My husband and I spent the weekend with family in another state. Most had not seen us for over 2 years. I wanted to be sure that no one would react in a negative way to Clark's changed appearance. To prepare them for that, I emailed everyone and described what he looks like, ie, weight loss, facial disfigurement, etc. I asked them to approach him with their best smiles, give him their warmest hugs, tell him how good he looked, ask him questions regarding his upcoming procedure, and feel free to give him some good natured ribbing (as is usual).

They were all glad I clued them in beforehand as they were not shocked when the saw him at last. It was especially effective with the littlest family members who commented that even though he looked different, he was the same person and they still loved him.

It took the pressure off everyone and we had a great time.

Anita, you are one brilliant woman!!!!! You made the holiday a special one for all by making sure there were no surprises waiting for Clark. Im sure it lifted his spirits tremendously seeing everyone and not feel like he is being scrutinized. Good job

Anita,
I got all choked up reading that! It gives me hope! I think we all think the worst is going to meet us; I don't want my family to see me like this.
Pat C

Christine,

Thanks for calling me brilliant! You made my day. I didn't want anyone to shrink away from Clark and have him see their shock. I am so glad I did it that way.

Pat,

To get support from your family regarding your changing appearance, why not print this out and let some family members read it. Sometimes people don't know what to do, say, or act.

Good advice! I've been thinking about doing That!

Way to go Anita!!!

Physiologically for Clark that would have given him such a boost to his confidence. Glad you had such a wonderful weekend

Karen

For the over 2 year reunion you not only make it easy for Clark but the whole family as well. Glad to see you all had a great time.
I agree with Christine "brilliant woman!"

Anita, that was the perfect thing to do! No surprises... only warm welcomes and love. That was great to hear. My mom always worries but she comes to the family functions when she's up to it. She worries most about small children being afraid of her because she saw that happen in our church years ago. Pat, sending these posts to your family is a great idea. You should not be afraid to join your family and let them share their love with you - you deserve it!

we are moving ahead with our wedding date of 9/17 and my future father in law is nervous about seeing family members there. i will show his wife this post for inspiration. thanks!