When I think of the people who helped me through the caregiver journey, you all come to mind.
A year ago this weekend... I got the news from our hospice aid that she heard the dreaded 'rattle' and that time was close... Tuesday will be a year since Matt passed. The emotions are all just as raw, just as painful... only a little bit deeper under the surface. I suppose time just adds to the layers, but it doesn't seem to go away.


And I love you all.

Christine

Hi Christine, I followed Matts and your story closely. What an inspirational caregiver you were. What a courageous woman you are too.
I hope that life can once again become joyous for you and your family.
Tammy

So glad that you check in from time to time. I know this coming week will be very hard. Sending hugs and strength.

Deb

I felt a sense of relief after getting to the one year anniversary - no more firsts! Of course there will still be firsts with our daughter but no more major holidays, etc. A year ago you never imagined you would get through but you have and will continue to with Matt's help from above. I am sure he is proud of you!

i am going through all my firsts and every one is difficult, trying to put my life back together without my husband joel who passed away in july 2012. try staying busy and know he would want me to pull myself up and keep on going, that is the voice inside my head when i am feeling down, and surrounding myself with family and friends helps.my heart goes out to you all who are struggling the same as i am.

So sorry for all of you.

Love you too Christine. So glad we can follow each other on FB. Will be thinking about you these next few days...a little more than usual.
Blessings my sister!!
Kathy

Hi, Christine.

I'm sorry I'm late in reading this thread. I can hardly believe that it has been just over a year after Matt's passing. I think of you often.

Please keep coming back when you feel you are able.

I hope each day brings some peace, joy, and comfort.

Love,
Kerri

My heart goes out to you all. It is excruciating to lose someone you love. hugs to each and everyone of you.

Christine, I think of you often as Matt passed away just after my John. Our journeys were so similar. I do come back here sporadically but it does make it hard, remembering everything we went through, and reading the others posts. All I can say is I continue to take one day at a time, as John would want. You no doubt have learned to do the many things Matt would take care of. You put one foot in front of the other and go on each day. All those 'firsts' will happen and you WILL endure them. Hug your family and be the strong woman you are deep down. There are many of us that are walking this path right alongside you.
Peace and love

Dear Christine,

I still think fondly of you and wonder how you are doing. I lost about a year of consistent posting/viewing on this forum due to treatment for a second round almost a year ago. Thank goodness, I just had a clear scan.

I just remember how incredibly hard you worked to keep it all together. I have to give you and all of the other caregivers out there so much credit. I often think of what it would be like if the roles were reversed, and as crazy as it may sound, I think I'd rather be the patient (if I had to chose).

My point is that I am happy to see that you are still coming back, whether it is to help others or to help yourself, or a little of both. I know how difficult all of these "firsts" can be after losing my father. As someone mentioned, you will endure them and each passing year may take the sting away, but sometimes 11 years goes by and you end up having a bad day, but you get over it.

Please keep coming back. We all love you here! I hope life is turning around for you and that you are able to take care of yourself and your kids. You need some pampering and letting others do some kind things for you.

Love in OCF,
Kerri

Hi folks, been a long time since I've posted on here. I am still here but of course as you all know Ron is gone...well actually he is in our bedroom on his nightstand! I think of him everyday and every minute of the day. I do miss him but so glad he's not in pain anymore. I wish like everybody else that I could have had 1 more day and then one more and one more...but he is at peace now. Crazy guy he was. I still talk to him and when I need help with something I ask him and he does help me figure things out and keep my head level. Thank God for my kids and family and my friends they are a big help being around. It's hard but I'm doing good! Take care everybody!

Hey Suez,

Saw you post on FB and was glad that you were ok. Thanks for checking in and we all hope that the coming days bring good things for you.

Deb