My father was diagnosed last week w/ oral cancer. He is 56 years old, 57 in March and as far as we know otherwise no health issues. The ENT who spoke w/ us made the comment that he did not think my father should have the surgery, because he did not think my father would "live through it". The surgery he spoke of included much of what some of you have undergone, 2/3 tongue removal, portion of jaw bone, floor of mouth, neck and cheek. I am curious now about his comment, after digesting everything. Any opinions or thoughts on why he may have said this?

My dad meets w/ an oncologist on 3/7 so we will find out staging and if it has spread to more than lymphnodes then.

This is new to us so any input is appreciated.

Thanks, Tabitha

I am 55 and they recommended against surgery also. They also said that radiation and chemo would give me the same survival rate. I have 13 radiation treatments left and the tumor has long "melted". There is always hope...

I should have also mentioned I have a stage III SCC in the right tonsil. If he is stage IV it's a little tougher but people DO survive.

I think you need to get another opinion as soon as possible, hopefully from a full staff, multidisciplinary cancer center. Time is of the essence, do not delay this step. Unless your father has significant distant mets or ones to the brain, this doctor is way out of line telling you something like this, (and even those people with advanced, additional organ disease do survive the process). Though I do not know the details of your father

Gary and Brian

Thank you for your replies. The ENT did say his survival rate was the same w/ either surgery or radiation and chemo. We will find out what stage on Friday from the oncologist, I am guessing. The ENT did not want to answer that question.
I am so glad to hear that your radiation treatments are working well. Thank you for sharing that with me.

He did go Saturday for a full series of CT scans. He said they checked everything. I am hoping we get the results from these also at the oncologists. Although I did read on here that CT scans cannot show whether something is cancer or not, so I am guessing more biopsies, if they find something.
I did ask him to talk to the oncologist more about the surgery. I hope he will, although I know he is more interested on going the radition/chemo route, after what the ENT said. We do know it has gone into his lymphnodes (neck) that is what caused him to go to the DR., when he had the mass in his neck.
Thank you both for your replies. I know I have said it before, but I am thankful that I found this forum.

Tabitha

Tabitha, listen to Brian. A doc who is not positive, who is not a fighter, who is not on your side, is not one you want to do business with. One year ago I had a stage IV tumor with lymph node involvement. After surgery, radiation and chemo, I feel like a million bucks, am eating whatever I like and running miles every morning. While I am ever vigilant with checkups, and while stage IV is serious, it is NOT an automatic death sentence. Get a new doc!
Joanna, pulling for you

Be sure that the scans were of lungs, brain, etc. Once you have cancer in your lymph system it can end up in many other places very distant to the primary. At bare minimum a spiral CT of the lungs should be done, and one reveling the entire aerodigestive tract, the number one location for a metastasis. We have patients here on the board that have had liver mets, and brain mets that were undiagnosed at the time of treatment of the index/oral cancer. Lastly, cure rates (the wrong term, but I will use it here) between radiation and surgery are not necessarily the same. It depends more on the stage of the tumor. A carcinoma in situ or a very early stage one tumor has an excellent cure rate from surgery. A stage 3 or 4 cancer treated with surgery alone definitely has a different result. Obviously this comment was made by a surgeon.... I find it equally disturbing that this doctor has not staged the cancer yet has already wielded the scalpel. This isn't right. You need to know the complete extent (stage) of the disease before embarking on a treatment plan.

Doctors shouldn't make hasty judgement and irresponsible remarks on a patient before thorough examination and diagnosis. Stage 4 is indeed a very advanced stage but can be curable. I hate hearing people using the word 'terminal'as if nothing can be done and it is just a matter of time... I am a stage 4B tonsil cancer patient now working full time as an Assistant Principal in a secondary school after taking seven months sick leave receiving treatment and recovering my strength. Yes, I am still suffering from side effects like very dry mouth, raspy voice, neck pain,limb numbness but these have not prevented me from going back to my normal life. There are many people with success stories that give me encouragement and hope.And attitude is everything.
If your doctor gives you up, you should give him up first and get another one who is a positive guy.

Karen, stage 4 tonsil cancer diagonsed in 9/01.

Thank you all for your input. After I had time to think about his comment it bothered me more and more. But being new to this I did not know if that was a recommendation a Dr. might make or inappropriate. I think he knows more (staging, etc.)than he wants to tell us right now. I got the feeling he wanted the oncologist to give us all of the details. But he was definetely making recommendations for treatment, but not telling us what he was basing his information on. Which made me uncomfortable. Which of course is a red flag.

I will make sure we explore these things more with the oncologist.

Doctors have an ethical obligation to inform the patient of all that they know regarding that patients health in a timely manner. This allows the patient to make informed decisions, seek out substantiating or differentiating opinions, and more forward promptly with a treatment plan based on complete understanding of their situation. Any doctor who is unwilling to talk with you until you have that complete understanding is not providing you with proper care in my opinion. As you can read in the many posts on this board, patients have had to become their own strong advocates for action and proper care. And an overloaded doctor, or worse one that has less concern for the wellbeing of his patient population than would be expected, is one that needs aggressive participation from the family and patient to get them moving. If they do not, go elsewhere. Delays in detection, diagnosis, or initiating treatment which have a negative impact on the outcome of the patients