I know assisted suicide is illegal in most every country. I am curious to hear opinions from others so I will ask you all a question. Please give me your honesty. I only want your opinion on this subject DO not say if you would do this.

If someone you loved the most in this world had only 10 days left to live (cancer) & fully aware in their mind ask for your help would you do it? Knowing it may cost you life in prison?

Will I be hated on this forum telling that I helped my mother in her time of need? She made me promise her that I would help her on the day she was told she had cancer to help her near the end, she lived 18 months & of course she did not realize that I could get arrested & was constantly asking me over the last few months "please give me the BIG pill" her way of reminding me of my promise. I called her home care nurse & she said to me "you know I have to call the police now" I said "I know" as that is why I called her, not wanting to hide it. The police came & found me holding my mom's hand & rubbing her head with my other hand, she was now 68 lbs. About 8 police came into the house & seeing this had tears in their eyes, looking at the love & caring. Of course I was arrested & charged with attempted murder (as she did not die right away). The judge called it "An act of Love" as he said he had to give me 2 years probation as it was illegal & wanted to be sure I got help to deal with the future I may live through. That judge was so kind & very understanding. To this day I have no regrets & would do it again BUT only for my mother. A doctor once told me to never question myself & only to be proud that I was willing to give up my life for the person who gave me life. That night was the worse night of my life to have to do that but in other ways maybe the best I could be as a person & a man. Bob

Bob,

My mother made the same decision only with her doctor. The whole family was there in the hospital room (all ten kids) when her doctor said "OK Penny, are you ready to do what we talked about?" she reached out her hand to him and nodded. He then increased her morphine drip and she drifted off to sleep. Throughout the night her morphine was increased ever so slightly as she was "officially" presenting with severe pain. She stopped breathing about 5:30 AM. This was in a major hospital.

So I can say I was party to the same action you took. All her kids were; we took turns sitting with her until the end. We watched as the nurses came in and increased the morphine knowing full well what the purpose was.

I recently ran onto a doctor who effectively offered me the same courtesy when my time arrived. I have let my wife know I want him as my attending physician when that time arrives for me.

This is done every day all over the country. It�s just not talked about.

[quote=Kelly211]Bob,

My mother made the same decision only with her doctor. The whole family was there in the hospital room (all ten kids) when her doctor said "OK Penny, are you ready to do what we talked about?" she reached out her hand to him and nodded. He then increased her morphine drip and she drifted off to sleep. Throughout the night her morphine was increased ever so slightly as she was "officially" presenting with severe pain. She stopped breathing about 5:30 AM. This was in a major hospital.

So I can say I was party to the same action you took. All her kids were; we took turns sitting with her until the end. We watched as the nurses came in and increased the morphine knowing full well what the purpose was.

I recently ran onto a doctor who effectively offered me the same courtesy when my time arrived. I have let my wife know I want him as my attending physician when that time arrives for me.

This is done every day all over the country. It�s just not talked about.
[/quote]

Thank you Kelly for a nice reply. Both my father & bother passed away in a major hospital the same as your mother. My mother wanted to pass on alone in her home. Unfortunately her other children were not there nor do I think they would have understood at that time, they understood why later.

God bless & take care of you & your family. Bob

You're a good man Bob, and my heart goes out to you.
julieann

Bob, I honestly don't think I could answer this unless I was in that situation. I like to think that I could . But really think I would have to experience the emotions that go along with all of this to make a fully informed decision at the time.
In our hospital, patients near the end are put on a continuous infusion of morphine and midazolam ( an anti anxiety and amnesiac drug). Hospice uses the same formula here too .
I think that here in NZ we don't need to use a bolus or increasing amount of morphine to ease the patients end.
Of course NZ is not a litigious country.
Take care,
Tammy

[quote=julieann]You're a good man Bob, and my heart goes out to you.
julieann


[/quote]

Thank you julieann. The police called my girlfriend I was living with at that time to hurry over & she was in shock seeing so many police cars. I expected to be in jail for 25 years but only spent 1 night. A lawyer got me out the next day & the judge agreed to let me be with my mother at the end if my lawyer came with me. I was holding her hand & I think she heard me say "I am ok mom, you can go to heaven now" then a moment later she passed away. I kind of think she was waiting for me.

I am crying telling all of this but maybe it is good for me to let it all out as I never talk about that night. Bob

[quote=tamvonk]Bob, I honestly don't think I could answer this unless I was in that situation. I like to think that I could . But really think I would have to experience the emotions that go along with all of this to make a fully informed decision at the time.
In our hospital, patients near the end are put on a continuous infusion of morphine and midazolam ( an anti anxiety and amnesiac drug). Hospice uses the same formula here too .
I think that here in NZ we don't need to use a bolus or increasing amount of morphine to ease the patients end.
Of course NZ is not a litigious country.
Take care,
Tammy [/quote]

Thank you for your reply Tammy. Yes even I can not explain the emotions & love I felt at that moment. Like I said I would never help another in this way ONLY my mother if I had to help again. This was not only about pain, she wanted to die in dignity with all her faculties, that was her last wish in her life. I do think she is looking over me now & will give me the strength I need. Bob

This is a very difficult subject. It does happen in the US with regularity even though it is illegal. A public forum may not be the best place for this discussion. I have locked the thread not because of judging anything improper, but because this is a discussion that should take place privately not in an open forum that can be read by search engines like Google. If anyone feels they would like to continue this discussion and explore the emotional sides and legal implications of these kinds of decisions, please do so thru PM's or emails and not on the public forum. Remember here at OCF we are all in this together and a wide range of subjects can come up. As long as it relates to OC and poses no legal issues it usually is ok to be discussed. When in doubt....please ask an admin.

Thank you!