What is the general experience of those who have shared publicly their personal blog or journal?

From a professional career or business standpoint, does the fact many are aware of your situation hinder current or future business?

I run my own business but want to hear if others have had issues arise due to your cancer status, even if you are back at 100%. I'm just a bit fearful some partners and clients may elect to not do business with someone who has a chronic illness that might affect one's performance.

don

Don,

I have been self-employed since about 2001. When diagnosed I was involved in a long-term turnaround project and had righted the ship just as the bad news hit. It created turmoil and in-fighting amongst the owners and a group forced me out and the company tanked within months. Fast forward to a couple years later. I was asked to do a project that was ten minutes from home and as I got rolling they offered me a job but when I showed up thin and weakened somehow the offer was "subject to approval of the new position" and it never happened. I was sure it was because of the cancer but I just kept focused and eventually worked into several years with the company. When I left there they were really angry because I did not give them an opportunity to counter. I figured after four years or so they wouldn't and took another project. Even though I know the President of the Division well, they have not even talked to me for several years.

The net of all this is yes it could impact you to publicly put yourself out there but much like concern about recurrence, if you worry about it this is one area that you do have control. If you have trepidation, you have answered your question somewhat. You could always journal and as you get back to your "new normal" you could always blog from your journal and catch up. I think some of the old timers here would tell you that I have never been shy and have probably shared enough of my life both past and present that I don't plan on getting any business propositions soon from OCF members.

A second option is a ghost name to protect the innocent. I am sure I will never put the things I have shared here on LinkedIn or Facebook since it is too public for me.

I hope this helps in some way.

Ed

I'll post this anyway for those that may benefit.

I agree with Ed that it depends on your personal situation, business or occupation. I also agree that going public has it's negatives but it does have it's positives.

Having gone public (in a big way), allow me to share my experience.

I'm in the music industry. I played and toured professionally (guitar/mandolin/vocals) much of my career. I "retired" from public performance in 1994. I came out of retirement in 2009 and have cultivated a second career locally performing at venues in the area. It's been a very successful venture. My main "day job" is in the CD/DVD manufacturing industry. I've been involved in this business for over 15 years. I'm National Sales Director for a CD/DVD manufacturer and printer. I deal with customers from all over the country and the world. Being a musician, many of my customers have become friends and I know them on a personal level.

I deal with the public as part of both aspects of my work. Being that I would be away from my jobs for a rather lengthy period of time, it was best to inform folks of my status.

Personally for me, there was another aspect and that was financially. Being away from work would stress my financial situation to the breaking point. While my insurance covered my medical expenses, my monthly expenses would have to be covered as well. A dear friend held a benefit for me (I'll speak more about this shortly).

You will discover who your friends are. Some you thought were friends will disappear. Don't be hurt by this. It's just their way of coping with your diagnosis. Stay in touch, if even by email or social media. After all is said and done, reach out to them. If at that point there's still no response, move on. There are more important things in life.

On the contrary, people you didn't even know and those from your past that you may have forgotten about will come out of the woodwork! You will be surprised how many people really care and will support you in your battle. Remember, this is a war and the more soldiers you have on your side the better!

From a business standpoint (and it depends totally on what you do), I found an overwhelming support from the customers I shared my situation with. Fortunately, I'll be able to continue to work remotely to a degree. I can access my email and do many things I did while in the office with the exception of answering the phones. I still can work with many customers via my cell and email.

Ok... going public in a big way. I have an email list of close to 1000 addresses of people who have seen me perform. I sent an email to that list explaining (in a rather tongue and cheek way), what was going on. Also, I posted the same thing on my FaceBook page.

I mentioned the benefit. My friend and singing partner put together a benefit at a local venue where we performed on a regular basis. We are quite popular there and always packed the house when we performed. We also had a silent auction. The benefit was to raise funds to help us cover our living expenses while I'm undergoing treatment. This was again announced through email as well as locally with posters, newspaper and radio advertisement (all of which were donated).

I don't know if I can put into words the outpouring of support and love I received. It was unbelievable! It was an evening I will never forget. Many great musician/friends came out to perform. I was still hurting pretty bad from my surgery (neck dissection) but with the help of pain meds and good old fashioned gumption I performed solo and with my partner.

Enough was raised between everything to cover our living expenses for several months. What can I say? All I have to do is worry about fighting the battle.

My situation may be different that most being in the public eye, but I hope you can draw from it. At first, I was very reluctant to share my diagnosis. I kept it close to home and only a few folks knew. My partner urged me to share. Her husband had H&N cancer as well and based on their experience, she knew the benefits and negatives of doing so. My family and many friends urged me to share as well. I have no regrets doing so. The positives far outweighed the negatives and I have an army of folks behind me. Positive thoughts and prayers go a long way in helping to defeat the beast.

And one more bonus.... I can tell you this... When I get through this and hit the stage again (and I fully intend to do so!), there will be a packed house in support!

"T"

Mark (TMan) and Don !!

Welcome to OCF my fellow warriors from CSN. This is another great source of information for you both. The survivors on this site are awesome and so willing to help you as much as they helped me 2 years ago.

Hi Ingrid!

Foo referred me over here. It's a great resource for sure! I've done quite a bit of reading thus far

"T"

Hi and welcome and good luck through treatments!

