Hello everyone, I was on this site maybe a week before my surgery, may of 2009. I unfortunately decided not to log on again for fear. I was afraid to admit what I was facing. just celebrated my two year surgery anniversary on May 11, 2011. I also celebrated my two year and three day cancer free May 14, 2011. I was 42 when diagnosed with scc, I was a smoker, light alcohol, partial glossectomy, left neck dissection, peg, 7-09 IMRT, no chemo deemed neccessary. I also just finished HBO approx. two weeks ago. I suffered panick attacks and depression immediately following my radiation. I am still in thereapy and still on meds, pain and depression. I am trying like hell to get my life back, I have been online dating, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do!!!

Welcome to OCF. I think it's great that you found the will to open up about your issues. You are certainly not alone here when it comes to anxiety over everything from diagnosis to treatments and recurrences. Hopefully this very empathetic and giving group here will be a haven for you as you deal with things. While distance from the vent will certainly help you, to some extent (at least in my opinion) this will always be part of who you are. I am 12 years out, and still have fears and insecurities about much of it. I just try to take on each day as it comes and do the best I can with things. Some days are really worse than others, but there are plenty of good ones that make the fight totally worthwhile. Congratulations on your survival landmarks. I wish you many more to come.

Misty, welcome to OCF! Im glad that you have decided to join. You will find lots of help with any of your after effects. It will also help you to feel better about everything knowing you arent alone. We are all in this together and understand what you have gone thru and what you are still going thru. What helps me deal with my limitations is helping others on here. It feels good to give back! That might help you too.

Congrats on your 2 year anniversary!!!

Good luck with the online dating. I wish they had it when I was younger!

Sounds as if you have had similar surgery to me. I've had lots of operations in my lifetime but the glossectomy has been the most difficult, physically and emotionally.

On the plus side I look at my scarred wrist(now lighter in colour) and think about how much I talk each day as a part-time teacher and realise how far I've come in a year and a half.

You sound like a brave and honest person who will make a good catch for one of those lucky people online.

Hi and welcome!! I know it's terrifying always wondering did they get it all - did I make the right choices - but your 2 years out congratulations!!!

Congratulations. You've reached an important milestone and I applaud your courage. I also know how tough it can be to get your mind around all of this. We all go through it. But having come this far... don't give up now!

Any best of luck with the dating thing. I've dabbled in it without much success but I have friends who've done very well!

Thank you Brian, your kind words and welcome are so much appreciated!!!! I also forgot that I lost the whole left botton of my mouth, not sure what they call that. What really ticks me off is that my insurance is saying that implants (teeth) are considered reconstructive surgery. I'm fighting it, However, I'm devastated. I am 43 years old, single, attractive female. How am I supposed to work and date and eat? My doctors did a wonderful job, if I had my teeth, I would feel that I could finally move on and talk about all this in the past tense. Another part of me is ashamed that I am putting so much emphasis on my looks. I don't know if that makes me a vain and selfish individual, or if it's normal.

Be a bestfriend, never lie, and overuse I love you!!!

Hi! Congratulations on your two year milestone! It sounds like you have had a mandibulectomy? You are in good company on OCF since there are members here who have had that procedure and are generous with their understanding, support and guidance.

Handling the "business end" of this disease can be frustrating--insurance, providers, hospitals. I hope your insurance company allows your doctors to finish treating your oral cancer--to me, teeth should be considered part of the deal.

I don't think it would be normal if what you've been through didn't affect how you feel about your appearance. Please do not feel ashamed of those feelings. By doing just a little exploring in various places on the OCF forum, you'll find that your feelings are completely normal.

You have lots of spirit and such a great attitude, I'm sure you will be pushing oral cancer into the background in no time at all.

Take care!

Sandy

So I sent you a pm...but I didn't see that susan responded on here, which I thought was odd but she may have been too busy. I know someone else around your age that lives in staten island new york that had almost the same treatment, but she had chemo too. I don't know if you are interested in talking with her, but let me know if you do and I can get you pointed in the right direction,
Congrats on the 2 years!