I have been given a date for my surgery of Sept 8...It has now become a reality no more maybe I am dreaming no more well maybe it really isn't...It is!!! I am glad it has been set but at the same time still have concerns. I would really, really like to thank everybody who has help me get to this point.

I have a cat scan tomorrow. I am praying that there will be no need for radiation. The doctor has booked 10 hrs for surgery. I know there are a lot of you out there that has accomplished this and I will be another one added to the list!!

I am trying to be strong and for the most part am winning the battle. The neck disection, the trach, the nose feed, well everything to be done is just so overwhelming and amazing at the same time. I am placing all my trust in the gifted hands of my surgeon and god above!

Thank you for all your support and well wishes...

Dianne

You can do it!!!! Hang in there!!! My surgery was 14 1/2 hours so 10 hours will be a breeze for you! Hope your CT scan goes well tomorrow! Keep us posted!

Yup just another pin cushion...got love being lit up...just like your picture in your album!!!

Like Stephanie mine was round 14 hours as well. Also best wishes for tomorrow and will be checking to see how you went.

Well I really wish I could just stay in bed all day or be working but hey...One would think being diabetic I would be used to being a pin cushion.

It really isn't the surgery it's waking up and everything else involved that is scaring me. Although my doctor made it out to be not necessarily routine operation but a very common one. So his job at this point is run of the mill. I guess I have the hard job...Me and the nurses...I am such a scardy cat...

ONE STEP at a time I keep telling myself...today the cat scan ...TOMORROW THE WORLD!!!!

One piece of absolutely INVALUABLE advice I received before my first surgery: Keep your eyes closed and you can get through anything!

For me, that was absolutely golden advice. I use it for cat scans, mri's, 62 radiation treatments and through 2 surgeries. It really DOES work. You will get through this. Trust the specialists around you, keep a positive attitude and keep your eyes closed when you need to!

Donna

Dianne, I have recently gone through what you will go through and posted a lot of my experience, including some tips to make it easier:

http://oralcancersupport.org/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=75331&page=all

The surgery is the easy part for you, all you have to do is sleep; it's the poor Docs and staff who have to do all the work!

The trach is definitely the part that's not so much fun, but to talk, just put your finger over the tube so no air leaks out. You can practice speaking now by just jamming the front of your tongue against your teeth and making words -- I find L and G to be difficult.

The whole thing turned out to be slightly more difficult than I originally thought, but it was indeed a lot easier than that radiation stuf, by far!!

Thank you Pete you do in fact have a great attitude about your situation. As much as I want to know I really do. I am scared out of my skin and just want to get a handle on it. I have good days and bad days concerning my pending surgery. Some days I think I have had so many other surgeries and got better and healed. Then the other days when reality sets in and overcomes me and I am not sure how I am gonna handle this one. I see how so many people have gone before me and survived. I really want to be a part of that group. But for now all I can do is wait and pray for strength which I have very little of at the moment. It is really hard to put my life in a stranger's hand no matter how good people say he is and how many successful proceedures he has done...but this is ME!!! I guess if truth be known I wish it were all over with like a nightmare. But I guess I have to fight the battle to get the medal...Thank you for your imput and support...I cannot seem to say thank you enough Thank you doesn't seem like enough.

Dianne

Though my road so far has been short and my surgery not as extensive as yours I had the same good/bad day syndrome and anxieties with awaiting my surgery... I finally asked doc for something LIGHT to help me calm down but not me doped up or drowsy... that I could take just when I was feeling real stressed. She gave me some Lazopram I think it is called and it helped. There is no need to spend countless hours in stress ... if you are stressing and cannot get past it, ask for help hon.

Wish I could make it all better for you. Not knowing what to expect is the hardest part.

You have a lot of people to come to for strength, advice, counsel, and love ... use the resources and people you have to help and don't be afraid to say HEY! I need a hand here! (why are we always so willing to give help but find it so hard to ask for it?)

Hang in there hon and you will be in my prayers.
Rita

Dianne,

You'll do fine. I know, easy for me to say since I didn't have to have any surgery but you post like a person that is arming themselves with a very powerful tool, that being knowledge. This knowledge you are gaining will help you a lot and just think about all the stories you will be able to share with us after!!

I'm so glad I didn't hve to wait days or weeks for surgery. I saw the Dr one day and 2 days later early in the mornig, I was having surgery. It really isn;t that bad at all just something that has to be. Good luck and be strong. You will win this war.

Thanks folks ...I wish I had the confidence in me that you folks have. Guess it will come!! My eyes are closed as tight as they can be!!! I have tried going into things with my eyes wide open and it seems a whole lot scarier. I am beginning to think that blind faith may be a better approach. Although at this time my faith and other beliefs seem to be taking a beating and are becoming a bit unravelled. It is very hard work to stay on track at this time and as things get tougher well I will just have to wait and see...



I also know I am very lucky to have the opportunities to fight this thing. I will probably see that once it is all said and done. Right now there is no other word for me except scared!!

