Paula,

I really do understand about surgeons being people and that things happen, often beyond their control. I just get so frustrated when their actions appear so much more like they just don't give a darn (not the word I wanted to use).

I am afraid that the only doctor I was able to speak with that night was the RO who had recommened the Gastro doc. I did end up appologizing to him because it really wasn't his vault. He only made the mistake of returning my call that night.

Part of our conversation went something like this: (keep in mind my words were laced with sarcasam).

ME: Dr. X told us that he was going to take the NG tube out.
RO: When he told you that he didn't realize that the tube was stitched into the nasal cavity.
ME: Are you telling me that Dr. X did not perform enough of a physical exam or a review of Chris's records before surgery to realize that?
RO: "long silence"..... I can't ask Dr. X to do something he isn't comfortable doing.
ME: He isn't comfortable cutting a stitch?
RO: There could be a problem with bleeding.
ME: Since Chris is in the hospital I certainly hope they could handle a nose bleed.

Anyway, the end result was that all of my complaining did pay off, with an ENT visit to Chris's room the next morning. He took a pair of scissors and cut the stitch. All done - less than 60 seconds.

I get too worked up trying to make everything perfect and it just isn't going to happen. I am so glad I have this forum as a way to let some of that anger out. Somehow, I need to learn the "Coping" part of this particular Forum.

On a better note, the plastic surgeon my husband saw yesterday was not as vague as he usually is. He actually gave us a timeframe for when he might consider another Free Flap. We weren't sure how soon after radiation that might be done and just knowing a timeline makes a big difference. The fibular bone that is making up Chris's mandible started to deteriorate after the infection.

But, that is months away and this week we only have to think about radiation.

Thanks for all of your input. It really helps.

Karen

Karen, hello there. I also live in the Atlanta area and had my treatments here. Where is your husband being treated? From what I have read I see red flags popping up all over the place. I am no different from any other survivor who hold 100% faith in the team and facility that did their job. I would love to discuss this if you would like to talk about it. Send me a PM with your phone number if you like. Bill B