#35490 08-28-2007 10:29 AM | Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | OP  "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 | Tomorrow I should be starting my 4th and 'final' cycle of palliative chemo.
After the initial wait for a diagnosis, then the 'all-change' it's incurable bit, then they give you a 'treatment plan'
Aim---stabilise, possibly shrink--not a lot of hope.
Treatment starts--you focus on 'hey, no sickness, hair okay---forget about things like 'neutrophils' and freak about them when they interfere with treatment!
Get over that hump---NOTHING compared with what others are going thro!
Okay, end of 2nd cycle 'review'---don't mention lip pain from exposed nerve from necrosis of jaw--everything else okay--have x-ray--don't do results there and then, continue to cycle 3.
Oops--collapsed vein--hurts like hell---don't tell anyone outside of hospital cos everyone else has worse horrors and this was 'got over with'.
Monday started to really 'freak' about this stage.
Full bio-chemical profile today as well as usual full blood-count--hate needles and blood tests and the Receptionist was doing it as nurse on holiday!
FREAK! (Actually, she was brill)
No phone call from hospital tonight, so SUPPOSE bloods okay to carry on with treatment tomorrow---can they find any veins???
Is the Specialist gonna tell me X-Ray shows no change or even that lung primary has GROWN and it's not worth carrying on??
Am just plain frightened---been 'coping' and doing funnies upbeat and stuff up til now, but my prognosis was never good anyway---Hospital or Hospice tomorrow??????????
Brenda in UK--Diagnosis 30/5/07--undifferentiated carcinoma in right jawbone and muscles. Stage 4
6/7/07--new diagnosis primary is in lung. Finished 4cycles of palliative carboplatin/gemcitabine
therapy September 07
Now dying to live!
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#35491 08-28-2007 10:42 AM | Joined: May 2007 Posts: 231 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: May 2007 Posts: 231 | OK dear,
Take a deep breath. EXHALE !!!! I dont see why you wouldnt post your concerns here. There may be others with worse problems but I can promise you there are those whose problems arent as bad either. Please dont ever bite your tongue when you are concerned about something Brenda. Your concerns about your health are our concerns also. We are here to help.
Billy
Dx Mar 07 with Base Of Tongue Stage IV. IMRT 35x with 3 doses Cysplatin ran concurrent. Tx ended May 31,07. Left and right node involved. Radical neck disection 7/18/07
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#35492 08-28-2007 12:06 PM | Joined: May 2003 Posts: 102 Gold Member (100+ posts) | | Gold Member (100+ posts)
Joined: May 2003 Posts: 102 | Brenda,
When you go in there tomorrow, think.... believe-that your OCF friends from all over the world are with you! Not only from "across the pond" but from up north, down under and the far east. That's one hell of a support system! If I could send you some strength and courage by FedEx, believe me I would. Just know that the positive thoughts, prayers and best wishes of an awful lot of people will go with you tomorrow.
Cancer may damage bodies, but it can't touch the hearts, souls and spirits of good people. You'll have a lot of really good people with you in spirit tomorrow.
With love,
Lisa
Niece to Aunt Ro- Dx: 4/03. SCC Stg 4 BOT with mets to fl of mth & crvcl lymph node. AdenoC 1 sal gland. Two add. reconstrc. surgeries for adhesions. Recurrence 7/06- Sub-Mand AdenoC. Mets to both lungs. Lost her battle 5/4/07.
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#35493 08-28-2007 02:52 PM | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,676 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,676 | Dear Brenda, I have a queston for you. When my husband started on "palliative treatment", there was not a final one scheduled. It was to go on as long he chose [or could tolerate the drug]. What is different in your situation? Please know that you have many well wishers here. Amy in the Ozarks
CGtoJohn:SCC Flr of Mouth.Dx 3\05. Surg.4\05.T3NOMO.IMRTx30. Recur Dx 1\06.Surg 2\06. Chemo: 4 Cycles of Carbo\Taxol:on Erbitux for 7 mo. Lost our battle 2-23-07- But not the will to fight this disease
:
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#35494 08-28-2007 03:32 PM | Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 2,152 | Brenda,
Just remember, when you go in tomorrow, we are all praying or sending good vibes to you. Take a deep breath. Remember to tell those folks at the hospital if you are having problems. Don't try to go it alone.
