Hi everyone, I'm new here.
In August of 2007 my father was diagnosed with stage 4 Oral Cancer. The tumor was on the floor of his mouth at the base of his tongue. He began radiation and chemo immediately, taking radiation 5 days a week, chemo 1 day a week. This lasted around 9 weeks or so. After he completed his treatment, he decided he was "done" and never went back for the follow-up visit or the PET scan. He told us that if the cancer came back, he would not go through treatments again.

The problem is that now 6 months later, he's convinced that the cancer is back not only in his mouth, but also in his head. Now mind you, a doctor has NOT confirmed that! I believe he is seriously depressed and scared to find out what is actually wrong. He literally sleeps 18 or so hours a day. He says he is dizzy all of the time, and he won't eat. He had a PEG tube put in before all of his treatment started, but he refuses to use it! He is down to about 97 pounds now.

My question is this: How can we convince him to go to the doctor?? I know he's scared. We all are. But it is so hard to sit and watch him waste away. Especially when he doesn't know for sure that the cancer is back???

Sorry this is so long, but I'm hoping maybe someone out there will have some advice for me, my mom and brother. We are at a loss.

I thought my husband was difficult!!!

i don't know for sure what to advise you but perhaps you could ring the doctor and have word,then they could ring your Dad and say he needs to come in for a check up.
Short of tying him up i can't think of any way to force a grown man to do anything he is being so stubborn about.

it must be awful for you and i can only say good luck which seems a bit inadequate..
liz

I too, like Liz, am kind of at a loss for words. I would definately start by calling the doctors office and asking to speak with the or the nurse? Tell them everything you have told us!!! Hopefully they will have some good advice / plan of action for you to take. I don't know much about Medical Power of Attorney, but I know it exists. You may want to Google it or call your attorney if you have one or the cancer center where your dad was treated. We had one on my mother and it was facilitated by the cancer center. Hopefully it won't come to that for your family...

Good luck!

If he is a "danger to himself" you can call 911 and have him taken to a hospital for evaluation.

It took me over a year to get back on my feet again and cancer fatigue is well known. His weight loss is a more serious issue though - What did he weigh before treatment?

You can only get power of attorney if the person grants it to you or is deemed mentally incompetent (basically not able to speak). Typically it will take 2 physicians affidavits to present to the court.

He is very likely suffering from depression and very possibly from thrush and other side effects of treatment as well. He really needs to go to his followup appointments. Even something as simple as thrush can be fatal if it goes systemic.

His body may be just loosing control rendering him incapable of making rational decisions. He needs to be admitted with or without his consent so that qualified specialists can evaluate him ASAP. Every hour he does not provide the much needed nourishment his body needs not only to carry out normal daily functions but to heal itself from the trauma caused by his brutal cancer Tx takes him closer to death as his body will just shut down and give up.