Dan,

I am sorry to restate what has already been said in this posting, but.......... way too much info there! I firmly believe that, when properly informed, you are your own best advocate, but these test results are replete with information that is, or should be, over the head of most patients. I know you went in with sufficient background info to accept scan results for what they are, imperfect. If you trust you doctors, and you appear to, I would look for a less detailed report next time. I get mine, "no evidence of reoccurrence or metastasis". I usually follow-up with a few obligatory questions and try to move on. Of course I'm going for my first pet-scan today, 18 months out, and I'll probably be singing a different tune next week! I'll admit that in my mind I don't anticipate the longevity I once expected, but I have managed to control my anxiety over theses tests. You seem to being doing so well, enjoy it and GET BACK TO WORK. I have been back one year this week and it is a life saver.

Glenn

While I won't go into the whole list here, my recent PET had things on it that I couldn't even imagine. Just listen to this and realize all the stuff that is in here, and then try to sort out something I'm going to choose to worry about. Mildly prominent bilateral activity near the vocal cord musculature...hell, this is from talking to the tech after the admin of the injection. Non-focal activity in the right posterior chest... more BS, this is after effects of the treatments. OK one worth looking deeper into... Physiologic activity is seen within the heart...the activity is suggesting possible coronary artery disease. That one made me step back a bit since last month I saw a cardiologist had a treadmill stress test, etc. etc. and he said I was good to go...there were ( from a cardiac standpoint) lots of good miles left on the odometer, and that given all that I had been through I was in great shape... for a 98 year old woman!! ... (just kidding, but everything looked pretty good to him) But I will be seeing him again now with the PET results to see what his take is on all of it. Remember the radiologist, as part of his due diligence, reports EVERYTHING but does not interpret it. There are likely degenerative changes to the shoulder bilaterally. Crap I'm no spring chicken!! Of course my shoulders aren't what they were when I was 25, and I survived a couple of helicopter crashes in Vietnam where I got busted up a bit. And I worked hard as a young guy doing work in construction so that all makes sense. Nothing like spending a few years moving around concrete blocks and lumber ( this is how you start out in construction, doing everyone else's grunt work) to put some degenerative changes in your shoulders later in life. There are degenerative changes of the hips...yeah, yeah... age and falling out of the sky in flying machines that quit flying, and hit the ground hard again, and there was that time 20 years ago when I dumped my Harley on a gravely blind corner when some idiot in a four wheel box came around the corner in MY lane...That hurt like hell and caused a little hospital time. And this is only part of ONE page out of three!!!! Lots of this stuff is just wear and tear of being an old fart that has had a full life of being a normal guy. So take a deep breath, don't go looking for the boogie man, and review again in 90 days. By the way next time ask for a PET/CT fusion scan. If you have metabolic SUV activity somewhere yet there are no positive matching irregularities, nodes, whatever on the CT that corresponds with it.... it is usually just a result of the treatment and healing. You aren't a doctor. And even some of the doctors out there are not that good at interpreting this stuff. It's a "grey science" without absolutes or finite rules, it's open to interpretation of the reviewer. Keep perspective on things. Don't lose sight of that point.

Brian,
you crack me up LOL!!! 98 year old woman indeed! I had completely forgotten all about all of the "degenerative" stuff (and not the mental kind either). I think moving Hammond organs and all of the pro audio sound systems around (not to mention a 20 lb. bass guitar for over 40 years) is what did me in.

THANK GOD IN HEAVEN that I am getting my sense of humor back. This damn disease almost completely stole that away.

And for Karen, my baseline scan was an MRI for what its worth. And it wasn't exactly your optimal baseline scan either :p obla di obla da

And for Dan - be sure sure to tell your wife you love her for putting up with you - you can tell I told you to.

Thanks to everyone who's been posting here. It really helps to have a little bit of humor applied to such a stressful event as post-treatment scans.

I remember my husband's first post-treatment CT scan. Our radiation oncologist knew I was really stressed about it and so, when he happened to run into us in a hospital hall about an hour and a half after the scan, he invited us to come to his office. There he proceeded to dial into the hospital's recorded records system and play for all of us the report of my husband's scan. I think I wore a track in his office pacing around while we listened to body-part-by-body-part interpretation of the full body scan. I'll never do that again.

Anita

Thanks for all the advice.

Sometimes I need to step back and look at the big picture!!! I am returning to work on Monday. I always tended to focus on one thing during this ordeal, "Will I survive"? In the meantime I have come a long way. Being able to eat, talk, and enjoy things in my new life. I am sorry if I came across as a nervous wimp. I think it's time for me to step away from the board for awhile. It's hard to step back as I enjoy my new friends and future new friends. Thanks for all your help.

Dan Bogan

Dan,

There are no wimps here! I just got back from MSKCC where I had my very first pet-scan (I am 18 months out). I almost cried when, after giving me the radioactive injection, they told me to drink the huge bottle of barium stuff! And I don't consider myself a wimp. If the boards offer you comfort don't step away, just keep everything in perspective.

Glad to see you too enjoy Baseball as an escape from all this cancer stuff (are you talking about Randy Johnson AKA "The Big Unit").

Glenn

Daniel,

I wept as I read this thread tonight. Everyone has rallied around you to lift you up just as you have lifted up so many time and time again on this board. My heart is full of joy for you. You have not wasted away the time during your cancer treatments and recovery like some people might be tempted to do, but instead you have made yourself a friend and guardian angel to those of us still trying to find our way through.

It's your turn now. You can release the breath you didn't even realize you were holding.

Christine

Oh sure! leave while we are having such fun?

You didn't sound like a big wimp...maybe we were hasty in doing "damage control" just in case you "might" be a wimp

I think you will enjoy work!

Dan ...don't step away, you now have insights that are valuable to others, coming down the path behind you, and the compassion you show others here is unconditional. You are a valued part of this community, this band of brothers and sisters, and while I want you to keep perspective, I want you to know that you are needed here by others as much as you need to still have your own questions answered. Cancer will always be part of who you are, and you will wear it with trepidation sometimes, comfort sometimes, and at other times it will only be a small hum in the background that is barely audible. You can't change who the new Dan is, and you shouldn't try. The new Dan is a better man for the experience that he has seen through to the end, and you now have a story to tell. One of fear, followed by acceptance, then by a fight ,and now by victory, even if some insecurities still live within you. It is a typical mythical hero's journey story and others need to hear it. You can't bury what has happened and put it behind you, you have to integrate it into who you are now. My guess from all of your postings is that you will be the teacher in the future............. you have graduated with honors, and it is your turn to pass on your experience driven knowlege. No one who has not traveled this path can do it better than you can. Stick around, 'cause this is the part where the real satisfaction and rewards begin. So don't you even think about going away for awhile, like Mark said we're just starting to have fun. You've got work to do here and hands to hold!!!

Dan, what Brian has posted (twice even ) is very true. However, I understand the need to step away from time to time. Sometimes the cancer I used to have becomes too much a part of the present. In my case, I usually have two or three or more patients, referred to me by my docs, who I am hand-holding through their treatment by phone, e-mail, and in person, so a little breathing room becomes necessary. Go ahead and step back if you feel the need, but I think you will feel like returning sooner rather than later.