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| Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 104 Senior Member (100+ posts) | Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 104 | My husband would listen to what Cancer Clinic staff recommended, try it once, maybe, and then declare that "it doesn't work" or "I don't like it" and go on his way which likely caused him more suffering than was necessary. He became very depressed and withdrawn, spending the last year mostly lying in bed trying to sleep through it all. Initially I was very upset and even angry with his attitude but eventually decided that in order to preserve my own sanity I would back off. I would gently encourage him to try things, reinforce the reasons he was asked to do them. When he didn't comply I just let it go as it was not helpful for him or me to be fighting and angry over it. If you take a look at your father's personality he is likely running true to form in his manner of coping with his illness. My husband has now had a recurrence, is not accepting further treatment, and I think he is as peaceful as he has been since his diagnosis. He is going to die and not have to face life in a manner he does not wish to live. While I am very sorry this is happening I will support him and accept his choices. Good luck to you and your family as you work through this tough time.
Caregiver to husband Dx. Stage 4 SCC of gingiva with 3 nodes pos. Partial mandiblectomy with bone graft from iliac crest Dec. 2006. IMRT x30, Cisplatin x3. Completed Tx. March 15, 2007. Osteonecrosis & removal of graft & plate Oct. 2007. Recurrence of SCC Dec. 2007. Deceased Jan. 17, 2008.
| | | | Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 179 Senior Member (100+ posts) | OP Senior Member (100+ posts) Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 179 | Thank you for your response. I have tears streaming down my cheeks as I read it. I feel for you, I feel for him, and sadly it hits close to home. I will keep you both in my prayers. Thank goodness for this msg board... and the ability to share with each other and TRY to get through this together.
Dad: Age 65 Heavy smoker/drinker. Biopsy-No surgery. Cancer base of tongue/throat. "Invasive Squamous Carcinoma RRT" --Beginning 1/9/08: IMRT treatments (5X/wk),chemo pills (4/day) and Chemo IV (once/wk) PEG tube inserted 1/25/08. Treatments ended 2/26/08
JUNE 30, 2008 Officially CANCER FREE!!! | | |
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