How do you deal with other people that are so concerned about you, that they make decisions for you. I am so sick of hearing, well I am doing this for health issues. How are you supposed to go on with your life when people keep reminding you of it. For example, my 9 year old left for church camp today for the first time. I signed up to go as a sponsor and one of the other sponsors was told to talk me out of it. She did not talk me out of because we are good friends. However, I was still not allowed to go. The reason, my health issues. What health issues? SO yeah, i had cancer, key word HAD. I went on 5 mile hiek with son at cub scout campo in the heat and survived. I drive a car that has no air conditioning. I think i am tougher than they realize. Yes, when I an ulcer show up in my mouth I get scared, but who wouldn't? No one will let me go on and get up and do things. I have started feeling liek if that is what they want, then I will give it to them. I have ought really hard to get over the depression and the emotional issues this thing caused me, and today i was reminded of it again watching my son go on a bust to camp without me. I know he is in good hands, but that is not the point. I have always gone to camps to be a sponsor. Now that I have had cancer it is impossible to get people to listen to me. I have even had colleagues call me and tell me to file for disability. WHY? I am not disabled, I very capable of working. Do I get tried easily, yes. Do I know my limits, yes. It has been 18 months since finishing treatment and no recurrences. So why can't people realize I am going on with my life, instead of reminding me that I was sick at one time. UGH! I have enough of those reminder with the dry mouth, and the scar tissue pain, and all the lovely radiation side effects. Id not need any person to remind me. Sorry this was so long, I just needed to vent.

Hi Angelia,

I'd be angry too if I was in your shoes!
There are lots of people out there who are ignorant and many more who are just plain stupid. It is easy for them to say whatever they think is appropriate--they haven't lived it. I'm sure it hurts. I think of J when doctors would meet with us and they would talk about him as if he wasn't there. Even the 2nd opinion phone call came to me and not him! It seems like some people think that a serious illness isn't confined to just a body part and that it affects mental processes and the rest of the body as well.

I'm sorry you are around insensitive people who can't seem to accept that someone ceases to be a patient and becomes a survivor. There are important distinctions between the two.

Makes me wonder if there is some legislation out there that addresses discrimination against cancer survivors.

Take care,

Sandy

Have you considered having a talk with the source that started this whole thing? I would. We all vent sometimes. I really would go right to the person who made this decision and have a nice long chat since it will only be a matter of time before it happens again. I do allow anyone to determine what I am capable of doing. You are a tough girl, speak up for yourself. If you dont nobody else will.

When they return from camp, I will be talking to him.

Hello Angelia -- How about politely saying cancer isn't contagious and never has been. Then smile knowingly, because apparently they don't.
[img]http://www.jonrb.com/emoticons/angel3.gif[/img]

Well if you want to get picky, HPV is extremely contagious and it can cause cancer and all of us HPV+ SCC patients "caught it" from another HPV carrier.

[quote=davidcpa]Well if you want to get picky, HPV is extremely contagious and it can cause cancer and all of us HPV+ SCC patients "caught it" from another HPV carrier. [/quote]

That's assuming that was the cause of Angelia's cancer. I have tongue cancer and haven't had oral sex since 1984.

Cancer isnt contagious but HPV which can cause cancer is. On Saturday I listened to an ENT talk about HPV. He discussed HPV is being looked at as an STD. By vaccinating our sons and daughters, we are protecting them from the 2 strains of HPV that cause the most serious diseases, 16 and 18. An OC patient who is HPV+ usually has their cancer located in the base of tongue or in their throat. An HPV+ OC patient responds to treatments better and has less chances of a recurrence.

Why did that have to become about HPV. I do not have HPV, so I am and HPV- cancer survivor.

Angelia,

There is a quote I like to use by a great woman, Eleanor Roosevelt. "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." I like to expand that saying to no one can make you feel "anything" without your permission. You control you my dear, your emotions, your response to others ignorance etc... Don't play a victim card, you are not. You ARE a survivor and a fighter and if someone tries to tell you what you are or aren't going to do, stand up for yourself. You've got two middle fingers girl, use em.

Anyway, a mans perspective

Eric