having a very hard time with him forgetting things, it's causing major issues this morning. lucky me, the one thing he does remember and hold on to is the moment yesterday when i lost my temper. the 30 minute apology later... completely forgotten

this morning i told him to quit with the pity party and get over it.
going to be a long weekend in springfield with his kids...

C

I have therapy/counseling set up for myself starting next month, I don't know how to get him to go for himself.
He is feeling like I am out to get him.

Any suggestions are welcome, you can email them to me over the weekend, along with any other comments/advice y'all may have to offer. I welcome it all. Christine-Moore at att dot net.
I will be away from the forum until Monday, but will be able to check emails.
Hope you all have a great Spring weekend!

Specific question I keep asking myself... when is it time for help? When do I call for a p/t aide to come in.
What if this confusion is temporary. What signs are going to tell me such? Am I wrong to not want him operating a car? Is it wrong to think he needs someone to manage his schedule, his meds, his food/water intake? He doesn't tell me what he's done all day.
I feel like it's a disaster waiting to happen. And obviously I am reaching a breaking point. Perhaps I will come out stronger on the other side of it. I pray that is the case.
How the heck do I approach such a thing as assistance for daily living to such an independent indignant man?
He's gonna hate me....

You mentioned about spending the weekend with his kids. I don't know how old he is but are his kids "adults", if so maybe they can help you get thru to him... it's worth a try. You might be too close to the situation and he may need to hear it from someone else.
good luck !

Yes, his kids are grown. They are very non-confrontational when it comes to their dad. He gets difficult and they concede or walk away. I feel like that is the MO for his whole family. I remember calling his big sister one day for help, and her big advice was "that's just how men are".... after all those offers of being there if I need anything... that's all I get from her? seriously.
It's a whole new world to people faced with such things...
Like a secret society that recruits randomly and has hellish initiation.

I hear your frustration and feel your pain. I have a simular situation and it is very lonely. I have come to realize as well meaning as many friends and family are - you are alone in the journey as caregiver. For me, it has been a huge adjustment to our married life of nearly 40 years, a viberant, passionate man has changed to someone I do not even recognize. Just a shell of the person he was, with no emotions except anger and apathy to life, aged before my eyes beyond his years. I hold on to the hope that my husband will return but I am scared. I try not to take offense to his words, try to be encouraging and upbeat but it is difficult some days. Sorry I wanted to let you know you are not alone with your frustrations and instead I have dumped my own thoughts. Take care.

Oh dear
I went through a particularly bad patch like this and it turned out to be morphine psychosis.Horrendous for three days,confusion,aggression,disorientation,peeing in saucepans in the middle of the night,hitting me,cutting his infusion pump.NIGHTMARE!!!!!Resolved quite quickly once diagnosed,pity i couldn't be as easily calmed.There could be all sorts of reasons but you aren't going to find any answers without help,and at this stage of things a trip could be disasterous.

@ Karen, I totally empathize with the one you love changing into someone unknown/unrecognizable. Your thoughts are valid and welcome. Thank you for sharing. I mourned the man lost to this disease for a very long time. Still do.

@ Liz, oh my word! That would be a nightmare indeed!
Matt is reasonably well behaved at home, but in public all bets are off. I would be horrified if I were to know exactly what transpired at Best Buy the other day.

Woke this morning to blood spatters on the kitchen floor. (not a massacre scene or anything, but it was stepped on and spread)
No visible wounds on any of our cats, no cuts to anyone's feet. I did not inspect his hands as he waved me off as if I were a moron for thinking he could cut himself and not know it. So, I just mopped it up and went to work.
His power drill was on the kitchen counter. No idea what that was out for, and I'd be hard pressed to get him to remember even using it. Will just check him out again tonight.

He is even more adamant about getting out on his own and being independent. I say "see you at noon" and he replies, with a "yeah, maybe, I might be out"...

WOW...Watch out for sharp instruments. What the heck did he do with the power drill? I know when Ron does get a cuz he bleeds a lot for a simple cut. But he knows he did it. Wow, take care of yourself and watch him.

Todays outing was to our local Sam's Club. Thank you Lord, he did not get kicked out. He did however have severe rage that brought him to his knees in an effort to control it.
I've secured him an appointment with psych. on Wednesday.
Will be redoing his mp3s tonight to remove anything not upbeat and loving.

You poor thing....the stress you must be under right now! I'm so glad you have an appointment with the psych doc on Wednesday. Something is definitely wrong. Good luck and keep us updated.

Shelley

Shelley - I am due for a nervous breakdown, just haven't had the time to schedule it yet =)

Will definitely keep u posted, it's the only thing that keeps me sane.