Dear Survivors,
I am new to the site. My name is Gerry. I am logged in as oscar f. He was my pet beagle who struggled with intractable epilepsy for many years. He passed in 2004 and taught me so much about disease/recovery/life.
My computer skills are only fair and I was unable to enter in the introduce myself section. I am cancer free now for several years from stage 1-2 tongue cancer. A tenth of the tongue was taken and neck nodes. I was very, very lucky. I had recurrences of dysplasia which led to more surgeries. The last procedure was in 2003. It has left me with a real problem talking. Dr. says it is neuromas on the tongue from the surgery. This had affected every area of my life and may or may not improve. Dr. says moving the tongue makes pain and boy is he correct. Many days I am just grateful to have a tongue and be able to speak at all. Other days I am very frustrated and angry. There are not many places to express the anger. The few friends that I have left, I don't want to share it with. Family members once in a while. My boyfriend, that it a whole other topic. I temper it all with gratitude. Sometimes even making written lists to reinforce the many things I am grateful for. I pray, a lot. I write in a journal, a lot. I am in counseling. I get acupuncture 1 time a week. I try to keep quiet to keep pain levels down and not take a lot of medicine. I refuse to trade one problem for another. I have cut down on work hours and toyed with the idea of disability. I usually am very glad to still have my job. I work for a family member who is understanding.I have tried denying the anger. This does not work too well. It is okay to be angry, for a while, not too long or else I am giving away my power as a human being to choose. I am now reading a book called "Of course you're angry". My counselor gave it to me and it helps.
Good luck to everyone! Thank you all for your input.
Gerry

Hi Gerry and welcome! I am sorry you are going through all of this, sounds like you are doing a good bit to help yourself though and that is a good thing. ....Take Care of yourself....you can PM me if you want, anytime.....Carol

Hi Gerry,

I was wondering if you should see another Dr. about the pain? I am sure that it is not helping with your anger & depression.

I think we all get angery about what we have lost and wish we could get it back. I too get upset at times when my tongue does not do what I want it to. Some words have changed for me and I try to find other words to use so it sounds better.

Not sure if I was any help, but know you are not alone.

take care
Diane