Jim had his 1st round of chemo since we found out it has spread more. Tonight we finished our taxes and then went to have a glass of wine and a hurrican to celebrate FAT Tuesday. He wants to just spend our refund on fun stuff, which I'm in agreement with. I feel like we are on such a roller coaster and the ride gets worse and worse....So, 1 treatment down 2 more to go...he's calling - gotta go and cut hair:-)

Hey honey

FAT Tuesday??? is that the same as our Shrove tuesday(pancake day),and whats a hurrican?

So your vacation is over. I hope house/good luck party went well and I totally agree with Jim - Enjoy, enjoy and enjoy.

There is a very good book titled "Chasing Daylight" which both of you might find an interesting read. It was written by the CEO of, I think, KPMG, but regardless - a major accounting firm. He is diagnosed as terminal and in the book he talks about (Spoiler Alert) special moments.

The overriding message in the book is that many people spend / waste humdrum everyday type days - wishing away days and wishing away weeks and even months - time "gotten through" without any precious moments. The author felt he could fit many years worth of "important moments" into a couple of months. These are the moments where you look around and think to yourself - "This Is Living". Maybe a moment is holding hands and looking into each others eyes. Maybe its a visit with a special friend, or brunch at the classiest place in town.

Enjoy your time. I hope he does well through this chemo. You both are such fighters, I admire your strength.

Donna

Liz,

The Hurricane she is talking about is an alcoholic drink.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_(cocktail)

Make these on the Island.

Somehow I lost track of my thread (or whatever it's called), so sorry I haven't answered.

Liz, a hurricane is a drink and FAT Tuesday is when you gorge yourself of food before LENT, or giving up something that you love, for instance a lot of people give up chocolate....not me though! It's a Catholic thing, I think.

Well, Jim is holding his own...we get a week off of chemo and he is very cranky. We just had an argument...he is trying to finish off some projects around the new house, such as putting in a yard and building a fence. I on the other hand get to deal with the aftermath when I get home - his total exhaustion, barely able to walk, not to mention the fact that his brother won't come around anymore. Jim is cramping more into a 24 hr. day than what a normal healthy person could get done in a 40 hr. week. I understand what Jim is doing, but on the other hand resent that he is bringing everyone else down with him. My back is killing me - today I called in late to work as I woke up @ 3:30 am and couldn't go back to sleep.

Gotta go - Jim is calling for me to get in there to him...sorry for the venting - it's cryptic I know, but am beginning to back slide a little. After hearing about Neil this weekend, it's really got me upset....Does this thing ever stop with our families????

Paula

Hey Paula
thanks for dropping by and updating us,and sorry things aren't much better.You know my e-mail address if you need a chat.

love liz

Paula,

Maybe if you wrote him a letter and planned it so he could read it when you weren't there. Sometimes we can be a bit pig headed but if there's no one around to fight with we simmer down to reason. Just a thought.

Feel free to drop by and vent. This is your place to do that. I actually think David has a good idea - a letter to Jim explaining that his busyness and now urgent projects are detrimental to him AND to you, might slow him down for a day or two anyway.

I too am guilty of trying to take on - with great urgency - projects which others allow to lag such as making sure photoalbums are up to date, etc. I always think that once I get this done, or once I get that done, then I can relax. He is doing it for you, but it is hurting both of you.

Let us know how things go. And by the way - don't be afraid to argue as per normal. Cancer patients need to be called on inappropriate actions and words the same as anyone else!

Donna

Thanks everyone for the advice - I like the idea of a note - right now Jim is sitting in a chair and watering the yard, has issued about 10 projects for me to do, which I just sank away and got on the site......I think I'll write a note to Jim this weekend. Chemo starts again on Monday and I'm not looking forward to it as I know Jim isn't either. Last night he had a nose bleed and I'm not sure why...I'm hoping it is just his allergies. I'm hoping to go fishing this weekend or something other than working on the house.....I should be grateful for all that he is willing to do, but he just won't relax.

Gotta go....love and duty calls:-)

Paula- You need to take of yourself too. Please let Jim know that your are tired. I have so much more grey hair now than I did a year ago. It's truly amazing what stress can do to a relatively healthy person. Hang in there!

Sue