Hi Suez..I have read through some of your posts and I can certainly commiserate with you. I think I may have said something in an earlier post that my husband has always been kind of standoffish even to me..which is beyond annoying. He fluctuates as far as his meanness level, either way I keep my distance, it's not worth it to me to get into any kind of argument with him. I stopped working to care for him and am looking for another job..that is going to be difficult..I need to be out and about and being productive. Hopefully this too shall pass...however not soon enough..

Yep I go to work every day 5 days a week! He used to even get mad at me for doing that and leaving him than he would say "Go to work you need to do that so you can take care of the house and don't miss any work on my account" Ya back and forth, mean, nice, mean, nice. And he is not a mean person at all, he is loving, compassionate and a very giving person. When I met him he never had a relationship that lasted more than 6 mo and his life was partying every day, he didn't have a job very long or any credit to his name. I tamed the tiger the family says. And all I did was not take any of his stupid crap and show him there is more to life than waking up and drinking. We've been together 14 yrs almost and it had it's moments. But I'd miss the goof even though I've kicked him out many times in the past. So back to his meaness, it was the drugs and the unknown of what life will be like and losing his ability to eat like he used to when he did eat and not just drink. Now he has gotten totally 100% so much better!! His attitude is great, his appetite is great, and he is very nice to me. I just did want I wanted to do, like I go usually 2 times or more a month out to eat with my kids,(and Ron has given me money to do it too when I was short cash!) I've gone to the Casino a couple times with my family, and he is all for me getting out of the house. He does have his moments, like yesterday he tried eating my beef barley veggie soup I made and he yelled at me for putting in carrots cuz he can't eat them...I just gave him a look like...ya riiight THAT would make it taste good without em. He just took them out and put them on another plate and continued eating the soup without another word... Ya just have to do your own thing Sal, like tough love. I just told myself "it's not my fault this has happened to him so I don't need to be punished for it" (is that bad?)You need you time or is it me time? lol whatever it is take it and enjoy (at first you may feel guilty)but it will start to feel wonderful when you can go I've even gone to BW3's on Tues Wing Night all by myself when he wouldn't go with his trach and NG in, it don't bother me at all and now if I want to go and nobody else can he will go with me!
Good Luck hang in there! It will get better

Hi
I too have written posts sharing problems with my husband's anger and change in his personality this past year since his reoccurance. I am happy to say he has slowly returned to a person I recognize as my husband. I contribute that to him weaning himself off of the depression medication he was on, finally getting a scan that shows no sign of cancer and starting to eat again. He was told that he had to have surgery to move his PEG to a new location in Dec. if he didn't have it removed. That was all he needed to hear, he started to eat and realized he could eat more things than he expected. I had also realized I needed to stop hounding him regarding his eating, status of med issues etc. He also spends a lot of time alone on his farm and comes back more relaxed. It does get better but I would not have believed that 6 months ago! Hang in there.

Oh ya eating too helps, they sleep soo much better with a full belly! And wake up in a much happier mood. Ron is really eating like crazy! He is eating anything he can get down and it's alot more meat this time around too which he is so happy about that he can finally eat some meat oh and fish also he finally got some Talapia down last week Friday!! I was so happy and so was he. But no steak...I wonder if now he will let me puree it maybe for him to get down. Hmmm will have to ask him.