Such an appropriate topic. I am just 3 weeks post and find there is a large hole where once there were daily treatments, lab tests, and constant contact with medical professionals all having a very clear and common plan and prescribed goals.

One that that all stops, instantly. Then you are there all alone, drifting in the sea, nobody in sight, nobody asking questions, nobody to ask questions of, no contact, no routine, no set defined goal, no sense or progress toward a goal, just adrift.

I am not longing for a return of those crazy times, just stating another transition in this new life of living with cancer. Throughout the entire time, I had another "job" that took a lot of time, energy, and focus to plan and prepare and execute each day. Those hectic days are now past being post treatment.

In a new phase, the need to plot and plan this next leg of the journey begins. One with fewer visits and check in yet filled with far greater significance. Those first few scans are not taken lightly, even me being a stoic for the most part, will not be entirely surprised when the days draw down the that first PET. Is it gone? Is it all clear? Is there anything new or odd?

Meanwhile, planning to return to daily life as it was, although with a radically different view on life and meaning of how any day gets spent, becomes the focus for me now.

Adrift at sea, all alone, but say! Is that land?!

Yes I remember after I finished Tx saying to myself "what now". Big letdown and of course you couple that with "will my cancer come back?" and it's no wonder we all don't become basket cases.

Yes, I am in this weird space too. With the 2nd recurrence, I feel like I lost the support of some friends too. Maybe too hard for them. Not sure. As for me, I feel tense and antsy regularly as well. I still want to do stuff but I think I am too self conscious because of my lisp. I'm working through it but its tough for sure. I'm praying that with time, I will adapt to yet another new normal and be more social with friends.