question re kissing and sex - Oral Cancer Support

Does anyone have information on how long after radiation treatment of the mouth to wait for kissing and sex? Can radiation be transferred to another person? Or is it just determined by patient comfort level?

Radiation cannot be transferred or passed along to another person in any way. it is exactly the same thing as an x-ray, only uch more powerful and directional.

Post radiation, the only limitation is feeling well enough to snuggle. Obviously, it's hard to feel romantic when you have a mouth full of moucositis and a syste full of morphine to combat the pain
Wayne

Debora,

I know that radiation is not contagious. I think it would be determined by comfort level.

Isn't it always

Tim Stoj

There is only one exception that I can think of to what Wayne said. Some of us had brachytherapy (a radiation implant, where radiation is surgically placed in the area of the tumor and left there for a period of hours or days). For the duration of brachytherapy (because of federal regulations governing radiation exposure), the patient has to be in an isolation room, and contact with other human beings -- including nurses -- is strictly limited to very short time periods. For the 30 hours that I had an implant, my husband was allowed to visit my room for a maximum of about 10 minutes. However, as soon as the radiation seeds were removed from my mouth, I ceased to be "radioactive" and had no restrictions on contact with other people.

Cathy

WELL WOULDN"T YOU KNOW IT WOULD TAKE A QUESTION ABOUT SEX TO GET MY FRIEND TIM BACK IN THE LOOP(HA-HA)

Deborah if I'm not mistaken it's been about 6 months since your husband dx. It's interesting that you bring this topic up because I have had one night of passionate kissing in the seven years since my treatment and I vomited right after. I guess I'm self- concious about my dry mouth and thick secretions so I no longer Kiss. My condition has not kept me from sex but oddly enough I still need my water bottle next to me even for that. Well I,m usually the one with the sense of humor and I really had to refrain with this post but feel free and wail away folks.

Where did you ever get this silly idea? It is bad enough that we can't eat, drink or taste anything for a while after about two weeks of radiation, now you want us to give up sex too? I think not. Other than the treatment that Cathy pointed out, I don't remember anyone being told not to have sex even during radiation. So go ahead and enjoy.

Eileen

Deb,

THE ONLY THING THAT I ENJOYED DURING MY JOURNEY THROUGH THE DARK TUNNEL WAS MAKING LOVE WITH MY WIFE. Now I didn't always feel "up" to it but when I did, it was full steam ahead. I did complain towards the end of Tx that I had lost my sex drive but I soon found it again. Discuss this with your H so that your wires don't get crossed when the urge hits him because for a while during Tx the mood doesn't last to long.

Mark,

I figured you'd be all over this topic :p

Tim

Tim and Tony it kills me to have to do this but I'm going to have to pass the title of Ladies man over to our good friend Davidcpa and at 58 yrs. old to, You 2 should be ashamed of yourself. As far as you David keep "up" the good work.

What do you who suffer from the dry mouth post Tx think about the kissing part?
Is it uncomfortable?
Ginny

Ginny,

That's what they made water bottles for.

Mark,

I must agree with you...Davidcpa is the title holder. Congrats to David

Davidcpa

Stong Work! You are cracking me up- More Humor please.

Debroah-
You have a good question and I have a warped sense of humor- Honestly - you guys have made me laugh out loud for the first time ever on this forum.

Derbora, you must be a whole bunch younger than most of us, to ask about kissing and sex!
I got a shot of procrit last week and it made me feel so good I had memory flashbacks and chased my wife around the house.
Darrell

Ginny and deborah- The reasons I do not kiss anymore is my lack of saliva and thick secretions are gross to me so I'm not going to be sticking my tongue into my wife's mouth.I think the reason I got sick has to do with no enzymes from saliva. I had xrt so my condition will never get better. I'm going to the dentist to get my 7th and 8th teeth pulled soon. the othodontist refuses to pull anymore without Hyperbaric Tx. and my ENT refuses to let me have it so my dentist will have to pull them for me. My Dental issues are getting worse every yr, but I still have my sense of humor---"confused and never been kissed", but I'm living the big man's dream- straight to sex without all that kissing stuff.

Deborah, so you know now radiation cannot be transferred and you can see from the posts that these fellows have plenty of life in them.

When the thought of my dearest husband not being immortal occured, I panicked and decided this was the time to drop the inhibitions, spice up the wardrobe, stock the bookshelves. Whatever I could think of to ease whatever misery may lie ahead. A couple down weeks during treatment is all he suffered. Ice princess turned to popcicle princess and when life hands you lemons, squeeze for the lemonaid. Enjoy!

