Knowledge is power! Once they have made a diagnosis, things will move very quickly and you need to know what your options are before they start -that's one good reason to hang out on the site (as scary as it might be). And believe me -we are all praying for you that it's nothing more than a benign little bump. I can't speak for Brian but I am sure that he, like the rest of us would like to see everyone survive this horrible disease. We have been where you are -we care about you and want you to have a successful outcome -wherever you go for treatment. Hang out here long enough and you will read the heart wretching letters from the caregivers whose spouses did not make it. I call them "convincers" - a reminder just how serious this disease is and why we fight the good fight. When I first found the site I had just been diagnosed and, like you, it scared the crap out of me. After the shock wore off I used the site to gain knowledge that changed the course of my treatment and certainly made a huge difference in the quality of life that I am enjoying at the moment and in the future. These days one must be their own advocate when it comes to treatment options. I have made many friends here who have helped me immensely to get through this. I think that the reason there was so much discussion about where to get treated is that there ARE some folks who visit here who are truly clueless. I wouldn't put you in that category. I am looking forward to hearing a positive (good) outcome on your biopsy report and will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Gary
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SCC, Stage III, Right Tonsil

Desiree,

When I saw the dentist and was sent directly to the Oral Surgeon about the lesion on my tongue, I had that "sick" feeling that something was really wrong this time. Driving back to work was terrible. I immediately told my best friend in the office, a Masters prepared nurse, what I had found out and I totally lost it. I also told my husband and children. A few others from work saw me upset, and found out that way. As I work in a hospital setting, I found great support from knowledgable people.

One thing I did that worked well is that I told everyone who expressed concern for me that I would update my boss and immediate office mates on my condition. That way my husband didn't have to tell the story a million times. He or I told the boss, who passed it on to the appropriate people. It made returning to work after I got the diagnosis of squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue easier. I got lots of hugs and didn't have to talk about it! We formed an email notification list for my hospital stay, and that worked well, also. He could send out an update when he got home for the day and not have to face making phone calls.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. My daughters are 15 and 17 years old, but I don't think I could have faced leaving them for treatment. Those hugs and kisses have been good medicine!

Take care of yourself.

Desiree'
I didn't hesitate to tell people. Weather you have cancer or not you'll probably benefit from the support you get. It is a wonderful experience to know how many people will come to help even if it is only a kind word. If it turns out that it is not cancer (I hope and pray) Then you can rejoice with them.

Part of life is to share with others good and bad. It is how we gain depth, understanding and compassion.

I have not told this next experience to very many people but here goes:

During one of my darkest times when the stress of the cancer thing was about to break me (I mean bad) I suddenly was overcome by a most welcome peace, the stress just evaporated and I felt really good. I found out several weeks later that the very time I was feeling this, a group of people, I mostly didn't even know, were praying for me (it was a relative and a group from her church 800 miles away.) Amazing things are possible when people put their hearts into it.

Take care.

Dear Desiree'
Maybe things get intense here, but it's only out of a feeling of helplessness. Hindsight is 20\20 in all cases. I'm there with you hon. I'm not the one fighting cancer, my husband is, but we all want the best treatment for you there is. Please take a deep breath....you have so much hope left. Take the doctor's diagnosis, and if not happy with it, look elsewhere. If prayers are on our side this time, you will have an easy time and many years with your babies.
Love to you both,
Mandi