My fiance was diagnosed with stage four esophageal cancer after going to a doctor because of a sore back. A tumor was found in the third lumbar vertebrae that had shattered it and caused nerve pressure (dont know about nerve damage yet). He had surgery to remove the tumor and repair the spine- but the more we find out, the worse it gets. He has esophageal cancer in all three sections of the throat, at the base of he stomach, in the liver, and in the left neck lymph nodes (2 nodules). They have already told us it is not curable but is treatable (he had no other symptoms except a cough that we thought was allergies and the back pain) and has started chemo and radiation. All in all, we are fighting with all that we have.

What experiences has others had with this disease in this stage? I can not bear to lose him especially after waiting so long to find the person of my dreams to share my life with- got proposed to and then found out that he has a fatal disease that has always scared me- that "C" word that my family is prone to having...I dont know how I am going to handle this and right now, prayer seems to be my only answer...

He has had one chemo treatment and three radiation treatments. He has three more chemo treatments and 17 more radiation treatments (for his back is the radiation- the chemo is for the blood stream... they will then decide how to fight the esophageal cancer itself). Any help will be greatly appreciated....Just wishing for a miracle to happen right now.

WOW! You both have quite a lot on your plates! I do not have advice. I just wanted to saya that you are welcome here, and that it seems that most people on this site value the prayers of others, so I will include you and your fiance in my prayers. I hope they give you both strength to fight this monster!

The stage is not as important to focus on as his response to treatment, and that varies a lot. I would encourage you both to make a list of your questions before every visit to pin down the specifics of what they are saying. What does treatable mean to them? What options are they offering you following the chemo radiation? I would want to know where they think this is going.

Is he being treated in a comprehensive cancer facility? There is a link to those on the home page of this website. No matter what the treatment recommendation is, it's good to get an explanation of the pros and cons. You can also get second opinions to see if there are other treatments or clinical trials being conducted.

Remember that no two cancers are exactly the same and that the treatment can change based on the response of the patient and overall health issues. My husband and I like to be proactive and be told every detail, but not everyone wants that. It's a personal comfort level rather than a right or wrong approach. I do want to stress the need to tell the medical team every symptom or concern he's having so they know where you're coming from and so they adjust the treatments accordingly.

Do you have good support from family and friends? I'm sorry to hear about your fiance and I think you can only take it one day - or moment - at a time right now.
Regards JoAnne

Dear llTJ70, [is that right?]. As a caregiver, you will have a full plate ? Are you ready? [dumb question, because none of us really is]. Please read the "getting through it" posts here-they will help you both to formulate a "battle plan". And please remember that we will support you in any way possible. Just ask! [p.s. could we have a nickname or something to address our posts to you?] Amy in the Ozarks

I am sorry Amy- I am Lisa from NC.

Am I ready? I dont think I was ever ready to even think of caring for someone with cancer- but as for loving him... I do, more than I ever thought I would love someone. I have never ran away from a challenge and I have had many in my life, and I dont want to run away from this one. I hope and pray that we can beat this thing, but if not- we will at least spend as much time as possible together. As for a battle plan, we are living each day one day at a time right now, but I know we are going to have to make some major decisions together. WE have talked about some decisions and are waiting for the results of the first baseline results to make others.
I will check out the getting it through posts- any help is appreciated...

Stick with us Lisa, In the last 2 years, I have had 100's of supporting, comforting and helpful posts, private messages and e-mails from people in this organization. This group cares and shares.
Amy