If you could get him to call me or you can call me at 727-322-5669 during the day I will try to help. We have all been there and each of us has had to find our own way to cope. It comes from within but it definitely helps to get encouragement from love ones. Not all encouragement need be soft love. My wife used tough love on me several times to make a point and it would have sooooo much more difficult without her.

THe denial is what he has to get thru. When he admits to himself that he has cancer, his outlook will change. My mom went thru the denial and as soon as it sank into he head that she had it, she became a different person and wanted to help herself anyway she could. I wish I had some idea of how to get to his mind and make him wake up to the damage he is doing to his body . I would be willing to talk to him also at any time after rads & chemo are done for the day. 740-425-4307.. I bet right now this is bothering you and your mom much more than it is him.

Larry's Daughter,

The concept is simple really. Good nutrition and hydration is/are the basis for healing. The body can not repair itself and function thru the onslaught of chemo/radiation without optimal fuel and water.

Bill and I thought it odd early on in his treatments that he always felt better the day after his chemos(strange huh??) until we realized it was because he had been hyper hydrated intravenously to offset the side effects of the cisplatin. That was a wakeup call to us to start charting the amount of fluids he was taking either by mouth or PEG.

I would place eating and drinking, however the method, at the top of the list in its importance for a good outcome just under a good treatment plan.

Dad...listen to all of us and give your body the best chance to heal. We are cheering for you and we know that you can get thru this if you get those calories and ounces of water in every day. Remember, every day the calories that you miss can never be made up...you will always be behind and your body is begging for some help.

Deb

Larry,
We are all praying for you to get through this situation.
You remind me of the time when one of my boys was small and did not like to take medicine. I had to sit on the floor and pin him down in my lap, hold his nose and pour the medicine in. When he was about 5 we went on a business trip without the children and when we returned he told us that he now takes medicine from a spoon because Uncle Sandy told him that's how big guys do it.
Be a "big guy" because no one is going pin you down and force you to eat and drink although you daughter probably would if she could. Help your wife take care of you by doing what is recommended now.
Hoping to hear that you have improved.
Malka

I will be brutally honest. If I were to speak to him in person, I would tell him these things:

You MUST get at least 4 cans of nutrition in per day and dont forget the water also. You need at least 2000 calories a day, preferrably 3000 right now. Dont end up in the hospital like I did twice for not getting enough in. It sure wasnt fun being stuck there feeling like crap for 6 days the first time and 4 days the second.

You are very fortunate to have your wife to care for you. Your daughter is trying to help as much as she can. Let them help care for you, but you must help yourself too. I had no caregiver. All I had was my 17 year old son drive me to treatments, he was too young to fully understand. I was 'supermom' never sick and did everything for everyone. I had no one who checked if I took my meds or fed myself. Maybe if I had been lucky enough to have a caregiver I would have had an easier time of it.

Without the proper nutrition and hydration, your body will not heal. This will make your recovery take much longer than necessary. It can take up to a year and a half to get back to normal. You dont want to drag it out longer by not doing something that you have control over like nutrition.

If bloating from feedings bother you. Talk to your doctor about a feeding machine. I ended up with one that I use overnight because I had so many feeding problems. My feedings are done while I sleep and are at a much slower pace than doing the syringe feedings. This works cuz your stomach isnt getting overloaded so quickly. The overight feedings are the only way I am able to get enough daily nutrition.

All I can say is that its a viscious disease and I myself have still not come to terms with the fact that I am a cancer patient. Even after everything I went thru. It never sunk in that I could die from this. When I was told I had cancer, my first response to my doctor was how do I fix it?

There should be a nutritionist available to talk to where you are being treated. Listen to what they tell you. They can make the difference between having an easy time and struggling. It might be a good idea to talk to your oncologist about some anxiety medication. I had to take Lorazepam to relax.

I really wish that you werent having such a hard time of it. I went thru the treatments and know how bad it is being strapped to the table for radiation. I hated the PEG from day one. I could go on and on with advice, but all I can say is your family loves you and is trying to help you thru this terrible time. Its going to get worse before it gets better. By helping yourself with rest, hydration and nutrition, it will make things better all around.

I will keep you in my prayers.

My mom gets on to me all the time because I don't eat alot. But I really do for me. I eat probaly 1/3 of what I used to eat. I have a quart bottle of water by my side at all times. Even take one to bed. But after the radiation treatments wre done I just had no appetite. I do get one or two boost of ensure down a day but my stomach is full feeling all the time. But being stubborn and hardheaded or too scared just doesn't cut it. My mom will fuss at me as if I were 12 and I am almost 50. Tell your dad that he can sip on his water all day as long as he gets it in. Sip on the ensure, carnation instant breakfast or boost but at least three a day. My nutritionalst gave me a sample of carnation instant breakfast that was made for people in and out of treatments they have 450 calories in them not bad. And they don't taste bad too. Come on dad drink up, your daughter is begging for you. My daughter told me I was being unfair because I tokld her I was not going to have any treatments so I had them. I suffer a lot less then others do but my life changed as well as others. My new thoughts are eat drink (BOOST) and be merry.

LarrysDaughter,, I hope by now you Dad is well on his way to regaining his appetite and energy. You know I will always be here for you. Tell him I said go for it and make his family proud of him for being a better fighter.

Try the Carnation VHC as it has 560 cals in the same 8 oz can so you get more bang for your effort. I hated eating for the longest time post Tx. One because it tasted sooooooooo differently; two, because I got sooooo tired from it taking sooooo long to eat whatever I tried and three, because I just didn't have any appetite. But you just have to eat and drink or it won't get better so hunker down and tough it out. I am 17 months post Tx now and I really enjoy eating again so it will get better.

In a perfect world he should be taking in 2-3,000 calories/day and 2-3 liters of water. But most most of us didn't - especially me and I still survived. It was ugly to watch but I am fine now. I had to be rehydrated several times and lost over 60 lbs. (I only weighed 168 going into this). It is a very wise idea to document or log everything he takes in, meds, water, food, etc. Anytime he vomits the fluids must be replaced. Everyone else has given excellent advice so I won't add to it except to assure you that most of us had a tough time of it and made it through.