Carol my heart goes out to you during this time.
I really don

Carol I am so sorry to hear of your mother's cancer diagnosis on top of the multitude of other health issues she has. It certainly makes treatment decisions more complex. I can understand the use of palliative radiation in an effort to shrink the tumour. The PEG tube is a good avenue for administering nutrition, medication and fluids to keep her hydrated. I would have reservations about the tracheostomy as being hard on her and the care required following. Would the Dr. consider a wait and see on the trach? Are you able to have a meaningful discussion with your Mom about these things to know what she wants in terms of care. There are medications available to control symptoms that occur at the end of life, even shortness of breath. If she gets to the point that she is not able to take her heart medication, cause of her death could be her heart giving out. Usually not an unpleasant death. There certainly are lot of things for you to think about, but if your Mom is able, let her be your guide. Do you have good medical support from your primary care doctor and home care nursing services available, also family support?
Sending you hugs, courage and strength for the days ahead.

Thank you Malka,
Talked to her GP yesterday who looked at the ents notes and made a few suggestions for the remaining months of her life. He did recommend the tubes, stating that death by slow suffocation or starvation was not pleasant or the desireable path to follow. He also stated that his opinion on the radiation was - if they cannot say that they think it will improve the quality of her life then don't risk the quality she has now for the months that are left. He put in a referral for hospice care and gave her several different options for pain management. The PET scan was done last Friday and we see the tumor panel next Monday. After we see them and digest their recommendations, then mom will finally have to decide.... This is all very difficult. Thanks for your input, appreciate it.
Carol

Michelle and Wallyswife,
Wow, you are so courageous and your journey has been very tough indeed. I just replied to Malka before this reply, having not realized that there was a third page to my post - must be a dumb blonde thing...., so I just repeated it here. I talked to mom's GP yesterday who looked at the ENT's notes and made a few suggestions for the remaining months of her life. He did recommend the tubes, stating that death by slow suffocation or starvation was not pleasant or the desireable path to follow. He also stated that his opinion on the radiation was - if they cannot say that they think it will improve the quality of her life then don't risk the quality she has now for the months that are left. He put in a referral for hospice care and gave her several different options for pain management. The PET scan was done last Friday and we see the tumor panel next Monday. After we see them and digest their recommendations, then mom will finally have to decide....
Michelle - I hope your husband fares better than your other family members have, my prayers are with you also.
Wallyswife - Yes, mom understands what is going on, she just doesn't know the type of death that is just around the corner. Either way - there are no easy choices. Thank you for your care and concern.

Carol

Carol my heart is with you .I send my prayers. It is so hard to watch a loved one suffer like this. We stood by my dad until he took his last breath. He chose to come home and not die in the hospital. The Drs gave him morphine for if his pain got too severe. He never took one. You have to be strong for your mother but really it will show her more if you did in fact shed some tears for her and with her. I do understand she has other medical problems. I have to walk a step behind my mother most of the time now because she has a heart condition and passes out alot. Now I have added to her stress with my cancer. We lean on each other and can only offer our hugs, tears, fears and most of all our love for each other. I told her today that if this next biopsy proved to be cancer again I would not take further treatments as that is my right. She told me she would stop taking all the drugs that she is on as that is her right. Neither one of us will do what we said because we have to be there for each other. Be there and give her your support. My mom lost her youngest son to cancer in 1978 and my dad ten years ago. The Drs told her that when abody gets to a certian point it shuts down and feels no pain. so her laughing and smiling may be Gods way of releaseing some of her pain.I don't know if this will help you in anyway but after watching members of my own family I do know that after what seemed an eternity of pain it was like they stopped having pain. My baby brother refused the drugs for pain that the Drs gave him saying he didn't need them. My mom hurt enough for the both of them. She is my hero and most likly the strongest person in the world at least to me she is. Yes she is in pain but she tries to hide it best she can but I see it in her face. I try to give her some of my pain meds but she refuses. Pray for her not to be in pain, God does answer I now this for a fact. Good luck and again I will send out a prayer tonight and every night for you and your mom. Brenda

Hi, My husband decided not to have any treatment because of other major health problems. I ain't going to lie is was terrible the last few months. He was diagnosed 7 months before h died though. And I believe he he wasn't so stubborn hospice could have made the last few months more bearable for both of us. He had to be nagged, begged and threatened to increase his pain medication. As bad as it was though we never regretted not having it treated as he really enjoyed the first 5 months after his dx. So as with anything it depends s much on the individual. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me.