I can't believe it.
February 19th will be 11 years since my first diagnosis
September 23rd was my 7th year since my second diagnosis
I have been through the surgeries, the treatments and was finally feeling better - ready to focus on my overall health and worry less about cancer. Over the past year I have lost some weight and I continue to work to become more fit.
Then this morning I noticed the lumps. Two of them on the left side of my neck (1st cancer side) about two inches below my chin bone.
Cue the quivering worried mess that I am. Why did I believe that I 'had a handle' on this? How arrogant! I think the demon time lulled me into believing I was past cancer.
I value my long time cancer friends beyond belief, and I remain in contact with them, but I must say that in the past year or so I felt that I had so little to add to the excellent advice that was already being provided on this site. That would be why the newer posters would not know me. A post of 'yes - what she said' would hardly be helpful now would it?
I know that sometimes a lump is just a lump. I do not have a cold or the flu so there is no reason that I know of for lymph nodes to be irritated, nor do I even know that these are lymph node locations!
I am fighting to take some of my own very good advice - its not cancer until the biopsy says it is, don't let cancer steal today, try to stay busy, get in to see the doctor asap (emails despatched today), etc, etc. Now I just wish that one of those pieces of advice made my gut quit clenching!!!
Hugs to all
Donna
Oh Donna, Im so very sorry you have another scare. Every single time everything is going smoothly something just has to mess it up. Please try your very best not to panic, it only makes it harder on you. Keep repeating to yourself... sometimes a lump is just a lump! First thing Monday morning, make an appointment to get this checked out. Keep us posted.
(((HUGS)))
I remember you, Donna, from my first times on this site. Seems strange for the cancer to come back after such a long time so I'm hoping it is just some other bodily aberration. I identify with every word you write because I go through the same feelings with every ulcer, lump and bump. It's Monday afternoon here now so hope it is close to when you can talk to a doctor or nurse.
Thinking of you!!!
Regards
Maureen
So sorry to see you post in such a fright. Good advice to take - your own. Make an appointment on Monday and get it checked out. Make every day count and every good day is a happy and worry free one, right?
I have an appointment for next Monday. That is the earliest I could get and I suppose it is a good thing that a week should be allowed to pass in case it is just swollen lymph nodes due to a mild cold or some such innocuous thing. Thanks all - I always know I can rely on your support when I have lost my way Hugs. Donna
Oh my goodness, Donna - So glad you have that appointment for next Monday. I go thru those "lumps and bumps" feelings too and it's my son that had the OC! Try to stay away from the "what-ifs" because they may never happen and it could be just some minor thing. Sometimes the L & B's we notice are like what we say about "If a sore in your mouth last longer than two weeks, then see an ENT". Could be the same with the L & B's and it might just go away even before next Monday! Sending positive vibes for good news coming your way!
HI, Donna,
Just wanted to say that I am sorry you are going through the stress of this new thing. What a humongous drag! I am sending you my bestest thoughts and prayers. Like you, I have not posted here much either lately. Don't know a lot of new folks but there are a lot of us oldies who still peek in from time to time.
Since completing your treatment, you have been living your life. Good for you! You never let fear paralyse you before. Keep on kickin' ass!
Hugs my dear... It is possible you have a bit of an infection or irritation you aren't aware of so I am sticking with that as an explanation, and crossing my fingers it's nothing. blessings to you that you get good news!!!!
So sorry you are going through this! I feel your pain as I am having some suspicious nodes looked at on Wednesday. Hopefully both of ours will end up being nothing to worry about. I am distracting myself by eating my favorite foods and watching some movies I've been putting off seeing. Basically doing whatever the heck I want. Hugs and prayers to you.
Hi Donna,
So sorry you are going through another cancer scare again. It's nearly 10 years since my first diagnosis and 5 years since the second and I still became a basket case if I notice anything unusual. How can you not?
I'm glad you have a doctor appointment on Monday and I pray that the lumps are just that. Hugs and good vibes heading your way!
Had my appointment and CT is being ordered. Ours is a teaching hospital so examination by "fellow/resident" revealed two enlarged lymph nodes but he said they are less than 1 cm which he felt was quite small. He advised that most cancerous lymph nodes are apparently greater than 1 cm. Or, maybe it is just early.
Regardless, CT has been requested and I have advised that I am available for cancellations or any available opening - regardless of the time of day or night. (Our CT machines run 18 hours/day). Hearing that they ARE lymph nodes was not good. Hearing that it is early was.
I don't know if there is any curative treatment that they can do anymore. They keep telling me one step at a time. I have a hard time hearing that because my mind has jumped WAY WAY ahead of that.
I know this negative thinking is bad - I just don't know how to make it stop.
Hugs
Donna
Pandora99
After reading your post I wanted to reach out and wish you the best in your upcoming Ct Scan. Try not to stress your self out to much. Hopefully you will get some good results and all that worry was nothing.
Good luck
Heidi
Hello Donna, this is still a time of uncertainty and I do know that this is scary.
I would be somewhat reassured by the Fellow and his opinion on the Lymph nodes. I guess the CT is to exclude any new tumour causing spread to the Lymphs. I also think that it is good news that he did not find/feel a mass.
So, " Don't borrow sorrow from tomorrow ".
Take one day at a time and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Tammy
I want to endorse what Heidi and Tammy have written. My heart goes out to you. I'm also glad to hear about the good signs.
My favourite nurse at Auckland Hospital said 'one step at a time'. It's so true, isn't it? If you can stop you mind racing ahead, you will be able to get through the days before your CT results. Do something nice for yourself. A good book, music, meal, movie ... Take your mind off the constant static at the back of it saying 'what if?'
All my powerful be well vibes are zooming your way.
Nodes are persnickety little shits. Hopefully you have a bit of an infection and nothing more. It's winter. People get the flu or just feel under the weather without actually being actively sick. And Look at PAULB - he's had numerous recurrences and retreatments. So in the unlikely event that it is cancer - there's always the potential to do something. Proton therapy? a bit more rads... etc... HUGS and Heads up!!!
CT test last night - I studied hard for it! I expect to hear from my doctor in the next couple of days. Lord give me PATIENCE!!! That is a quality I have always wanted to have but have yet to acquire.
Donna
Im waiting (patiently) with you for good news. Please keep us posted.
Thinking of you Donna and sending many positive thoughts your way.
Tammy
Call them today. They should have the results. Most have them within hours. Stop the suffering!!! hugs!
WHOO HOO......ALL CLEAR. Sometimes a lump (or two or three) - is just a lump! Thank you all for indulging me in my panic and your care and prayers. They obviously worked!
Hugs
Donna
So happy for your great news, Donna! Now go do a happy dance and maybe even eat some chocolate!
Awesome, I'm glad to hear that it's clear!
Excellent news my friend
Sorry that you have had all this worry over the last couple of weeks Donna!
So happy to read that it is JUST A LUMP.
Time to relax and enjoy 2015 and maybe attack some more bucket list items
Sending lots of love....Gabriele
Great news. I love the all clear!
There you go. Fantastic news. Enjoy life.
Tammy
YAYS!!!!! can i say i told you so??? hugs. so glad!!