Take care,
Eileen
----------------------
Aug 1997 unknown primary, Stage III
mets to 1 lymph node in neck; rt ND, 36 XRT rad
Aug 2001 tiny tumor on larynx, Stage I total laryngectomy; left ND
June 5, 2010 dx early stage breast cancer
June 9, 2011 SCC 1.5 cm hypo pharynx, 70% P-16 positive, no mets, Stage I
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#35495 08-28-2007 03:49 PM | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 510 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 510 | Brenda: Regretfully, no words of experience here...wish I could be there to help you through your day tomorrow...Just know that MANY of us here are praying for your strength to bear whatever you must...
Lois & Buzz (from WAY across the sea and far South, but close to you in spirit)
CG to 77 y/o hubby;SCC Alveolar Ridge; Wake Forest Baptist Hosp surgery: 07/19/07; bi mod radical resection/jaw replacement;
T2 N2-B M0 Stage IV-A
28 IMRT +
6 Paclitaxel/Carboplatin
Getting stronger every day!
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#35496 08-28-2007 03:59 PM | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 718 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 718 | Brenda,
Praying for a day of peace and strength for you tomorrow.
Margaret
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C/G: Husband, 48 (at time of dx)
Dx 5/18/07 SCC, BOT, lymph node involvement. T1N2BM0. (Stage 4a, G2/3)
Tx 6/18 - 8/3/07, IMRT x 33 Cisplatin x3 (stopped after 1st dose due to hearing issues). Weekly Erbitux started 6/27/07 completed 8/6/07.
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#35497 08-29-2007 02:54 AM | Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 794 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 794 | Brenda,
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love, Donna
Donna
CG to Mom, dx 4/25/07 with tongue cancer,T3N0,tx began 7/6/07, 31 tx's of IMRT, 8 cycles of Erbitux. Brachytherapy, surgery, left neck dissection and temp trach placed all on 9/17/07, trach removed 10/17/07. ORN of jaw, late effect of radiation symptoms. **lost my beautiful mother on 5/5/11.
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#35498 08-29-2007 03:27 AM | Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts) | | OP "Above & Beyond" Member (300+ posts)
Joined: May 2007 Posts: 632 | Well,
A waste and not a waste!
I look like a patchwork quilt--5 plasters (band aids!) dotted round arms and hands where they tried to get a line in for my chemo---no joy, every sinle one just ballooned within seconds of starting fluids (only the saline flush!).
So have to go back tomorrow for another round of stabbing!
But not a totally wasted journey as I saw my specialist--chest tumour hasn't shrunk any, but hasn't grown either, so I'm now classed as a 'stable cancer patient'--no more treatment after this cycle as side-effects would outweigh benefits, but if sympons worsen or new symptons appear, can have radiation for the pain and possibly another 'chemo-cocktail' to try and low it again later.
Doctor is very good--he says he never 'guesses' at a time-frame as he is so often wrong! But made sure I understood that I am terminal and that things WILL get worse.
So mind is a bit easier now and am just hoping for a vein to appear tomorrow so I can 'get going' again!
Thanks for the support everyone,
Brenda x
Brenda in UK--Diagnosis 30/5/07--undifferentiated carcinoma in right jawbone and muscles. Stage 4
6/7/07--new diagnosis primary is in lung. Finished 4cycles of palliative carboplatin/gemcitabine
therapy September 07
Now dying to live!
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#35499 08-30-2007 02:44 AM | Joined: May 2007 Posts: 27 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: May 2007 Posts: 27 | Brenda: This is the hardest part I think. Now is the time to do those things you have put on your someday stack. Those that can be managed. Have lots of things that you want to do and do them. Hugs Marlene | | |
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