Hi everyone. I am a 40 year old female who was dx with scc of the tongue 1/07. Surgury 2/07, RT x30 and chemo thru 6/07 and have just finished HBOT and dental surgury. I never knew about this foundation or I would have been here a long time ago. I am looking for suggestions on how to live long-term after cancer dx and getting past just living from one check up to another every three months. My husband and I would love any suggestions.

I'm keepin an eye on my mouth and looking to the future!

We HEAR you! Boy, do we hear you...lol. This is one place where we all struggle with exactly the same issues you are going through and, personally, I think the only "magic answer" to your dilema is to keep connected here - with this OCF fammily - who will keep you grounded, hold your hand when you are worried (and worry with you), reassure you and rejoice in great test results.

How to live long term after cancer.......... mmmmmmm...... thinking (yes, David a rareity). This is such a cliche I hate to say it, but I do think you live "better" after cancer. You live more appreciatively, more aware, more awake. You don't waste the Mondays that everyone hates and you aren't looking for the week to zoom by so that its Friday. You truly do appreciate each day, and maybe alot of the smaller things that others overlook in their hurry to make time go by faster.

I'm rambling, but will just say welcome and glad you posed the question!

Donna

As a surviving spouse i think i will pass on your question,but welcome to OCF.

liz

The first year is really hard- just being anxious about making sure everything is gone and going through the treatments and recovering from the assault on your body. The 2nd year gets easier. I will be celebrating 2 years from my surgery tommorrow. Never would I have thought I'd be going out to celebrate with my husband and sister and brother in law- but that is what we will be doing just that tommorrow. This past year has all about getting back in shape and getting my life back. Its been amazing. I'm so happy and thankful I survived and recovered as well as i did. i didn't knwo how far I could go to getting back to the old me- I definitely have things I can't do but I've gotten so much back.


So just be patient and take each day as it comes and keep pressing forward. You are doing great. Hang in there!!!

KATE

That was very well said Kate and easily understood.

Welcome to OCF. Glad you have found this site, its always nice to have survivors join. Im sure your knowledge will help many others.

Your question is a good one, its one we all think of. I do everyday. All I can say is that it has stopped me from being a procrastinator. I dont put things off for tomorrow anymore, I know tomorrow I might not feel up to whatever I was putting off. I also try to have a positive attitude and more patience towards others. I consider myself very lucky even though I struggle daily with the after effects of cancer. Im still here and try to make the most of everyday.

Exactly Christine,

When asked if Cancer changed my outlook on life that is the one thing I can point at. A complete intollerance for politics, wasted time and meetings that result in nothing more than a plan to have more meetings and planning to plan a plan.

My cartoon schedule, watching trees grow and public service suffers when my time is wasted and many don't understand why I am pushing. Silly people LOL


Get er done!

UncleVern

Glad to see an introduction from a survivor and welcome to OCF. Part of getting on with the new normal is the love, support and humor that I get from the people here for me. I don't feel so abnormal here because I can usually find someone who has a suggestion to what ever is on my mind.

I don't stress too much from check up to check. Don't get me wrong, I still pay attention and watch for the warning signs. I'm elated with good news, but I don't feel that I approach each appointment expecting the worst. Even at the check up that included the biopsy for my recurrence when my ENT entered the exam room and asked how I was I just looked at her and said "I think we have a problem".

So many things that used to bother me in life do not any more. I almost have a "Cay Sa Ra, Sa Ra" attitude now. I was type A++++, but not any more. If I would rather take the dogs and go sit by the creek for the entire day than wash clothes, I do it. There is more peace in my life now which probably seems strange to some.

Patty

PC,

Firstly you are only 1 year post Tx and most of us continue to recover from the Tx alone for 2 + years so calm down a bit. Your body both physically and mentally have been through a lot in the past 1 1/2 years so please give everything time to adjust and to heal. I will guarantee you by this time next year you won't have the same thoughts or concerns as you do now, I know I didn't.

You never said what was the suspected cause of your cancer. Tobacco, HPV or the Head Scratcher? If you used tobacco I certainly hope you don't now. If it was HPV you can PM me for my X rated suggestions. If it was the Head Scratcher then I have no idea.

Try and keep a positive attitude and try to get back to your normal life as quickly as possible.

Good girl there Good1. You have the right outlook. I am like you, I never stress out for an appointment, I just take them like a duck going into a lake. Keep up the good work and don't lose your smile.

Patty,
You got it. AFter losing my husband to brain cancer when I was
24-and now at 56- a 2 year survivor of oral cancer myself, my motto
is "if you are not in the hospital or terminally ill or not in jail for some reason, then you can fix everything else" It sounds so crude but it is true. Now I have never been in jail yet and I hope never, but it's bound to be the same as the hospital.
Let's go fishing when we can, laugh when we can, and try to remember not to be so serious about the small stuff.

Let's try to keep reminding each other because it is HARD to
remember.
Debbie

Hi Partlycloudy!

It is a challenge, isn't it, moving forward. I'm now an 18-year survivor or lymphoma and an almost 1-year survivor of oral cancer. The most important thing for me is to keep looking forward. Rehashing missteps of the past, and the what-ifs that follow, are mostly pointless unless you use that exercise to make positive changes in your life. Also, I've tried to reconnect with the things that I've loved in my life - camping, bird-watching and other outdoor activities nurture my soul and feed my mind. I try to live simply, have good people in my life and focus on moving forward one step at a time.

- Margaret

Debbie, you just moved close to the top of my most admired list. You are a fighter and will win out with that fishing rod and reel.

The worrying is the hardest part. The comfort I found from this site is so amazing. I'm really happy you found this site, it is like a little (or big actually) family. The kindness and understanding of the people here brings a tear to my eye.

Along with this site, I go to a therapist to discuss my feelings and issues. That has been a huge help to me. I wish you much luck. I would also suggest keeping a close circle of supporters who know what you have been through. We all need to vent sometimes!!