Dec, 3, 2007 we were told hubby could consider himself cancer free and we were eagerly looking forward to proceeding with treatment for his severe dysphagia in Jan. The second week of Dec. he developed what looked like a cold sore on his lower lip and by Christmas week it was growing and pustules appeared on his chin and right cheek and neck. By Jan. 1st swelling below jaw on right side of face causing pain and on Jan 5th surgeon confirmed our suspicions that cancer was back and now not curable. So in one month's time we have gone from "cancer free" to "palliative treatment". My feeling is that it will go very fast if this past month is any indication. What a year this has been!

Hi there
On June 4th Robin was told every thing was going according to plan and looking good.A week later he had a pustule appeared under his chin,a week later he had a weeping sore and a week after that a hole the size of a grape.Hospital visit July 7th he was given exactly the same news.Cancer was back and incurable.
It baffled me then and it still does.How does this happen?

I dont know what to say to you both,except i do know how you will be feeling,and i dont envy you.I send my love and thoughts.good luck.

love liz

That had to be a back breaker to the both of you, I pray that he doesn't suffer needlessly and can enjoy to some degree the time he has left. this is the time to make him keep his chin up and make him laugh as much as possible.. Our family is always here for such times. I have you in my prayers and will tell the pastor to put u on the prayer list at church.

What terrible news and such a sad timeline. My heart goes out to you and Wally. I will be holding both of you in my thoughts.

Devastating news, my dear...so sorry to hear that y'all are having to deal with this. Just know that your family will be in our thoughts. We're here if you need us...

Lois & Buzz

I am so sorry and know exactly how you must be feeling.
The 'lumps' are appearing and growing fast for me now--but try to stay positive--last March/April, as my jaw started to swell rapidly
to the size of a watermelon, I thought the end was very near--but I'm still here and a living example of how the right Palliative Care can help enormously. Stay with us and we will help you through all we can,
Brenda

So sorry for the both of you. How did the doctors explain such a quick reversal ?

I like Davids question and am wondering the same.

dear guys do you ever get over the fear. there are days i try not to think about ot at all. then there is other days it is just to much.i forgot which one of you had the not smoking phone no.i relly need help they say ever thing looks good. I am so scared go back to ent in jan 14.mine was on vocal cord.does anyone know what site to go to toget more info.Ineed it in eng
Had 6 weeks rad and 6 chemo.sorry to babble. now i have some ear aches but also have been fighting bronchitis.Sorry forgot the capsitials .
.

Lolita,

Go to the OFC Cancer Blogs forum and read the entire post- Richs plea!- I remember reading a drug that was given to Rich for smoking cessation and Julie said it seemed to make a difference. Now Rich was so addicted that he even smoked while his mouth was filled with blood from his cancer.

Lolita, we all react differently both mentally and physically to this ordeal and we all try to deal with all these issues in our own way. Don't hesitate to discuss your feelings with a trained professional.

DEAR david they gave me the chantix but had to cut the dose due to stomach problems.but it does work some.i finding bumps on my neck i think that arent even there.i go to ent the14 of jan.evry thing has come back ggod so far
least little ache sends me into a panic.I am almost 5 mos out of rad and chemo they say they got it all i hope.

Lolita,

What type of support network, family and friends, do you have? It sounds like you need someone in your life to support you in giving up smoking.

You were lucky they caught your cancer early and you didn't have nodes or mets involved. And, they gave you an intense treatment and continued follow ups. The docs did and are doing their part, now you need to do yours.

You sound lost as if you don't know what to do next. If drugs aren't working, try professional counseling with an addiction specialist to stop smoking.

We can support you here and celebrate in your successes...like today, can you try to smoke 1/2 of what you did yesterday?

Please try to get additional in-person help. Wishing you the best!

