We are sad to learn that the radiotherapy undertaken by my 80-yr-old mom during Mar/Apr is not successful. She is suffering from SCC right lower gum. In Jan it was stage II. The tumor was temporarily shrunk after the RT and we thought it successful in Jun. However, it comes back and becomes stage IV now. The doctor can only recommend surgery to remove abt 8 cm jaw bone and replace with bone from her leg. Titanium arch is considered not suitable because her jaw bone has been damaged by the RT. Mom does not want to go through the ordeal of such a major surgery. However, the doctor said the tumor may keep on growing and stuck the mouth with the rotten flesh if nothing is done. Knowing that surgery is not a good choice, the doctor said we may explore whatever alternatives (e.g herbal or nutritional theray) though he personally knew of no successful case. Meantime Mom can still take care of herself and cook and go out when the pain does not attack. However, the pain becomes more and more often and severe this week. We are face with a very difficult situation, hard to say either option (surgery or doing nothing) can be an acceptable one. Mom has been living with my family but what if the tumor keeps gorwing? What can we do now?

8cm of bone and the other surgery to get the autogenous graft from the leg may sound like a lot, but it is not as extensive as many have gone through, and are still around to talk about. At 80 years old though, it will not be any walk in the park. If I live to be 80, I will be both surprised and happy, but I think that even then, given a sound mind and a fighting chance to beat a particular disease, I would want to fight on. ( Realize of course that this is a 55 year old person IMAGINING what he will think in 25 years

So very sorry to hear about your Mum. When reading your post, I wondered the same thing as Brian, how does the doc feel about surgery ? Does he feel she can tolerate it? Again, ultimately, it is her decision. We wish you the best.........Packer and Dee

Thanks everyone. It is comforting to have someone to talk to esp. those who can understand the situation.

The plastic surgeon said 80-yr is not too old to go through such an operation while my mom's physical condition, albeit on long term medication due to slight heart failure, should be able to stand the operation. He cited a 40% healing rate in average worldwide (i.e. survival after 5 years) and the operations he has done so far have all been sucessful. The ability to walk will be affected to a certain extent but should keep her remaining life a decent one.

My mom, being brought up in an agricultural society in Mainland China in early 1900s, has received little education and it is hard for her to fully understand what cancer is and how would it develops. She still thinks that there must be a reason for the tumor and the doctors should prescribe some medicine to help her. I tried to explain to her that cancer cells are like weed while her jaw bone has become rotton tree root. However, I think she has not fully understood the possible adverse scenario that Brian pointed out (and that's exactly what I am most worried about). To her, the surgery could be more painful than hell (although she has survived from another major surgery to remove the anus 35 years ago) but such a conception could be emotional. Yes, ultimately we have to respect her own wish and decision.

Anyway, she still need to take an ultrasound scan and a CT scan this week to ascertain the situation and we are going to see the doctors again on Sept 2. We are not giving up. She started seeing a Chinese herbalist last week, in a hope to contain the size of the ulcer. She is trying to keep up her spirit and we have not totally lost hope.

Once again, thanks everybody for the good wishes.

The surgeon's comments sound encouraging, and given that fighting chance, it would seem worthwhile to have the procedures done. While it is always more difficult for an older patient to endure the treatments, perhaps she will consider how much having her around means to you and the other family members. With what is obviously concern and loving support coming from her family, you may indeed have many years left together if she is a figher.

Angela,
I was about to post another topic and read your situation....my god, what was I thinking when I wanted to complain about some pain that I'm managing to deal with, anyway?
My heart goes out to you and your Mom in this stressful time, and I know that you are doing the right thing by letting her make her own decisions and posting here with your frustrations and pain. You'll find advice, experience, help, and most of all, love here to help you through.
It's really been instrumental to my situation, as my family has become a bit distant and I've lost contact with a couple of good old friends when I try to explain what it's like. Most people, understandably, don't want to think about so much pain and hardship happening to people they know and love.
These folks on this board have been there and done that and lived to tell the tale; and there's incredible strength in sharing with others that are about to go down a similar path.
Hang in there and I'm sure you'll be able to help someone else who needs you.
Gordon

Thank you all for the support and sharing. Glad to report that mom's pain (which had spread from the gum to her head and neck) has reduced (though we don't know why and can only thank God) and she took fewer painkiller in the past week.

Yesterday a friend told me her mother had her cheek bone and upper palate removed 15 years ago and survived very well (she's now 71-yr old) in Singapore. My friend said her mom had her upper palate repaired with some denture material (which need to be replaced every two years) and wondered if such material can be used to repair my mom's jaw bone if she ultimately would go for a surgery. I wonder why the doctor said only her own bone or titanium arch can be used (even the latter is not suitable in her case)? Is that because the jaw bone should be much stronger then the soft palate, but is there really no other alternative apart from using her leg bone? We will see the doc coming Tuesday and would like to hear some views and suggestions so that we may raise with the doc.

For Gordon, thank you for the encouragement and I hope that one day I have some useful experience to share with members here too.

Angela :rolleyes: