Thanks mostly to all of your care and concerns,(especially Joanna) coupled with the research I have done myself, (and as I told myself I would over the weekend), I have decided on this plan of attack...bear with me!

The Attitude Check:

First of all, I am beginning from a real nice position of hope. What I hear y'all say is this..IMRT, any radiation, is no picnic but it has good promise...a better- than-most shot at fixing the problem. I am prepared for that...it sounds like a lot of the negatives are not "forever" and that I can live with.

Then I have recommitted myself to my Higher Buddy and have had a long chat with myself about faith. Knowing that the old sayings like "If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it", while trite, have blatent impact for a reason. I feel like if I am to get through this as "comfortably" as possible (for all involved) I am going to have to be well positioned in trust and faith and sometimes go "blindly into the night." This I understand and more importanly accept.

I have mentally identified a circle of friends who all are aware of the challenge ahead. I know they will be there to offer any support I ask for without thinking twice about it. I am really lucky in this regard and having you all there is the certainly the crowning jewel. I am counting on you. The most important thing is this...I will not be afraid to ask for what I need.

And finally I have smiled at myself... because that face in the mirror and I are going to have to be really good friends for awhile...in constant and clear communication with each other. This cancer and I have to live in this body together. Somehow we got into this mess and we will get out. Sometimes I am going to require that the treatment give me a minute... and sometimes it is going to require I give it a minute or two. It's a fair deal considering the circumstances. I acknowledge the problem and the "fix" and I promise to be my own best friend giving and taking to make it work.

I am going to start seeing my psychologist again just to have someone professionally watching my perspective. He is a wonderful man...appt Wed.

The Treatment:

No IPT...IMRT is the plan.

I will have all my teeth extracted next Monday at 10:00am, in the office with IV anethesia. All 34 are going...by 11:30 or 12 it will be done. I have someone going with me to take charge after!

Then the wait and healing. And learning how to eat softly. Nutritionists here I come. I really think it might be intersting since I have never seen a nutritionist before. New preparations and new recipes. New flavor combinations, while I can taste! Does it go? This will be new knowledge for me and...why not get into it. Will I speak clearly?

While healing, mask fitting(s) and CT scan, possible MRI, "rehearsal" and off we go. Tattoos! I figure about 2 weeks then we are off and running? But I am adjustable!

Going to do the 120gY/2 daily/M-F/6 weeks (how's my jargon now!) and we are off and running with a thank you in my heart and a smile on my face (there will probably be a heavy sigh in there somewhere).

I will deal with the PEG if the need arises.

That's as far as I have gotten. I think it might be as far I as can go right now. I do understand it is all subject to adjustment.

This is a great venue to get all of this out of my head where I can physically see it. I am sure down the line when there is doubt it will come in handy ro review my original committment. I think it might help keep me focused and confident.
Thank you for this opportunity and your time.


I think I am ready....and I mean this... you all have been instrumental in this plan and I know you will be there for me in the weeks to come. I vow to do the same in return in what ever way I can, because one thing is perfectly clear...there is tremendous knowledge, experience and compassion here. That is huge and powerful! I never cease to be amazed at the emotion and character that is visible through written words on a screen.

Please check me out here and if I need to modify the plan or define more clearly...come at me...

Bless you all,
Chin up...
Russ

Good Luck Russ, Sounds like you have the right attitude to attack this dreadful cancer. There are alot of members on this forum that will be pulling for you. Keep us posted as you journey
through this process. Dan

Hey Russ,

Not a bad attitude...and as they say attitude is everything...and as I say..."I always have an attitude"

Yes, I believe you will come to a point where your taste is affected. Maybe IMRT is different. But, most of it should come back. Although some of us have lost different things. I myself lost my taste for chocolate. It is really nasty tasting to me and also some forms of sugar. So, I still am finding my old sweet tooth. (maybe that's one of the ones they pulled)

My husband has had all of his teeth extracted and does really well at eating and talking. It's not as good as original but he isn't too limited in what he eats. Although corn on the cob is a challenge. Talking is great too even without his teeth in.

You will do well, simply because I can tell by your resolve you plan to do well.

Take care,
Dinah

hi Russ,

go for it. be a brave warrior.

best wishes,
i think you will be fine in the long run.

later,
larryb

Are your teeth really in that bad condition that they need to pull ALL of them? I would have thought that with the IMRT that some of them could have been saved.

Have you gone for a second opinion? I foolishly didn't and allowed them to pull my 16 rear teeth only to find out later that the two specialists who now take care of my teeth didn't feel that there was any reason to pull them and I had full blown radiation.

Good luck and keep up the great attitude.

Eileen

Russ passed away on Saturday.

Thanks for the info Gary.

Russ was a very special fellow and his posts to the OCF spoke volumes of his kindness and the positive info that he got from the group. He really appreciated Brian's efforts.

i'm sad that he left so soon - his posts are really worth reading again...my thoughts are for his well being.

cu,
larryb

Thanks for the info Gary,

May Russ rest in peace and his family and friends
have my condolences. Daniel Bogan

Friends,
How does someone just start treatment in September and die in October? I really don't understand. Most of us get through the treatment,which makes us, at least as far as a CT scan can tell, cancer free, then slowly get back to some semblance of normal life and hope and pray that there is no recurrance.
Russ's passing is baffling as well as troubling and sad.

Danny G.

Maybe Russ' passing had nothing to do with cancer? Just a thought.

My condolences go out to his family and friends.

Diana