My mom is going through rads and chemo for this at 75 which seems a good deal younger than 87. She's not in the breeze through category but she is getting through it. I think she was feeling discouraged this week (week five and things are getting hard) and one of her doctors assured her that a large percentage of patients couldn't eat at all at this stage so the fact that she was pushing so many calories orally was a pretty good sign that she was doing alright and tough as nails, but I knew that.

About 3 days a week the rad tech comes out to get her and mentions to me, "your mom is one tough lady" which of course I know.

She's going to Norway and Finland next summer. I don't know what oral cancer thinks it is going to take from her but the harder it gets on a day to day basis the more she doubles down on her Finnish lessons. She has places to go, people to meet, a book to write. She's battling this hard.

Her father broke his neck at 93. The doctors said at his age it was a miracle he was alive and as for healing it was a long, long, long shot. But they did what they could because that's what they do.

3 months later when he went for his x-rays they couldn't find the line from the break. Full stop. Healed.

He lived another four years and we had good times with him, worth it times.

But these are two people who weren't done yet, really. They are strong, tough. fiercely independent, stoic, and strong. And again and again and again, I can't stress this enough, they weren't done yet.

And certainly just in the six months I've been lurking about here, I know that not being done yet doesn't guarantee anything about long term outcomes, but I do know it is going to get my mom through the end of treatment and it is going to push her through recovery.

So the question that only you and your mother can answer is, is she done yet?