Thanks for all your kind thoughts and support, it does feel good to know you are all out there and understanding like no one else I know.
No explanations how we get from "cancer free" to recurrence in such a short period of time. As we all know this disease is a very fast mover once it gets started, and I think it is present for a while before symptoms are evident. Dr. said when skin metastis is present it means the disease has found its way around all the bodies usual defence mechanisms and distant metastis is also likely, especially to lungs. CT scan confirmed lung mets. I am sure palliative treatment will be offered but I don't think hubby will accept anything that will prolong his life. He has had a terrible time with depression all through treatment and with not being able to swallow, has no wish to continue on. It is good to hear, Brenda, that these palliative treatments have given you so much more quality time. I still marvel at your trip to California. You are a good example of what positive attitude can do.
We have a very supportive healthcare team and friends offering help so I will get through this and will try to manage hubby's care at home. I also will try to recognize when I have hit my limits of endurance and accept hospice placement if needed.

I think hospice here is different from in US.
We can go in and have therapeutic treatments, pain controlled sorted, then come back home---okay to die! But maybe later because of 'therapies'. Haven't done it yet,but will when need to!
Has he got anti-depressant meds? I have, and although doc won't give me antii-anxiety meds for my latest biopsy----anit depressants DO work do whoooo---skin!---I'll cope somewhow--don't have choice do I??
Yoga breathing helps--try that for yourself--life is for the living! It's got me through more before and through and after just this cancer!
Because i KNOW I've had a lucky year (I loved going to see my daughter), I will cope, and have just booked what may well be a 'final trip' to Cyprus in 4 weeks time--see friends, relax in warmth, maybe even die whilst there or shortly after coming back.
Have chest/side pain, 3 neck lumps--all growing--at the end of the day, I've lived my 58-yr life, loved my family and cared for my parents before their deaths, taught and counselled scores of Special Needs kids and their families, brought up 2 wonderful twins (hey, In spite of me!)
Lolita--begin a new thread that 'just for you'---go to 'new topic' we want to support you!
Brenda

The newest drug to ease smoking cessation is Chantix. One of my dau-in-law quit smoking within a week of beginning the meds. Good luck to you, my dear!

Lois

Wallyswife and Brenda, you are two of the strongest, most practical, amazing women I know. Your approaches are methodical. Your lives filled with love. You make the best of each day and have provisions for days that might not be so great. You have each taken situations that would cripple many people into inaction and shown us how to take each day one at a time without concentrating on the long term outcome. Much love to both of you.

brenda how do i make my own thread .sorry im slow at all this
thanks lolita

Lolita,
go to the forum list: http://www.oralcancerfoundation.org/forums/ubbthreads.php/ubb/cfrm
Then select in which forum your topic fits: e.g. Oral Cancer Recurrence
then click on new topic (left top corner) and give it a name, viola!

cheers
M

Hello all. Just a short post to let you know hubby lost his battle Jan. 17th. I was able to keep him at home and comfortable to the end with the support of our medical team and my family. It was what the palliative care movement would call "a good death". He died free of pain, in his own bed surrounded by the love of his family. I miss him terribly but am thankful he is now free of the physical and emotional suffering oral cancer imposed on him. Thank you all for the emotional support over the past months.

Joan: No words can comfort you, I'm sure...Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time...

Lois & Buzz in NC

I am so sorry...

I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

My thoughts are with you at this very difficult time

love liz

So sorry for your loss--I had wondered how things were going.
Thinking of you,
Brenda

I'm really sorry but now his pain is over. I'm sure you miss him and that's a good thing as his memory will comfort you in the good times and the bad times. We will also be here for you whenever you need to talk and reminisce.

I hate to read of anyone passsing , and especially our family. I have you in my prayers and Wally too. I'm sure he isn't feeling any pain now and the pain that is left will be your missing him. I wish you the best.

Im sorry for your loss. I wish you peace at this tragic time.

I'm very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.

I send you and your family my thoughts and prayers. So sorry to hear of your lose. Make sure you keep in touch here. We are all here to give you the support you need.

Take care,
Diane

Joan,
I am so sad he lost his battle but glad that he went peacefully and without pain. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Take care,
Eileen

I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope that in time your happy memories of your time together will help to ease your pain.

Donna

I am so very sorry to hear of your husband's passing. I only found this site on the 19th, and already it has proven to be one of the best moves I've ever made. It not only inspires hope, but brings to reality the seriousness of what we are dealing with... you and all of those who suffer are in my prayers. Godspeed.