank you all, sooo much!

Being a caregiver is not an easy task at all. Many caregivers who never experienced anxiety suddenly find themselves taking meds to help them handle their situation. One key to making this a tiny bit easier is for you to never forget to take time for yourself during the havoc of the next few months. If you break down then who will handle everything? Being a caregiver is sometimes a thankless job with the weight of the world resting entirely upon your shoulders. We know how rough it can be to mentally handle everything being thrown at you. Its ok to lean on us when you need to. We are here for you both.

If your husband joins thats great. If he is too shy thats ok too. If he wants to just browse the posts and learn from them without posting thats alright too, whatever he is most comfortable with. This site is completely anonymous. His identity (or yours) would only be revealed if either of you wanted it to be. We do understand where he is coming from.

Every journey is different, but many people here have driven over the same bumps.

Post up any question, have a vent if you like. You can see from reading our other threads the replies are always honest and genuine.

Not too often do we find both the Patient AND their Caregiver post on this site so don't push him. Try printing out your posts and responses and other selected threads and leave them where he'll find them in private. We all can react differently to adverse news and just hearing the word cancer scares the crap out of everyone. Even suspecting my bad news I still fainted when I heard that I had cancer and after surgery and chemo and radiation my doc said I had only a 60% chance of 5 year survival. At first I didn't want to tell anyone, like I was ashamed but as they say time heals all.....Give him time, hell give both of you time.

If he's nervous this place can be scary sometimes it helps to maybe print out a few of the replies for him. Hugs and welcome.