I just re read this post and find it kinda funny would love to practice but I have had all my teeth removed earlier on in life and have not been able to wear my bottom dentures for months now. So I have no teeth to press my tongue against. I guess I will really have fun with this one!!!

Dianne, I should have mentioned as Rita did that you should go to doc and get some relaxation meds -- It does no one any good to have you overly tensed and stressed out -- I usually forget this part because I am lucky enough to take this sort of thing in stride -- You will heal much faster if you aren't wasting energy being stressed about something you can't control -- Just sort of mellow out and enjoy the ride instead of fighting it -- Stay observant, IOW, concentrate on what's going on outside, not inside.

The other trick, as all my docs and medical friends advise, is to start the pain meds and keep taking them so as to stay ahead of the discomfort curve -- If you fall behind, it takes more time and discomfort to catch up. I am still taking some pain meds because they just seem to make it all go easier.

If you sort of expect the worst (without letting it stress you out), then you are pleasantly surprised.

I forgot to mention that pre-surgery, I applied some cockroach decals (supplied by daughter, who has much the same warped sense of humor as I do) to the other wrist and wrote "DO NOT CUT HERE!" with a sharpie -- The nurse anesthetist was amused when he came in to place my IV portals on a foam block on that wrist -- The doc had just come it to mark "No IV" on the harvest wrist.

BTW, my harvest site is healing up quite well; looks a bit ugly because they went so deep, but the staple marks where they sealed the blood vessel harvest are already gone.

In my case, they tied off a lot of tongue sutures to my lower teeth (I've remarked that my teeth looked like a line of cleats in heavy use at a marina dock) -- I wonder how they will handle that in your case.

Thanks Pete but I find this so wierd cause all my life I have been told to just live with the pain. This has been hard but I have done it as much as I can. Besides when I take extra strength tylenol it doesn't really help. And even T3's don't seem to do too much when I got them for surgery. I am not sure why but a nurse here has said that some people's chemestry just doesn't allow it to work not sure why can't remember actually but was impressed. Plus they really constipate me which I cannot have either. Anyway I got the same advice from a friend who had a kidney removed with cancer and she said the same thing. She actually got in trouble for not using her pain pump when she was in recovery. I will talk to the doctor about some relaxing medicine. I can only try for some reason I get told to live with it as I have said before.

Just want my mind to relax!!!

Thanks for advice...

Immediately out of surgery, they were giving me some kind of morphine, but then switched to oxycodone, which took a little longer to kick in (15-20 minutes) but then lasted a longer time and seemed to taper gradually.

I used to be the stoic type, but now that I know I can be, there's nothing to prove, so why should I put up with the discomfort -- It's like choosing to sleep on the floor or in my bed every nite -- I've slept on floors and rocks, know I can do it, but given a choice, I choose the bed -- Likewise the pain meds, if you still have something to prove to yourself, then tough it out without the meds, but I'd recommend Outward Bound or some such for that kind of thing.

Talk to the Docs and explain that the tylenol stuf doesn't do the trick except cause stoppages and you'd like to know what else is available -- If you can, get the anesthetist ahead of time because he/she may have some ideas -- Don't overlook the nurses; they can't prescribe, but they've seen a lot and may be able to recommend -- You really do want your body concentrating on healing rather than just trying to keep out of shock from pain.

Where this really hit home for me was in a couple of former lives ago when I stupidly managed to pour flaming gasoline on my hand, lower leg and ankle (Don't ask, but it was a brief moment of entertainment for the neighborhood kids "Look, Mr D is on fire! Cool!).

They had me on demerol in the hospital (I find demerol to be strange; the pain is still there, it's just not exactly MY pain, sort of distant) and neglected to give me a shot about an hour before a debriding session (You have to keep up with the staff, who sometimes make mistakes -- I always ask "now what are you giving me?").

Debriding consists of getting into a warm turbo tank to get all the burned skin soaked and then getting on a table when a lady with a hatred of all things human attempts to scrub off the rest of your skin, including the good stuf, with Turkish towels (they were invented for removing skin at the baths) -- About that time, the levels of demerol in my system dropped below enough to 'not enough' and I really got to practice my stoicism!

Ok so I don't take the cake for living with pain. Although mine is not by choice lol...Holly cow man I thought stunt men wore suits to do become men of fire!!!


Anyway thanks for the valuable imput. I will take it to heart I still have so much to figure out and so little time but that is what is bothering me now. The time factor. How fast this thing can grow. I read that in two weeks can double it size I also realize that every person is different. But if it is even close to that...I am surprized the side of my neck is three times bigger. I have probably had this since December 07, biopsy July 08, and sugery to remove it not until Sept 8. God this thing must be huge and how much bigger will it get from now till sept 8. I am counting on my doctor knowing his stuff he should have the cat scan by now (done last wed.) I know they will let me know at pre surgery appointment if anything has changed in the proceedure but this just blows my mind. Now I don't wanna wait that long.