Sounds more like you are telling us how popular you are. I still have all of my friends , excpet the ones that died. I make new friends every day and look like Mortimer Snerd but who cares. Welcome aboard and good luck.

Don't mind my words. I always tells it likes I see it.

No worries... You're right and I'm taking advantage of it!



Thanks for the welcome

"T"

I can tell you this was a concern for my husband. He insisted his caringbridge site be private, so that potential one-day employers could not access this very personal information. It was a bit of a pain to set up, but very easy thereafter. Best of luck, Ana

Welcome Mark and you are spot on. I think often of Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart and the infamous line..."cuz you can't lose a friend you never had...". Many wander away out of fear how to respond when no response was really necessary.

Rock on or play on or whatever you do...just keep in keeping on. I want to call you Mr T but then my mind wanders to "come here woman, let me put my tongue down your throat..." and that might be construed as too sick to be funny. Fasten your seat belt...the road may get bumpy but you have found some new friends and when they say I feel your pain...they ain't kidding!

Thanks Uptown,

Seat belt is fastened and thank goodness! Based on week one, I'm in for one hell of a ride for sure

"T"

Well I'll share a bit I guess as my poor excuse for a blog has changed my life in many ways since starting it two years ago. Where I've shared extensively online both on Facebook and on these forums about my struggles through the cancer experience, I believe my best writing, and healing moments, happened on my blog.

Professionally the cancer experience can change the way people see you, and that's more of a testament to the type of person "they" are and speaks nothing about the person you've become due to your experience. I ran hotels before my diagnosis and it was my life, I was very good at what I did, leading one of my hotels to the highest rated property in N. America in the largest hotel chain in the world in "every" category that the brand judged on.

My employers, who were publicly supportive during my treatment were extremely reluctant to bring me back due to my health and we ended our relationship when it was apparent that I wasn't the same person after treatment. To prove I was still capable I jumped into a business opportunity that proved to be an impossible challenge due to many factors, one of which was that even though driven, physically, mentally, and emotionally I wasn't the same guy.

I started my blog on these forums during this time, opening up and sharing my struggles etc. and where I knew that I'd never be the hotel mogul I wanted to be before cancer, it didn't mean that I couldn't make an impact in other areas. I was fortunate to be approached by a friend who understood the struggle, and offered guidance and an opportunity to make a difference, that friend gave me something more than an opportunity, he gave me a purpose.

Now I feel like I'm able to contribute, even if in a small way, and I'm not sure I'd have that if it weren't for writing in a poor excuse for a blog and sharing.

My experience for what it's worth my friend, glad you've found these forums, I hope they are as helpful to you as they've been for me.

Eric

Hi Eric,

You said it right here:

"the cancer experience can change the way people see you, and that's more of a testament to the type of person "they" are and speaks nothing about the person you've become due to your experience."

That is the risk one takes when going public with their cancer.
I question if one decides to keep quiet, would the secret eventually come out anyway? Would others not notice something different? Especially if you've had radical surgery. I had a selective neck dissection and it's barely noticeable (although I can see a difference). Most of my work is on the phone (at my day gig) but I'm in the public eye as a musician/performer. Like you in your hotel pursuits, I don't know what the future holds concerning my music and performance. Perhaps I will have to pursue another avenue where I can make an impact and have a purpose (like teaching).

I believe one must pursue their passions and be rewarded for their accomplishments. I found your post to be inspirational and I thank you for sharing. Best wishes, positive thoughts and prayers.

"T"

Afternoon gents
Kind of weird but worked the other way for me one of my contracts I was trying to sell became saleable because buyers thought I was not going to be able to carry on with it with my health failing,sometimes it works sometimes not,I'd rather have my health btw. Ken

I was going through some PT and the front desk lady was telling me about a band her husband was putting together called Stage Four. I thought that was pretty cool although I never went to see them.

Not a blog but a CV caused some interesting reactions to Alex's illness.

We struggled with his CV when he was trying return to work (previous job long gone) and we had a two year gap to justify.

At first we thought that we would just leave his health issues out leaving the 2 year gap until a recruitment agency asked about it and when told gave a sigh of relief and said that he was worried Alex had been in jail or something.

From that point forward we gave sketchy details about his illness and explained further when he finally got the first interview. Unfortunately, just the illness put him behind the eight ball and it was months before he got an interview.

So fast forward 6 months and he gets the job ...

He has been quite open about his oropharyngeal cancer and also in an attempt to create awareness, has also discussed his HPV status. I think the apprentice only heard the H and the V. A couple of weeks into the job, Alex scraped his hand and left a tiny speck of blood behind. Apprentice downs tools and Alex is sent home. A couple of weeks later, Alex came down with shingles which was quite visible on his face. After being treated with ***cyclovir, and getting the shingles under control, he went to work, and the apprentice again downed tools and refused to work with him. His employer demanded that he leave work and not return until he had a doctors certificate to say he was not catching. I am SURE this would not have happened had Alex not shared his health issues. I was appalled that a bunch of non medics took this action when all they had to do was ring their on staff doctor to find out that shingles is not catching when it is scabbed and clearing. AND the apprentice would have to get close enough to give Alex a big kiss to catch it.

things have settled now, but those first few weeks ...