Dear Friends:

It is with shaky fingers that I type this message to you as Dave and I embark on the start of the real process of his treatment for oral cancer tomorrow with surgery starting at 0730EST.

We are trying very hard to be okay this weekend and took all of your suggestions and saw a funny movie, ate out, and saw good, trusted friends. Among those friends,we have added many new ones in all of you and we are both so amazingly grateful.

Thanks to all of you who have helped us as we have contemplated treatment options and cheered for us as we decided the surgical route was best. I chuckle as I have the vision of Packer in costume appearing in Dave's anesthesia haze!

We had our final meeting with the surgeon last Friday and he has relabelled dave a T2. N1 (this is down from a T3-guess it depends on the day) and cautioned me that "overbearing health care type partners can sort of get in the way". In true team spirit, I told him I didn't intend to be intrusive, just present for Dave as I am sure he would be if it were loved one.So, basically,Dave has oral cancer(which can be treated successfully) and some surgeons have more socially based ailments(don't you wish you could cut them out?) but we won't get into that here...

To recap, Dave will be having a modified radical neck dissection with node dissection and a graft to his palate from his wrist followed by post-op radiation.

The surgeon tells us youth is on Dave's side and the line I love best, "you are healthy". Well, let's see, would we be here if Dave was completely healthy? I'm being a little too cynical-this surgeon is actually a very nice guy, I just think he's not used to having "information people" for patients but here we are informed and detail oriented and let's hope he is too in the OR!The new line from yesterday that we also liked best was that Dave has "small volume disease" which is good and yes, size does matter.

Thanks to all of you also for your various suggestions-Dave now has a memo board to write on in case trach-speak doesn't work, a pillow, healing tapes, portable healing objects,body cream, etc...I think we have it all covered except they probably won't be able to find dave under all of the healing stuff.

I did draw the line when Dave asked if he could pin a pair of my panties to his johnnie as a transitional OR object. Probably too off color for this forum, but I know packer would approve and it tells me Dave and his wacky British sense of humor are still in there.

On a serious note, I will all of you close in my heart tomorrow and you will remain our inspiration to get through the day and the weeks to come.

I will try to get a message up as quickly as possible afterward. Dave also says thanks and he will write as soon as he is able.

Hope this day finds you well.

With gratitude,

Kim

Good luck Dave and Kim.

We will be with you in spirit. Best wishes to Dave for a speedy recovery!

Cynthia

Best wishes, it is clear you are in many peoples thoughts including mine...Brian Hill from Paris France