Hello all,

My brother, just 50 years old, has gone through 4 months of the oral cancer experience: neck surgery June 8th, 12 back teeth removed, 6 chemos & 33 daily radiations ending Sept. 5th. It's probably stage 3/4 cancer, due to decades of smoking and some drinking.....

John says depression is the worst symptom now; "it comes in waves...."

I guess it's all relative considering what he's been through since late May. He says he's withdrawing from Oxycotin, from 30 to 40 pills per day, John says, to 5 or 6 now, and the depression is from the radiation, not the Oxycotin.

His wife, Barbara, and extended family have been very supportive. I live in Salt Lake City, Utah, he lives in Spokane, Washington.

I'd appreciate some feedback, opinions, advice please, whatever you can offer, that might help him.

Thank you,
Judy

Hi, Judy,

I really can't say that I'm an oral cancer yet. Stupid me saw that my one tonsil was changing going back almost a year ago, but I didn't really think anything about it. Then, on the 25th of Sept. I noticed a lymph node on my neck and on the same side of the tonsil had become quite swollen. So, to a dr. I went.

I get the tonsil removed (and who knows what else) on Tues. (the 3rd), and then will find out something on the 10th. I can't see having to wait a whole freakin' week, but I guess the lab people are kept quite busy. Still, I'll probably call on the 6th and annoy them with some questions.

Getting back to John's depression....Can't he get on something like Wellbutin XL (300 mgs.)? I'm very new on this board, and don't even know if I do have cancer. So, I really don't know what stage 3/4 cancer is.

Depression is so hard to define. It's different for every individual, and what works for one person, may not work for another. All I can say is it's great that he has family to support him. That goes a long way........

I hope John can find a somewhat peaceful state of mind somehow........

The Head Trainer will be with him all the way.........

Skywarn

Hi Skywarn,

Well, I hope you have good news soon from your tonsil removal on Sept.3rd, and you won't have to go through what my dear brother John has gone through.....

This week he's going to get the feeding tube taken out after it being in for about 2.5 months; he's pretty tough. I just hope to help him even though I'm so far away.

I've been sending him some information from this website too.

Anyway, good luck and let us all know what happens.... Take care, Judy

Hi Judy,

I know how he feels. But now he is just starting to heel. I thouhgt I was depressed also, but mainly i was fatigued. Tired all the time. However, the worst is over for him. Now he must try to get well from what they put him through. His treatmetn was very similar to mine. He should have his TSH (thyroid function) checked. His thyroid is probably fried. The meds for that will help with his energy level. Vitamin B12 also helps as does sea kelp.

Steve

Judy,

I have my husband on Wellbutrin 300mg daily and Lazerpam (Ativan) as well. I read an article in a head and neck cancer brochure that states depression in a patient with this type of cancer can be 30% higher than the average cancer patient. Often this can occur post treatment. Have a disscussion with a psychitrist if possible.
Best wishes.

Judy, Get him on this Board. He will definately benefit from other posters' similar feelings. He will not feel so alone. He will at least take comfort in knowing that what he is going through many others have been there and have come out of it. He may also find alternative meds, etc that may also help the physical side. The docs mainly treat our physical needs leaving many of us to handle our emotional needs which in my opinion are equally important. Just get him to try this Board.

Judy
I went thru the same May 18 2005. Depression
for me hit before I was done with the radiation.
This is a life style change, Im 54 and to change your life style that fast is depressing. We have reason to be angry, mad, pissed at the world.
Family members are the ones that had to listen to me, rant and rave. It was not fair to them.
Doctors and others treat the cancer, but no one tells us how to handle it, so we just fumble are way thru the best we know how. Im on Wellbutrin now, it does help some, but like my 15 year old boy tells his mother, Dads cries alot.
The best thing I found is talking to others that have gone thru it. Being active, don,t sit around because we just think about it, will it come back do I have go thru it again, all sorts of thoughts. My neck does not look bad, but it feels like someone is choking me all the time, so I thinking it looks bad, not sure if that makes any sense. My right arm, does not go up and down like it use to.
I have had good check ups since, and glad to be here, but it taking some getting use to being disabled. I hope this helps

Depression can be a very real consequence of this disease and its treatment. Grief, regret and anger over what is lost. Fear of what may come. Indignation and anger at having to adjust to an unfair 'new normal'. The good news is that depression is treatable. As difficult as it is, we must rise up out of the self-pity and get on with life. Nobody, but nobody, gets through this life without pain and suffering. It's a losing proposition, in my opinion, to play the comparison game-there will always be someone seemingly better off, or worse off than me.