Hello to all of you. First let me say after spending a month on here just reading I am in awe of the support you give each other. You are all truly amazing people.

My post is somewhat of a venting session since nothing has been diagnosed yet but I am scared and nervous. In July I got my first left-sided sore throat. Not a typical one like we are all used to but a deeper pain, like its in between my tonsil and inner ear. Went away within a few days. Came right back. Went away. Came right back. This has been going on until about a month ago when it was worse and hasn't left. At this time I also started feeling like I couldn't get the lump in my throat swallowed. Feels like something is touching the back of my tongue. Decided at that time to actually use a flashlight and not my phone. My left tonsil is bigger and has almost red streak like things in it like it is bleeding on the inside and underneath it there is tissue that is connected to my arch that appears to be going down my throat. Called and made appointment with ENT who couldn't see me until November 14.

Called regular doctor who saw me two days ago because the ear pain has been progressing and I have a marble size hard lump in the side of my neck just below ear. She gave me an antibiotic but said she doesn't know what it is. She said the tissue under the tonsil actually goes down the back of my throat but she couldn't tell how far because of my gag reflex. She said she wanted to get blood work started so I could have it for the ENT and also so we would know whether it was an infection from WBC. She ordered CBC, BMP, lipids, C-reactive protein and LDH to get a better idea of what the swollen lymph node could be. Oh and a cholesterol at my request. She said she would call and let me know the results. Office called today to tell me that my results are in but the doctor would like to see me to discuss them. The earliest appointment they have is for Monday I was crying and told her nurse that I can't wait until Monday could she at least give me the results of the LDH and C-reactive protein since that was for the lymph node. All she kept saying was that the doctor would like to see me and all she could tell me was that my cholesterol was high. After pleading she put me on hold to talk to the doctor and came back and all she would give me is my cholesterol. Now I have to wait all weekend in panic mode. Why do doctors do this? Has anyone ever been told they can't have results and everything be normal when they went in to talk to the physician?

Ps. I am a female 37..will be 38 on Tuesday and I smoke and have also been diagnosed with HPV 18 and 16 about 6 years ago. I have started Chantix to quit smoking as I never want to put myself through this stress again. I wish I had never started

Wow... I hear you. I am surprised your drs secretary was so uncaring. Can I be honest? It's scary that she is insistent on having you in, but nothing of value (with regards to oral cancer) can be found in bloodwork. So in this regard you shouldn't worry too much. What I would do based on what you said is call today and ask to be referred to an ENT - one who is very familiar with oral cancer, he would be able to scope you immediately and see if there is anything present that is out of sight, and if there is, a biopsy would be in order - that is the only way to get a confirmed DX of cancer. Don't wait - make the call put your mind at ease - hugs!

Cheryl...thank you so much for responding Because I was so nervous I went to the office and got a copy of my results and it was only the cholesterol that was bad....thank goodness. The doctor then called to chastise me for going in there. Oh well I will find a new doctor. There is a mass below my tonsil which is what brought me to my regular scoot to begin with. I see the ENT on Friday. It has only been nerve racking because of the constant ear pain and having to wait so long since I made the ENT appointment over a month ago and that was the earliest. It is just scary when you are stupid and have smoked for so long and you know something isn't right when you look in your throat and have pain. There are so many things such as just needing the tonsil to be removed that it could be. I know cancer isn't the only one.

Again, thank you so much for your time and responding to me

Hi Samantha

The worst moment for me was when the doctor called me. He called me late in the afternoon and said the news was bad, I had cancer and it had already spread to my lymph nodes. That night was pretty sleepless, lots of futile Googling and worry. He wanted to see me first thing the next morning. The next morning I was with him for a whole hour, talking about a wide range of things. It was very early in the diagnosis and he didn't know all the answers either. That was when I first learned that there is no one magic answer from the doctor.

Thats why the doctor wants to see you. She has to explain to you that whatever the condition is, it is an investigation she has to walk you through. Its not a purple line on a test kit. If it is cancer there is a lot of work to do investigating where it is, the staging, the best treatment and only then do you get any idea of prognosis.

I can tell you one thing for certain, without imaging and a biopsy she will not tell you you have cancer on Monday. I'm surprised you can make an ENT appointment without a referral, you can't here. But I wouldn't panic about that timeframe. If your doctor thinks its cancer you will need some imaging and a biopsy and by the time you get those done the 14th wont be that far away.

Don't beat yourself up about the smoking. We know it will kill us, but we tell ourselves there is plenty of time to quit. We do deals with ourselves. I'll quit by 30. Or by 40. Or by 50. And then suddenly we realise we've run out of time. Quitting smoking when you are facing an enormously stressful and uncertain time is very hard. But it is one of the few things you can control right now. Don't waste time looking back, its water under the bridge. Vent here all you like, there will usually be someone somewhere in the world online to respond to you.

Hi Dave! We can make appointments out here without referral depending on the insurance you carry. Mine happens to be a good one turns out the doctor only wanted to tell me that my cholesterol was bad I will be finding a new doctor right away. I know blood tests don't show cancer anyway. It is just scary when you are told we need to see you instead of being given results over the phone. I am so glad to see your PET scan was all clear. What a relief that must have been. My stepdad just got an all clear from his throat cancer as well. His was the larynx. Took him over a year to find someone to listen to him. I will post after my ENT appointment this Friday.

There is common saying "It's not cancer until proven" and that can only be done via biopsy. You just need to make that your mantra. No biopsy - no cancer! The anxiety is very common so don't feel at all like you are being a wimp or odd one out.

Good luck.
Don