Hi. I'm almost afraid to put my feelings into written word. I feel like I am on the verge of breaking down worrying about John's current symptoms. John started working out at a gym in a hospital near our house a couple months ago. He lost so much muscle mass that he wanted to regain some of what he lost. So far he has regained 10 of the 30 lbs. he lost. He continues to drink protein drinks along with most foods. Around 6 weeks ago he started complaining that his left shoulder was bothering him. He assumed it was something he did at the gym. He went to the family doctor around 3 weeks ago. He told him it is probably from working out and that if he injured himself it would take longer to heal because of the radiation. He also gave him a script to get an x-ray. John hasn't seemed himself in a few days. He finally confided in me yesterday that he has lost 3 lbs. and that the pain in his shoulder can now be felt off and on in his chest.

I am on the verge of tears typing this trying not to drive myself crazy with the "what-ifs". Hopefully he will go get the x-ray done today. He saw the radiation oncologist on December 16th. He scoped him and examined him and said everything looked good. He has a CT Scan scheduled for the first week of January. I'm going to have him call today and try and move the CT Scan up and take things from there.

Wanda

Im sorry to hear of Johns current problems. The 'what-if's' will make you nuts with worry. Good idea to try to move up his CT scan and for him to follow up and get the x-ray taken. What doc will give you the CT results? Dont forget to let them know and if necessary, they can help with changing the date. Does he still go to the gym? While we all want to get back to our normal lives, it isnt always that easy.

Wanda,

Lets pray for the best but really he still isn't 1 yr out from Tx and I didn't gain a pound until my 2nd year even consuming 3000 cals (with a lot of FAT calories). As we tell everyone the recovery can take every bit of 2 years and you shouldn't expect him to bounce back like he's recovering from the flu. Not saying you are but perhaps yours and most importantly his expectations are to high.

I didn't have a ND but in reading the numerous posts about their side effects, it could have well played a part in his shoulder injury due to the lack of total muscle support in that area.

Thanks David and Christine. I'm trying not to over analize everything but his neck disection was on the right and the shoulder pain is on the left. He NEVER complains about anything and the fact that it is 6 weeks later and it is now bothering his chest has me worried. He is scheduled for the CT Scan on January 9th but is going to try and get it moved up.

UPDATE - CT Scan moved up to tomorrow at 9:15am - John tells me to stop worrying. Easier said then done.

Wanda,

I am so sorry that you and John are having a tough time. I understand the fear with a new symptom. Every time Clark notices something new or different, a shot of adrenalin surges through me. It is hard to not worry. Take a few deep breaths and calm yourself down. You will do what you have to when you have some more information. Until then, please know that there are many of us who care about you both. And keep writing! Don't let those feelings stay bottled up.

Anita

Wanda,
sorry to hear about Johns new symptoms. heres to hoping he just did too much too soon.
im glad the scan was moved til tomorrow.
crying is a great release so do not keep it bottled up. i know how tough it can be to have to be strong for your husband, not show fear in front of him, but need to cry. i take alot of trips to the "store" and use this as my release time. at times i will purposely forget something to have an excuse to go back out if i need to.
hang in there. keep us posted.

If he had weakness on the right side, he should have been seeing a Physical Therapist, not pounding iron at the gym. He may have overdone it on the left trying to compensate for the weak right. I injured my back after my first neck dissection by sitting in a funny position at my desk trying to compensate for the weak right shoulder. My chair had no arms was the problem. This resulted in what is called a 'winged scapula' causing all manor of back pain and 9 months of PT to fix.

Hopefully this is some kind of injury or infection. Try not to freak out. I know, easier said than done. Keep us posted.

Take care,
Eileen

He has NEVER had any weakness from the neck disection. They only removed lymph nodes including a 4cm malignant lymp node, no muscle. He lost muscle mass from losing 30 lbs. that he couldn't afford to. He wasn't pounding iron at the gym. He hates working out and certainly doesn't "power lift". He is going to a gym/rehab facility at a hospital not a regular gym.

Wanda,

There is no magic wand to wave to allay your fears...it is the elephant that always sits in the room. I'm not sure, when these things crop up, that there is anything to do other than what you are doing and that is to find comfort in those that have walked this path. Hopefully, the scans will bring good news and you can send that elephant to a corner somewhere.

Just think cruise and that beautiful calm water in the Carib to help you breathe better when the fear starts to rise.

BTW..the Oasis was wonderful...too much to do in a week. Embarkation was a snap...debark...not so much.

Hugs, Deb

Hi, Wanda,

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and your husband. I'm sending you healthy thoughts for a Happy New Year.

Anita

Hang tuff as this may be nothing, HOPE YOU BOTH HAVE A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!!! Semper-Fi Bob