My boyfriend George woke up one day with a swollen gland -went to doc-had it removed-came back as cystic squamous cell carcinoma. then had biopsys from esophagus and up to find the primary site. Found very eary stage 1 in tonsil area (his tonsils were removed as a kid). his pet came back clean that is why they did the biopsy scopes. he is now getting 35 radiation treaments and erbitux/cisplatin every thursday for 7 weeks. they are not blasting him with the usual 2 huge doses once every 3 weeks. because he has 50% hearing loss in his rite ear and the Cisplatin can make it worse so they found that the small doses make it better.no neck dissection.His oncologist, RO, ear nose and throat oncologist and another oncologist all said that it was treatable and curable. my question is, is that the truth? Do they really tell you the best and worst case senerio? Does anyone out there have the same thing? I have been reading everyone 's
posts and everyone seems to be more informed than us . I did post a great treament for a SEVERE reaction from erbitux on the treatment page that the doc gave george that kept him from quitting all treatment. he went for his second round of chemo yesterday and we have our fingers crossed that these meds can overide this nasy poisen he is getting.
best wishes to everyone and sorry for rambling,
jayann (CG)

I think that the doctors are honest and would not say that a condition is curable if that is not the case. That is my experience and the experience of another member of my family who has a different type of cancer from me. I hope that is some help and I wish your boyfriend all the best for a swift recovery.

THANKS,
I JUST READ A LOT OF CASES WHERE IT COMES BACK AND A FEW PEOPLE DIDN'T THINK THAT WOULD HAPPEN. I GUESS I'M JUST LOOKING FOR THAT MAGIC ANSWER THAT WE ALL WANT TO HEAR. THE REALITY OF THIS HAS NOT REALLY SUNK IN FOR EITHER ONE OF US. MAKES YOU RETHINK A LOT OF THINGS. YOU WAKE UP WITH A SIMPLE SWOLLEN GLAD AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU HAVE CANCER.
WE ARE STILL IN THE "WHAT IF" AND "ARE YOU SURE?" STAGE. I AM GLAD YOU AR OK!

The lack of symptoms before a cancer diagnosis is not that unusual, unfortunately. My husband had a mild sore throat and it turned out to be stage 4. We were where you are now a year ago and I desperately wanted that magic answer. It took me a long time to hear what people were telling me - that no one can give you absolute guarantees.

The good news is that once you get thru the shock stage, you do settle into the new reality. If you are being told this is treatable and there's a good chance of a cure then that's based on what those doctors have seen in their clinical practice with similar situations. It's also the best answer you are going to get.

Everyone is afraid of the cancer coming back. There is not one survivor I know that doesn't think about it. The key is to find a context that you can live with on a day to day basis. That fear was so raw and constant in the beginning that it dominated my every waking moment. Now it comes and goes and it's balanced against the good moments that we are still having.

The thing is it will bother you until it doesn't anymore. It's personal and there's no shortcut to feeling your own pain at a situation that sucks. Try not to get ahead of whatever information that you have at the moment and pace yourself for a long haul. Survival is a process and there are times when you'll just backslide into a big old pity party. So what. The important thing is to keep going. If you do that the rest sort of falls into place.

Regards JoAnne

JoAnne makes some really good points. It's true, we all go thru the shock stage - even the caregivers - but we do settle into the "new reality". It seems easier once you get into a routine i.e. going to rad treatments, appointments, phone calls, charting medications and food, etc. Once you have a plan and can start fighting the cancer, it helps you to feel more in control - the anxious moments are not quite as raw and the good moments are appreciated more and more. You may read a a lot of cases where the cancer does come back, but you can also read a lot of those that do not come back. So the "what ifs" can also be "what if it does not come back". . . and this helps you to enjoy the "now" and all the special good moments that come your way. Jayann, it does sound like your boyfriend is getting very good care and the doctors sound encouraging, too, so, keep hanging on to the good parts and to each other, and keep coming back here and let us know what's happening.

I am less than one year post Tx and think about recurrence from time to time. The thought of it cannot be totally ignored nor can you let it consume you. I have found the thought that at least seems to work for me. I look at like if there is a recurrence it will be caught at a very early stage to where it can be dealt with. I just remind myself of that every time recurrence seeps into my daily activities.

Bill D.

YOU ARE ALL SO NICE AND ENCOURAGING! THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
JAYANN

Hey Jayann !

You will be hard pressed to find any more straight up people than cancer specialists. If they say its curable, go with that and be happy !

The only things I could pry out of my oncologist were "Its a serious cancer John....." and "You had better get your affairs in order."

I could not believe what I was hearing, and I know I should have taken it a lot more seriously than I did.

But I still had lots of things to do in my life, and decided I would rather fight the cancer than accept the consequences if I lost the battle.

That may not make a lot of sense, but few things do make sense with cancer.

Surviving this horrible disese is everyone's goal, and with today's treatment planning combined with dedicated, caring health professionals, the expectations of success are encouraging, realistic and obtainable.

I put all my faith in the team of specialists who rallied for my cause, and followed their every instruction to the letter. I set one primary goal, and that was to complete all 3 Cisplatin chemotherapy treatments (I had heard that many patients have difficulty completing all treatments due to low energy, extreme nausea and other side effects). I did not want to fall short in this department; how effective would only 2 tx be ? Would I only be 2 thirds successful ?

I know its hard sometimes to stay focused, but focused you must stay. As others have indicated, you will settle into a more comfortable headspace with the passage of time. But don't become complacent - stay sharp and stay motivated to kill cancer 24/7.

One positive outcome of cancer for me was a finer appreciation of other people and how important the gift of life really is. The relationship I share with my wife has been joyfully enhanced as well, and not just because of her support which was rock solid. I wanted to be a better husband which meant I needed some extra time on the planet to satisfy that objective. I still have a ways to go, but it has turned out to be an impressive motivator......

I wish you every success in the battle. Email or message me should you ever want a sounding board or need to talk something through.

Kindest regards,
JT2