Please help me to help my dad.
My dad found out he had cancer in mid July this year 2013. The doctors informed that its just 1month old, and so treatment started right away. Radiation started from September untill November, the doctors said he is fine now just one final checkup in mid December and they will let him know if he is 100% fine now, that's a good thing but what worries me and mom is that everyday dad is in alot of pain he keeps going on moaning. Not only that he is angry all the time he wont talk to us at all he just keeps to himself and he wont eat as well, we just don't know what should we do? What medecine should i give dad to ease the pain? My mom cries everytime as dad just wont eat anything. And what worries us the most is that he takes this pain killer we had earlier like chocolates he finished 20 whole tabs in 4days. Please can someone suggest what can i do to help my dad

Welcome to OCF. We will help you with your father. Im so sorry he is in bad shape. Treatments are brutal and recovery can take months.

You dont mention where his tumor was located. Are you in the US? Every country differs in their medical system and ways to treat patients.

As an OC patient Im surprised your father is able to swallow pills. Pain killers can be very large and difficult to swallow. I would suggest making an appointment with the doctor and letting them know he is in so much discomfort. There are many kinds of pain medications to help him, some are liquid and some are a patch which gets changed every 3 days.

His intake is the key to his recovery. Every single day he needs to take in a minimum of 2500 calories and 48 oz of water, more is even better. He will feel horrible if his nutrition isnt even close to the above numbers. This is necessary to rebuild his body after what he has been thru.

Many OC patients will talk with therapists and take anxiety meds. Your father has been thru alot and its not easy to get past this mentally. I would suggest seeking out someone at the treatment center for him to talk to.

Best wishes with everything!

I'm sorry for your troubles, and welcome to OCF. Your father's behavior sounds like many other cancer patients going through or have completed treatments, although, any pain should be mentioned to the doctor to rule out a new cancer, secondary or remaining cancer. I don't know what pain meds your father is on, but check the WHO Pain Ladder, and discuss them with his doctor. If I get a chance, I'll post later. There is no reason for him to be in pain, if pain medications, anti-inflammatory, nerve meds, can be of a relief. Other conditions cause pain too, so it's probably multifactoral, like mucocitis, thrush, inflammation, ulcers, dry mouth, other infections, which need to be treated appropriately, impeccable oral care, rinses, foods that are not hot, spicy, acidic, sharp textured.

Good luck with everything.

He doctors say there's no tumor. The thing is he is also diabetic and dad says in his mouth there are cut marks which burn when he tries to eat or drink. Thank you for the feed back on the intake of calories, we didn't know about it, we will make sure that we do check on it. Its really tough to decide on what to prepare for dad because of the diabetes.

Was your father diagnosed with oral cancer?

Almost everyone who goes thru radiation treatments for oral cancer will get mouth sores also known as mucositis. Radiation burns the sensitive mouth tissue. This can take many weeks to heal. Your fatehr should be rinsing his mouth several times per day with a mixture of 16 oz warm water, 2 tsp baking soda and 2 tsp salt. If the salt burns too much, omit it or better yet cut it back to 1 tsp. Salt water will help to heal the mouth sores so try really hard to get him to tolerate some salt in the mixture. Also he can ask for magic mouthwash which will help to numb his mouth long enough for him to eat. It doesnt last very long (20-30 minutes) but it will give him some relief.

Being your father is diabetic, make sure you check everything with his doctors. There are nutritional drinks like ensure, boost and some other brands that have special formulas for diabetic patients. Sorry but I am unsure what each specific brand carries.

Diabetes delays healing, lowers the immune system, and can make you susceptible to infections. It could be thrush, a fungal infection, a viral infection or bacterial infection. They made need to culture it. If the salt burns, cut it out. Check foods that are low on the glycemic index to prepare.

Thank you all so much for your support and guidance. I just have one question to ask now
if the doctor's say that my dad is cured in this final checkup(which is in mid December) will the cancer come back that is the biggest fear, I just don't want my dad to go through all he has been again. The doctors did say that even after the final results he has to continue checkups for atleast 5years. Please give your expert opinion.

I don't think anyone can answer that. There are general survival, recurrence rates based on cancer, type, location, histology, etc. and can be best answered by your doctor. As my surgeon once told me, they have no crystal balls.

Good luck.

Im sorry Neisau, we are NOT experts. Our group is made up of cancer patients and caregivers, not medical professionals.

Sadly, anyone can have a recurrence at any time. As a cancer patient or caregiver, its all of our worst fear. During the first year the odds are the highest and they progressively decrease over time. Once a cancer patient hits the 5 year mark they are considered cured. But Ive also seen patients 10+ years out with a recurrence. You just never know. Best advice I can give is go on living life to the fullest and not to worry too much about "what if". None of us are promised a tomorrow, accidents happen every day and people get sick every day. Its best to live a healthy lifestyle and think positive.

Your father has a long road with his recovery. It can be a frustrating time, full of ups and downs. A complete recovery can stretch out for a full 2 years with the patient seeing small improvements along the way to about the 2 year point. Hang in there, in time he will be almost back to his old self.

Thank you once again we will do everything to keep dad happy. Thank you

That's all you, or anyone can do, beyond what you have already done, Neisau.

The unadorned truth, and it is the truth, is that no one has any guarantees in life. Not even your next breath is guaranteed. Reflect on this, and find Peace in it, for there is Peace is in that truth.

Hi Neisau, hope your father is doing fine. I understand you are from Nagaland, India. Could you please provide some information around where did your father had the treatment from, stage, course of treatment etc.

Your father will gradually recover from the treatment.