Guys, if you can dish it out, be prepared to receive the "back at ya!"

Dear Popcicle Princess- my hat is off to you and I have some video tapes that might interest you- [slightly used]

Amy

Amy,
To quote the full Monty aren't you supposed to leave your hat on?

Princess,
I showed your post to my wife and told her that's the attitude to have. Maybe she'll go shopping tomorrow

David,
You are the man! You didn't put any of this in your 4 month update though.

And My Friend Mark,
Sorry about all your dental problems. I never minded the kissing it was the talking while I was trying to sleep afterwards. Is there a side effect I can use for that?

Hope I didn't offend anyone.

Goodnight
Tim

The final voting has not been tallied but as of now we have a tie between Eilleen and Ginny for the site's Sex Symbol. Please do not give up ladies as the final voting is not in. Although at this moment I would have to give a slight edge to Eileen due to the fact that she is a 2 time cancer survivor. "All in fun". To my good friend Tim when your wife talks during sex thats when you enter my world.

Mark,

All I know is I got to find a way to get to Arkansas, New York and Ohio to conduct my own due diligence before I can vote.

Any other states interested in my independent, discreet and thorough testing? LOL

Tim,

The reason It didn't make my 4 month update list is because I worked very hard (oops, bad choice of word) to make sure the sex thing wasn't much of an issue. If I had worked as hard (oops again) on other potential side effects, I probably wouldn't have dry mouth right now.

Funny thing and true story. Near the end of my Tx when my sex drive was pretty down, my ENT who is a friend, offered to prescribe testosterone tablets. When my wife (love you sweetheart) found out she told him that she would run him down in her car if he did. I didn't get my pills; he didn't get run over and despite all of her interference (love you sweetheart) I fully recovered.

Mark D. I am sorry about your dental issues too. Although congratulations on your riding the expressway!
Mike had that the same treatment as you, radiation was not IMRT. He had his final visit with the RO this week and was told the extreme dry mouth will not go away, but full taste will return. I worry about the lack of enzymes you spoke of leading to future dental problems. He had no dental issues going into this or now.

Tim, tell your wife the VS semi annual sale is on! Mabey she'll come home with furry earmuffs for you!

Darrell, did you catch her?

Thank you, Amy!

Back to Deborah's question, although this concerns chemo treatment. I recall somewhere instructions stating that "you will be fatigued an may not have an interest in sex....." and then something about needing a condom for a day or so after treatment. It concerned bodily elimation of the drugs not necessarily birth control.
Our son (in his 20's) was there for the first treatment with us and reading those instuctions. He came to the relations part and looked at us like this could not possibly apply to us. Mike says "you better get to the drug store and get some, Ginny" and son groans and shakes his head and says "oh, great now I need counseling, yuck, my parents!"

Ginny,

My radiation was not IMRT either (it wasn't even around when I was treated), and I've gotten back a surprising amount of salivary function over the years. I do take Salagen every day, which really helps me, and I use Biotene mouthwash regularly. It IS really important to pay attention to dental care post-treatment -- frequent brushing, fluoride applications, regular cleanings, etc. -- but so far I've been able to avoid anything like tooth extractions or root canals by being pretty diligent about dental hygiene.

Cathy

Hello Everyone, I figured I would put my 2 cents in on this topic. I would be having sex if there were someone available, absolutely! But with my rootcanal problem and this cold I got(from kissing a woman no doubt), I haven't felt like kissing a lot. The pain from my top left molar is now gone and sinus pressure is dropping so my other pressure is building!I don't mean blood pressure either! Any assistance would be appreciated! Just joking! Hang in there, Debora. Things will get better, and life is good if you're this side of the dirt! Tony

Well I have conceded that since David has taken the title over as ladies man I believe he should have the final vote as to who wins the sites sex symbol.
Ginny just because Mike had the old radiation does not mean he will have the same problems I'm having with my teeth. My ent, Rad Dr. dentist tell me I have an extreme case of dry mouth. Although I have no one to compare it to. I can't carry on a conversation for more than 2 minutes without needing to drink water. Like Cathy I was on Salagen for 3 months and it did not help at all. I never eat any sweets and yet no matter how much I brush, Floss, and Flouride I will always have dental issues. Cathy is right though I would hate to think where I would be withoutgood dental hygeine. It is funny how people can have similar tx and have different or no side effects. Hope all is well with everyome.