Welcome to OCF! Im so sorry to hear about your daughter's oral cancer (OC) diagnosis! You have found the very best place to get info and support to help you nd your daughter get thru whatever path she takes. There have been other young people that have been thru this. Being young is actually to your daughters advantage, she should recover faster than an older person.
The best thing you can do to help your daughter is to focus on what is within your control. One of the most important things will be her intake. Every single day from now thru at the very least she hits her first year after finishing whatever treatment she has she will need to take in a minimum of 2500 calories and 48-64 oz of water. If your daughter is on the average or slim side, she may want to up that to 3000 calories or more on a daily basis. Anyone who is slim or average going into this will definitely want to gain a few extra pounds. I know most young women do NOT want even one extra pound but weight loss during treatments is NOT a good thing, its a sign shes starting to struggle. No matter what her treatment plan will be, she will likely encounter some eating issues from surgery or radiation treatments. I do tend to nag people about this, sorry!!! Most patients (myself included) do not fully understand the importance their intake plays in how easily they get thru the upcoming treatments. The better they do with hitting their daily minimums , the easier this will be.
Most people are good hearted and truly want to help when someone they know gets a cancer diagnosis, often they just do not know what to do. When people offer their assistance, take down their name and contact info on a list. Down the road having people that can help both you and your daughter will be a huge relief. Theres a million things that can be done to make this a little easier on your daughter and on you as her caregiver. Things like cooking a meal for your family, mowing the yard, driving her to appointments, walking the dog, picking up prescriptions, taking a "shift" to stay with your daughter if shes in the hospital will give you a break, etc can be very helpful.
As a parent, I can not imagine how difficult this is on you. I cant imagine how upsetting this is to watch your child go thru. Make certain you take breaks to get away once in a while. Even if you go out to a movie, out to lunch with a friend or take a short walk it will give you much needed time to think clearly and catch your breath. Being a caregiver is a tough job and can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Our members have been where you are and understand what you are going thru. Its not an easy road but it is doable, especially when you have us in your corner to help you and your daughter.
Prior to starting any kind of treatment, your daughter should see the dentist for a thorough check up. If she will get radiation treatments she will need the dentist to make flouride trays. Make sure her oncologist also orders a full blood panel including thyroid levels (men also need testosterone levels) before she begins any treatment. Also a second opinion may be a good idea, especially if you can get her to a comprehensive cancer center (CCC). A CCC is where all the specialists get together to create a treatment plan at a tumor board meeting. Working with a team based approach ensures everyone is on the same page. CCCs have proven to have better outcomes than smaller regional facilities.
Reading about oral cancer will help to make you a strong advocate for your daughter. You will find many stories here which can be both scary and full of hope. On the main OCF site, there are tons of topics covered with correct, current medical info. Feel free to ask questions, we'll always do our best to help.
Best wishes!!
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